


To Rekindle a Fire

by FiliAtYourService



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: BOFA Fix-It, Comatose, Durin Family Angst, Durin Feels, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fili!Hurt!, Kili!Hurt!, M/M, Maybe Mute!Fili!, Past Rape/Non-con, Post BoFA, Rape, Still debating on pairings, Worried!Kili, Worried!Thorin, lots of flashbacks, serious injury
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 51,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3665124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliAtYourService/pseuds/FiliAtYourService
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a BOFA Fix-it because I couldn't stand it. </p><p>The battle has ended and the enemy has been vanquished. </p><p>The line of Druin has survived but not without complications. With Kili suffering from a head wound, and Thorin' sent into a coma after his recovery takes a drastic turn, Fili has lost his ability to speak and the healers can't say if he can recover it. </p><p>How does one rule a kingdom without being able to yell at people to get their asses moving?</p><p>Formerly titled (The Fire of Erebor) but I changed it because it sounded corny!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bard wandered through the icy plains, still reddened with the blood of all those who's lives had been ended short.

This was the second day for the aftermath of the battle, yet they were still trying to clean up the corpses and search for possible survivors. 

From what he had heard from the Dwarves of Erebor, Thorin Oakenshield had been found fatally injured and close to death. The small Hobbit that had been accompanying the dwarves had been cradling the dwarf in his arms trying to put pressure on a wound sustained to the king's abdomen.

The young dwarf Kili, the one who he had watched suffer in agony upon his dinner table before he had left to take care of Smaug, was found in poor shape as well.

In fact if it hadn't been for the two Elf Kings stumbling across him beside the unconscious elf maiden, Tauriel he would have been lost already.

King Thranduil of course had been immediate of turning a blind eye to the wounded prince, but the King of Rivendell it seems always has the opposite opinion when it comes to the Mirkwood king.

Thankfully Lord Elrond, was able to do some sort of freaky elf healing thing that they seem to do, and stopped him from bleeding out. Elrond still didn't expect the young archer to make it through the night due to the severity of the wounds. 

Both he, and his uncle the King Under The Mountain himself were still in critical condition and had yet to awaken for more than ten minutes at a time, since they had arrived. 

As for the other prince, his fate was yet unknown. Several of the dwarves went out searching for the golden haired dwarf but failed to find neither him nor a corpse if he were indeed dead.

Everyone had a feeling that they knew what happened to the young dwarf, Fili he believed had been his name, and a majority of the dwarves were already trying to accept it.

According to the one with the funny hat, they were hoping to find him by the time the moon rose tonight because they have yet to start rebuilding and there are plenty other's who need attention, so the search would likely be called off.

Bard remembered seeing the tears that had welled up in the happy go lucky man's eyes as he forced the words from his mouth.

Clearly the young prince was either a very loved companion, or something more than that to Bofur.

His thoughts were ended there as he took a glance at what he had come across near some of these collapsed ruins, his bow was instantly in his hands an arrow already loaded. 

It looked like the remains of a recently put out orc camp, it had been hidden by all the broken pillars and debris, taking a look at the ground he studied the footprints from those giant beasts from Gundabad the scum rode upon. 

_'Definitely Warg prints, fresh too. They must have just retreated.'_

That wasn't surprising, since they'd been finding small groups of wounded orcs fleeing from hiding spots ever since the battle ended.

Apparently even they too were capable of being smart when it came to knowing when they were not capable of a fight.

The bowman turned abruptly to the left bow aimed upon hearing a small noise from a ruined building. It was a very faint noise, and he figured most would dismiss it but it was a noise none the less. 

Cautiously taking a step closer, he stepped inside the ruins, intending to glance about the room only to find himself looking down upon discovering that the floor had collapsed.

He glanced down the twelve-foot drop and frowned when he saw the faint puff of white from someone's breath, this is also what attracted his attention to blood trails, a discarded knife, and the back end of an arrow that had been snapped in half.

“Hello?” Bard called hesitantly. 

A small rasp resounded in his ears, and the abrupt clatter of wood hitting stone was his reply.

The other end of the snapped arrow, minus the tip, rolled into his line of sight after it had been dropped, the middle of it stained with blood he noted.

“He.... …. e... ….. re..... ....” A series of coughs and loud gasping followed the weak plea.

So much trouble just to speak, the man knew that this person had been there for some time. 

Keeping his bow in his hand he jumped down the hole, wincing a tad when he realized that this collapsed floor was a bigger drop than he had expected, causing his ankles to tingle just a little bit as they scolded him for the strain.

Now looking around the room, he turned around to where he had seen the signs of a person and what he saw made his heart clench with both relief and horror. 

The golden haired dwarf, Fili the one who had been missing.

Sure enough there he sat propped up against the stone wall, his amour was strewn about next to him and he'd taken off his tunic leaving his trembling form vulnerable to the freezing cold. 

He tossed his glance back down to the discarded hunting knife before walking over to pick it up, there seemed to be char marks upon the very top of the hilt. 

The prince had an ugly, nasty burn on his left side and it wasn't until he noticed the small pile of wood from broken window panes and the ash from a long put out fire that he pieced together that the young dwarf had cauterized some serious wounds himself.

 _'How on earth did could he do that himself without revealing his location to that orc pack that was just here...?'_ he couldn't help but run the thought through his mind as he looked back to the body of the snapped arrow from before. 

Frowning as a thought came to his mind, he silently walked over to retrieve it before Inspecting the wooden shaft. 

Bard had already noted that there was plenty of blood covering the middle of it, however now that he had it in hand and had a better look at the wood, he could see several small notches appearing to be bite marks amongst the wooden shaft as well. 

_'Smart...'_ Bard mused, he was honestly a tad bit impressed.

The man of Laketown turned back around to focus his attention on the injured dwarf prince who hadn't said a word, he couldn't help but furrow his brow as he observed his behavior further.

He was holding a hand over the center of his neck, almost protectively from what he could see, both dried and fresh blood seeped beneath it staining his shaking fingers red. 

The uneasy silence of the dwarf made him nervous, so he finally spoke. 

“Master Fili. Many think you dead, we should get you back to Erebor, can you walk?” he inquired taking a step forward. 

The young dwarf seemed to shield his injury more so as he approached him and finally Bard could see why. 

He'd taken an arrow to the throat.


	2. Chapter 2

Fili opened his mouth to speak but instead erupted into a fit of coughs that forced specks of blood onto the floor.

_'It must not be deep enough that he's unable to breathe.'_

Bard knelt in front of Fili so he could be at eye-level before tentatively reaching for the dwarf's hand that was obscuring his view of the injury. 

Instinctively the dwarf grabbed at his hand holding it tight, a wild panic shone brightly in those pleading eyes. 

“At ease. I just want to see it.” he reassured as best he could. 

Fili's grip on his arm slackened allowing the man of Laketown to gently take hold of the dwarf's other hand and pull it away carefully.

He prodded the pale skin a little bit before realizing that the arrowhead was embedded just barely underneath his flesh, he could see the tops of the arrow bindings.

 _'At least his neck isn't broken, there would be no hope.'_

The sudden tremors that started to attack the dwarf's body snapped him from his thoughts, he pulled his fingers away meeting the dwarf's eyes with a sad smile and stood rising back to his full height.

“Can you walk Master dwarf?” 

Fili's brows narrowed as he started looking at various wounds marring his body, calculating whether or whether not he could or more should walk to the gates of Erebor in his condition. 

Bard waited patiently watching the dwarf assess his injuries as he did so.

After a couple of moments Fili tilted his face up to look at him and met his eyes again. 

_'I still can't believe how small some dwarves are, he's probably about as tall as Tilda.'_ the man thought upon noticing how the dwarf sat with his neck awkwardly posed just to look up at him. 

He still gave no indication of an answer but instead looked rather reluctant to say anything.

Seeing Fili's brow narrow slightly and the new position his jaw was set in, it took a moment for the man to recognize a pout and realized that it was pride more so than uncertainty holding the dwarf's tongue.

He waited for a moment thinking maybe Fili would sway and ask for his help, unfortunately he wrong and was starting to get irritated when an angry glare formed upon the lad's face as he stared at the floor. 

As he continued to wait he observed that though the unhappy scowl remained on his face, his blue eyes were slowly turning glassy as they welled up with tears of pain, and probably in the case of 'dwarf stubbornness' he wouldn't be surprised if frustration had a bit to do with them too.

 _'Oh for the love of- the stubbornness of dwarves certainly was not exaggerated! I see why Gandalf can get frustrated.'_

Bard let his eyes wander about the place again, he saw no way the dwarf would be able to climb up the eight-foot drop that he had just descended to get down to him. Not in his condition anyhow.

 _'Well actually... height may be an issue to get up that as it is.'_ he mused quietly.

With that last thought he mentally kicked himself, finally taking note that some folk were not as lucky as others. 

As a boy he'd heard rumors and tales of dwarves. 

Most of those stories spoke of them having a reputation for being driven power-houses when it came to battle.

That was very much true, he saw how the dwarves fought two days ago, and they just kept going. There was one dwarrow he saw take four arrows and kept hacking at orcs even if it proved difficult, in the end what killed him was a blade through his belly.

Only one tale had he heard that spoke otherwise, and he needn't mention it, he saw what that monster did to Laketown, nothing but ruin, death, and fire.

He didn't blame them for fleeing. No being in their right mind would take on that beast. 

Honestly, he still thought himself mad to have actually ended the serpent with nothing but a black arrow. He still remembered staring into Bane's eyes when he released that arrow, seeing the tears shining brightly in his fear-stricken eyes, reflecting the gleam of the fire.

In truth hunting Smaug was one of the most terrifying experiences he'd ever been through, the only thing that kept him from fleeing was the soul fact that so many would die, and he couldn't let any harm come to his children. 

The chaos had been overwhelming, you could feel the fear and anger radiating from the town when Smaug's shadow was cast upon the ground until he fell. People screaming, people dying, and the intense heat of searing hot flames that he could still feel just from the thought of them, and lastly the roar of the dragon himself. 

The part that angered him the most, was that these dwarves unleashed that beast upon them.

Smaug had attacked Laketown with all his ruthless fury and that seemingly unyielding power, and in the end Laketown was completely swallowed by the flames and the death count was stomach churning, but at least his children made it out alive.

Those are some of the many things, he knew he will never forget. 

His eyes flicked back to the young prince again, seeing two silent tears rolling down his blood and dirt covered cheeks, and he let out a weary sigh, kneeling before the dwarf as he spoke.

“There's no shame in needing assistance master dwarf.” 

Fierce blue eyes partially hidden behind long lashes from the downward tilt of his head, directed a vicious glare up at him.

However it soon fell abruptly and concern replaced it.  
The golden-haired dwarf's eyes shifted over toward his right side where he eyed the dark ashes from the extinguished fire.

Fili scooped two handfuls of ash up and spread them in a patch beside him til the pile was level with the ground, while the bowman watched with growing confusion. 

_'What on earth is he-?'_ Bard's thoughts cut off when Fili started tracing a finger on the ground in squiggles, and he realized that he was using them to try to communicate.

Bard watched almost expecting the lad to be writing a declination or an insult, but that wasn't the case.

“Kili.” the man read aloud.

_'Why did he write tha- oh wait...'_

When Bard failed to answer right away, Fili thought maybe he had misunderstood what he meant and added a question mark after his brother's name, and stared pleadingly at the man with nothing but desperateness.

“Your brother lives, Fili. As does your King.” He replied offering a reassuring smile.

A grin formed on the dwarf's face before a rough coughing fit took hold, and when it ended he was left wheezing and gasping for air.

The dwarf lifted his head and now Bard could see fresh blood flowing past his lips to dribble down his chin into his beard. 

“They've sent parties out looking for you since the battle ended several times, your brother and uncle do not know that you are missing. They are both still in serious condition, and haven't been able to hold a conversation due to fatigue from what I am told.” 

When the son of man didn't get a response from the dwarf prince he continued speaking.

“You understand? No one had been able to locate you, if you do not accept my help and I leave you here, you will die.”

Again silence.

“I've see how you and your brother fight to keep the other safe. My daughter told me you fought orcs bare handed when he had been poisoned and was unable to defend himself due to the illness. I'm sure he's protected you in other situations and you've always done so because that's what it means to be brothers. How do you think Kili will take your death? He was on the battlefield with you and your uncle, he was there and he wasn't. He will blame himself for something that was not in any way his fault. You know this. Do you want to put him through that?” 

Fili's azure blue eyes blinked tiredly, but he could tell by the trembling of his lip that he had understood. 

Finally praise the creators, the dwarf nodded and raised both arms up so he could pull him to his feet.  
Bard smiled softly, and hoisted the blond up setting him down carefully on his feet.

As soon as he was standing a wave of dizziness swarmed Fili's head, and he realized that breathing became a lot more difficult as opposed to when he was sitting. 

His legs buckled beneath him but Bard must have seen this because he didn't hit the ground and instead was scooped up into the man's arms. 

Fili had to take a moment to register all of that, and once he had he started squirming irritated with being carried, and being picked up in such a manner.

“Sorry, but I do not recommend carrying you on my back, we don't want that getting pushed in your throat any further, and that might very well cause that with this rugged terrain.” 

The dwarf let out a silent huff and stilled, he figured if he closed his eyes he wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment of being carried like a wee dwarfling and the fact that he looked like a child, or a human one due to the size comparison. 

He also figured that if he fell asleep, when he woke he'd see his brother's goofy grin staring down at him, and he wanted more than anything to see that at least once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go chapter 2! Hope you guys like this so far!


	3. Chapter 3

The hike back to Erebor was blessed with a bit of a challenge now with the burden in his arms, Fili had drifted off to sleep about twenty minutes ago, he was actually thankful that the dwarf had stripped himself of the heavy armor earlier, it made carrying the small dwarf a lot easier. 

Bard paused in his steps when he felt the body in his arms shudder, and only now he suddenly realized it had started snowing again.

Fili had stripped himself of all of his upper clothing in order to cauterize a wound in his side, and he hadn't even thought to see if he could get his tunic back on before they left which he wished he had now.

Now he was having a mental debate with himself on whether to turn back, since they had not gotten all that terribly far from the pit the lad was trapped in. 

He glanced down when he felt Fili subconsciously try to curl into his chest, instinctively seeking the warmth that radiated off his body. 

No, they had to get him to a healer as soon as possible, if they waited for too long to do something about the arrow stuck in his throat he could very well die. It was a miracle he'd managed to keep going this long, and from what he could tell the arrowhead was still in removable condition but he did not want to take chances.

Bard made up his mind, and carefully lowered himself to a kneel before setting Fili on the ground as gently as he could, hoping he wouldn't wake him.

He let out a breath when he found the dwarf appearing to still be asleep, and started to take off his coat.

 _'He's weak enough, I do not need him being lost to the cold.'_

Being mindful of his injuries, the man eased Fili's upper body up until he was propped up against his lower stomach and proceeded to shrug a sleeve onto the dwarf's right arm. 

The man couldn't help letting his eyes explore the dwarf's half-naked body for a moment.

He noted that not one inch of his body was soft, most of it if not all of it was sheer muscle. He was very built despite his small appearance. 

Amongst his pale skin if you ignored the self-treated wounds, there were some old scars as well the light trails of golden tufts decorating his chest, lower abdomen, and down past his waistline.

He also noted a tattoo of something in what he would assume were dwarven ruins on his left shoulder.

Bard pulled his eyes away at that moment, deciding he needed to use time wisely at the moment. 

Fili furrowed his brow feeling someone handling him and opened his eyes, he was outside in the snow. 

How in Durin's name did he get out here? 

He suddenly realized that he could not see the person who had their hands on him, which meant they must be behind him, and he jerked violently with a frustrated cry.

Bard hadn't heard the dwarf wake, so needless to say he hadn't been expecting the dwarf's shoulders to seize abruptly when he took hold of his left arm.

“Easy, it's alright.” the man hushed, making sure to lean forward so the dwarf could see his face above him. 

Fili paused, he was sure he recognized that voice and he needn't think on it long because he saw the bowman's face come into view when he glanced upward. 

Things started to come back to him now and he calmed, and glanced up questioningly. 

“It is starting to snow Master Fili, and we seemed to have forgotten you tunic in that place.” Bard explained, lifting the dwarf's left arm again to pull it through the sleeve as best he could given the dwarf's much shorter arms.

The golden-haired lad blinked slowly, trying to take in the words and actions feeling his heart start beating furiously. 

_'Why?'_ he thought quietly, drowsiness starting to become noticeable once more. 

Bard gave him a reassuring smile once he had his fur lined coat on the young dwarf, giving him a warning as he picked him up once more.

“Your people will be happy to see you alive. They have been very worried, my daughter has been talking with them frequently, she became very fond of you and your brother for protecting her and her siblings.”

There was a pause as the bowman thought for a moment.

“And I have not quite had a chance to thank you for that Master Fili, so I do so now.” he continued glancing down at the dwarf, meeting the sparkling azure blue eyes that stared up at him. 

Fili gave a small snort that sounded almost amused and toothless smile formed on his lips, giving him a slight nod of acknowledgment.

The Master of Laketown smirked, looking around he could see the ruins of Dale coming into view.

Not liking the tense silence he continued speaking.

“The elf prince Legolas actually spoke up against King Thranduil.” 

The dwarf's eyes widened with disbelief and immediately shot up an almost accusingly, his attention earned as a he let out a snort. 

“I do not jest, King Thranduil had gotten news of your disappearance and his rivalry with your uncle made him stubbornly decide, that he was not to send any elves to search for you nor corpse for proper burial.” 

Fili rolled his eyes, that sounded like those two Kings for you. Mahal his uncle could be such a pain but Thranduil could be just as bad. So moody.

“Young Legolas was appalled by his father's claim as he is most of the time but clearly he will not say anything. He finally had enough and argued to the point that Thranduil let him help the elf-maiden Tauriel search for you.” 

The dwarf wheezed a bit to try to keep himself from laughing too much as it irritated his throat, but he did let out a couple snorts.

“Here I thought dwarfs could throw the worst temper tantrums I was clearly very wrong. The fuss from Legolas and the venting of King Thranduil after his son was dismissed.” 

Fili snorted again, and let out what sounded like a weak chuckle. He didn't want to risk the dwarf straining the wound any further so he stopped the jest there.

“Just remind me later that I owe Thorin an apology for the claim earlier, would you?” Bard inquired with a smirk.

Another snort and Fili lifted an arm and gave him a thumbs up, so he didn't have to shift his neck any more than he had to, he also flashed a grin revealing blood specking white teeth.

“Right then.” Bard chuckled, continuing his hike in silence. 

Fili yawned suddenly, eyes drooping slightly as he realized that the warmth from Bard's coat was starting to make his exhaustion very noticeable. 

Before Bard had shown up, he had been awake ever since the floor had collapsed in those ruins. 

The rummaging about just trying to find something to use for fire wood was a strain as it was because he had been losing blood gradually.

Remaining orcs had shown up around the ruins not long after he had pried old window panes and a chair apart to use for the fire. 

He remembered that two wargs had caught his scent, one having caught scent of his blood and came wandering around to investigate, the other while he was cauterizing the injury after he had let out a scratchy scream that he had tried to keep stifled behind the shaft of the arrow he had been hit with.

The second one almost saw him and if he had not snuffed out that fire with his tunic, and pursed his lips around the wooden shaft biting as hard as he could, it would have.

It took so much self-control just remaining quiet for that whole experience, but after he had cauterized the wound he had forced himself to stay awake because the orc pack was still above him.

Bard watched Fili struggle with consciousness and while he wanted to tell him not to fall asleep at the same time he couldn't, the lad was exhausted after all he'd been through a lot the past two days and likely weeks beforehand with his Uncle pressing them for time. 

With a sigh he paused in his tracks and felt at Fili's neck.

Immediately eyes blew wide and stared at him with panic and uncertainty until he realized Bard was just checking his pulse.

The bowman gave him another reassuring smile when he felt the steady beat against his fingers, it felt normal not like most who are actually on the verge of death, with a satisfied sigh he pulled his hand way and continued walking.

“I am no expert medic Master Fili, but if you need to rest I think you needn't worry. You're lively enough, and we shall be there soon. I know you must be exhausted.” 

Fili was hesitant at first, but as fatigue became more and more difficult to ignore he found himself drifting off in the man's arms.

Bard couldn't help the smirk that crossed his features when he eventually felt Fili's head of golden curls slump against his shoulder as he lost his battle with exhaustion.

 _'That is absolutely adorable. Wait... did I just say adorable?'_

Bard shook his head of such thoughts as he finally stepped onto the paved path that was the start of the entrance to the Dale ruins, he hadn't realized talking had passed so much time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH! I totally forgot! Well not really forgot more so I can't find the artist and wanted to be able to credit them properly but I'm going to list it now anyways! 
> 
> http://40.media.tumblr.com/8562fc4eb5c7658b14779a625d7fc021/tumblr_mh0f55wW6J1r7nx4io1_1280.jpg 
> 
> http://40.media.tumblr.com/8dea9695e54ece456be07c890448b63c/tumblr_mh0f55wW6J1r7nx4io2_500.jpg
> 
> This entire story was inspired by this heart crushing yet beautifully done fanart picture right here! If anyone knows who the artist is I'd really like it if you could link me their blog or tell me their pen name so I can credit them!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get some elves involved shall we?

Of course the only way to reach to the reach the front gates of Erebor was to pass through Dale. Bard deflated a little, he had wanted to keep the wounded prince out of sight until he managed to get the dwarf back to his people. 

_'I suppose there is really no way around it'_ he thought quietly. 

The bow man let out a sigh and started to walk once more.

“Lord Bard.” 

It wouldn't have mattered if the voice were softer than it already was, the bow man jumped in surprise at the undetected presence, the reaction earned him a small whine of protest from the sleeping dwarf in his arms.

“I'm sorry.” he whispered down apologetically to the still dormant dwarf.

Slowly Bard turned around and found both Lord Elrond and Prince Legolas approaching him. 

_'Well, I could have run into worse people actually.'_ he mused.

Both elves seemed to halt their footsteps when they saw who exactly the son of man was carrying.

Bard found it rather amusing that elves could be completely stoic about nearly everything and sometimes when you expected them not to react at all, they did. 

Legolas's eyes had blown wide, but the bow man quickly realized that the elf wasn't shocked that it was the young prince, but more so he was already assessing his injuries, and spotted the arrow wound to the dwarf's throat.

Elrond regained his composure as soon as he had lost it, and calmly closed the gap between them with his natural long stride. 

The human silently watched as elven king placed his left hand upon the dwarf's temple, and closed his eyes in what appeared to be concentration. 

Legolas had by this time snapped out of his surprise and was standing behind Elrond, waiting as the King of Rivendell checked the dwarf over. 

Elrond opened his eyes suddenly revealing a bit of bewilderment that turned to relief, pulling his hand away when he saw two blue eyes staring back up at him.

Fili was taking in his surroundings, he had already noted Bard and remembered that they were heading back to Erebor, obviously he had already seen Elrond who towered over the bow man himself and of course himself, picked up or not. 

Then his eyes landed on Legolas and the man's story from earlier came to his thoughts, he couldn't help but let out a snort.

Bard and the armor clad elf both cast their eyes down at the dwarf questioningly.

The bow man was able to catch the direction the prince had his eyes turned to, before they turned upwards and shifted from Lord Elrond, to Bard.

Elrond's face of course was completely stoic, as he stood silently watching him and casting a quick glance at the bow man who was too busy trying to figure out what the dwarf scoffed at, so he cast his attention back down at the dwarf waiting patiently.

Bard however...

He caught the confused yet intrigued look on Bard's face, furrowed eyebrows lifting with silent question. 

Filli did not know why, but the sight of Bard's look of stupor, Elrond's perfect composure, face void of any emotion, and Prince Legolas' with his confused or more quickly growing irritated scowl, greatly amused him.

Another snort, his shoulders were shaking as he tried extremely hard to restrain himself. The only think keeping him from laughing right now was the fact that he still had an arrow lodged in his throat and he wanted to move his neck no more than necessary.

Bard shot the Rivendell King an confused glance but the reluctant smile that the man was trying to keep off his face made it obvious he was more amused than anything.

Fili watched as Bard turned his attention to Elrond, that puzzled yet for some reason smug look on his face, and arched an eyebrow in question as to if the elf knew what was so funny.

The sight of Bard the Bowman, Bard the Dragon Slayer, with one eyebrow raised and the other half-narrowed, was so damn hilarious, because it was so out of character.

He bit his tongue as he let out a couple poorly restrained giggles, wincing at the dull throbbing the action caused him. 

Finally he managed to calm himself casting his eyes back up at them, the corners of his mouth lifting into a cheeky smile. 

Bard melted at the face, the golden son of Durin's smile was absolutely adorable, whether he shot a wide grin or even just a smirk. Then of course there were those beautiful blue eyes staring back up them, they certainly didn't make him look any more viscous. 

He found himself smiling back down at the cheeky face, and he was a bit surprised to see Lord Elrond send the dwarf a warm friendly smile in return as well.

“Luck seems to be on your side Prince Fili.” he spoke calmly, Fili just blinked and nodded slowly.

"Elrond." Bard ackowledged with a polite bow of his head before he turned his back to them, getting ready to head up to the dwarven city.

“Would you like me to inform the other dwarves?” Legolas offered.

Bard glanced over at the blond elf for a moment, pondering over that thought for a moment before he shook his head. 

“No, that won't be necessary Prince Legolas. I was going to take him up there myself. Thank you.” Bard finished with a grateful nod.

The elf nodded in response and turned to Elrond who watched the bowman's back retreat down the pathway through Dale. 

“How did he look to you?” the younger elf questioned as he came to stand beside him. 

Elrond turned his head to give Legolas his attention, he seemed to have to think for a brief moment before the blond received a response. 

“I think he will be fine, young Legolas. I do think that the dwarfling is extremely lucky. If that shot could have been any more precise, he would have lost his ability to breath. That arrow tip needs to be removed immediately before it can do any non-repairable damage.” 

Legolas nodded silently having registered what was just said, he turned his back and went off in search for his companion and quite possibly try to avoid his father for at least one more evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you for the lovely reviews! I didn't think this was going to be as big a hit as it has been so far! I'm very flattered you guys! HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get some insight about what exactly happened to Fili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me guys! I've been working on this all afternoon, but I sorta had an accident today and I'm not exactly feeling too good. I was helping my little sister with her softball practice, I was pitching and when she hit it, it came right back at me. Even though I turned my back and ducked, it nailed me in the back of my head right behind my left ear, which by the way is lovely shade of purple thank you very much.
> 
> Yeah it hurt a lot, and fuck it still hurts a lot. It's purple at the very top of my ear and it's swollen to the point I look ridiculous. It also has given me a bit of a nasty back of the head - head ache sorta thing. My mom's a physical therapist and she told me that she's going to watch me for signs of a concussion because ever since the incident I've been very light headed if I turn too fast. And I was like, well then. Don't worry Natalie I forgive you for the pending concussion, here have some funky music. Then I linked her this video on her facebook. XD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBFCTDEewCI --- so catchy.
> 
> But yeah I've been kinda not all with it since then, can't focus and too busy fussing over my black and blue .... purplish ear cartilage on the side of my head! If anyone wants picture of it just ask, I've been too busy taking pics of it today too. Yes, that too.
> 
> It would have been up a lot sooner! Because I was / still am excited about this chapter because I split the memory into two parts, the other part will be in the next chapter.

_Fíli let out another vicious shout as he swung his sword again, hacking an orc's head from it's shoulders._

_He looked around frantically around the chaotic battlefield for his uncle and his brother, they had gotten split up shortly after the three entered the bloodshed._

_Kili and him had taken the tunnels to scout, and indeed an army they found._

_Both of them barely had time to retreat out of the way to warn Thorin before the entire dam broke lose, Orcs were pooling out of the lower tunnels, the ones from the upper levels coming at them from both sides._

_He and Kili fought side by side as they normally have, and after some time Dwalin was able to reach them to help._

_Since then the three of them had been able to hold the front from this end, while Thorin had saught out Azog._

_At one point the orcs were becoming overwhelming, and for fear of his brother's life being taken, Fíli had come up beside him and Dwalin, and shoved his brother off the edge of the third story of the building so that he and Dwaliin could work without having to be worried non-stop._

_His brother was a skilled fighter, but he hadn't gotten the extensive training that Thorin put him through being his first heir._

_It was actually kind of funny, Kili landed onto the first floor where Tauriel and the elf prince had been fighting the orcs together, and he landed right in between them with a loud thud, before getting to his feet and was now swearing at him in Khuzdul._

_“Run Kili! Go! I will not see my only brother slain in combat, go!” he shouted angrily, looking around for their uncle._

_Finally he spotted Thorin battling Azog head on, and he swallowed thickly. His uncle appeared to be doing fine by himself, but he couldn't help the feeling that today would end badly._

_Kili. He needed to get to find Kili._

_He wheeled around with his sword angled to block an oncoming attack, the sound of iron clashing against iron sparked through his ears before he even registered his opponent._

_When his eyes glanced up to his attacker however, he felt a feeling of unease._

_Bolg._

_Azog's son was seemingly just as bad when it came to brutality, and equally skilled with his father when it came down to combat. Add his size onto that and you have a killing machine._

_The orc's lips pulled back to reveal an ugly jagged smile as he pulled his blade back to swing again at the dwarf's feet, trying to take the ground from underneath him._

_Despite his brutish strength, Fíli's smaller body was faster when he hopped over the blade and quickly jumped backwards._

_They clashed for what seemed like eternity before Fíli found Bolg's sword, slashing at an upward angle to take off his head._

_The dwarf tried to counter, ducking underneath Bolg's arm with his blade aiming to stab the orc in the side, only to get a steel covered elbow to the back of his head sending him sprawling to the ground on his stomach._

_He quickly turned over, grabbing a random shield from the body of a fallen elf to block an on-coming attack._

_The tip of Bolg's sword came through the shield before it stopped, Fíli let out a breath realizing the sword appeared more stuck than Bolg thought because he struggled to pull for a moment._

_Taking this as an advantage, Fíli braced one foot on the back of the steel before giving it a rough kick as he let go._

_'Praise Mahal!' Fíli thought as the blade was wrenched from Bolg's grasp when the shield was knocked away from the impact._

_Both the shield and the Bolg's sword landed about ten feet away._

_Apparently the orc didn't need a weapon as his hand darted down and grabbed a handful of golden hair to hoist him off the ground, before he could reach for his own sword._

_Before he knew it he was hurled through the air, and sent crashing into the side of some of the ruined building structures, where he hit with a very audible thud before he slid to the ground, almost falling off the top of the old stairway._

_Fíli's head was spinning from the impact he'd made with the stone, he felt unconsciousness calling his name as he struggled to keep his eyes open, even as Bolg's figure was soon looming above his own._

_“Arrrrgggh!!!”_

_Fíli's eyes snapped open when at the sound of an furious angry war cry that sounded an awful lot like..._

_'Aule! Oh please Kili no, get out of here. I told you to run!'_

_A strangled cry came from above him and sure enough, there was Kili standing above him._

_It wasn't Kili who had cried out in pain however._

_Bolg's right hand released a knife that fell to the floor, and Fíli realized that Kili had stabbed the orc straight through his right shoulder._

_“By my life, you will not take my brother. Do you hear me orc scum!?” Kili's angry voice echoed through his ears._

_Fíli tried to get himself to his hands and knees, but as soon as he moved a searing hot pain shot through his left side._

_Gritting his teeth, thinking of the possibility of broken ribs he reached down and he had to admit he was surprised to see crimson soaking his hand._

_Had he been stabbed?_

_'I didn't feel anything...'_

_He didn't have time to investigate when the orc sneered at his brother's comment, his left arm whipping upward to deliver a backhand to Kili's face that knocked him to the ground from the sheer force behind the blow._

_Fíli's couldn't help the panic that started to rise immediately, the fool should have run. “Kili!”_

_Kili's sword had remained in the orc's body, and Fíli watched helplessly as Bolg took that moment to wrench the blade out of his shoulder and used it to stab Kili through his lower abdomen._

_A strangled cry erupted from his lips, and Fíli's eyes widened considerably when his brother fell to the ground beside him._

_Bolg let out a sickening laugh, as forced himself to rise letting out a choked scream at that sharp pain that filled his body, before kneeling over his brother's fallen body._

_Legolas and Tauriel had reached the third level by now, and quickly spotted the two princes on the ground they immediately moved to intercept the giant gundabad orc._

_Legolas seemed to be getting Bolg's attention more and more, wanting to settle the score he'd had with the elf from what happened in Laketown._

_Fíli let out a relieved breath when the orc decided to clash with the elves, he sent Tauriel an appreciating nod as she knelt beside him and Kili._

_Tears flowed freely from the blond's eyes as he gathered Kili into his arms, holding him tenderly against him._

_“Y-You stupid stubborn dwarf Kee! I-I told you … to run, Kili!” he cried desperately, while Tauriel started to put pressure on the wound._

_If he had not of been injured, Fíli would have clocked his brother upside the head when Kili responded with a shit-eating grin._

_“Oy! I-I did! I ran up the stairs!” he cried, grimacing slightly._

_Fíli opened his mouth to berate him again, but it just hung open not quite knowing what to say._

_He couldn't help it, a strangled sob escaped his throat as he stared back down at him, Kili. His baby brother._

_'I failed you Kili.' the thoughts in his head brought the tears forth and they were soon springing from his blue eyes in pints._

_Kili's grin fell, and he let out a huff before a pained smile replaced it._

_“No... don't cry Fíli.” Kili whispered, reaching a hand up to wipe his brother's tears away._

_“Hush!” Fíli hissed sharply, before he sniffed before leaning forward and kissing his temple, “Men lananubukhs menu.”_

_Tauriel watched the exchange curiously, but gave her attention to Fíli when the dwarf addressed her suddenly._

_“My lady, Take him elsewhere? Make sure he's safe, please?” he asked hesitantly._

_The elf-maiden took a look at her comrade who was dealing with Bolg just fine, then back at the wounded dwarf beside her and nodded, scooping Kili up in her arms with ease before raising to her full height looking down at him._

_“What about you?”_

_Fili didn't reply, he just shook his head and gave her a smile. “Someone's got to babysit my uncle.”_

_Kili let out a loud 'Ha' at the comment about their uncle before going quiet once more._

_“I'll be alright.” Fili urged, though honestly he was trying to reassure himself mostly as he forced himself to a stand._

_With one last nod of acknowledgment, Tauriel took off and the young dwarf turned around to figure out which direction Thorin and Azog had disappeared in._

_The orcs were thinning out, they'd been fighting most of the day and he actually questioned as to if his uncle still stood at this point._

_Forcing his feet to move he started wandering through the ice covered plains, now slaying orcs only if he was attacked first, if anything else he was trying to avoid them. At this point he was wanting nothing more than to be certain if their king was still alive or not._

_Finally he found them, they were at a rather desolate spot their battle having dragged out about a mile's distance away from the main areas of carnage._

_Darting into the remnants of a weathered structure of what appeared to be one of the demolished homes in what was once Dale, he hid behind the wall making a scout for any archers or spear throwing units in the cliffs._

_The thing with orcs is rarely do not fight dirty. Half of the time all their moves were dirty tricks and he was more than certain that Azog would have an archer ready if he needed to take Thorin out immediately._

_Sure enough he saw one lone orc amongst the cliff above Azog, bow in hand._

_Keeping his composure, Fíli poked his head back out of the structure remembering he'd seen some slain elves amongst the corpses outside._

_Needless to say, with the army numbers and the amount of corpses that littered the ground for miles, it wasn't difficult to find a weapon if one needed to.  
That was the case when like he'd been hoping, one of the two elves, a black haired elf-maiden, had a bow and a quiver not too far from where she lay._

_Approaching the corpse quietly he resisted the urge to vomit, as he pulled the bow from her hand._

_Green eyes stared up at the sky, glassy and the light void of any existence._

_Fíli closed his eyes taking a shaky breath he reached a hand down toward the she-elf's face to press her eyelids closed, before he picked up the quiver._

_He retreated back into the structure, to the back where there was a gap from years of weathering stone._

_Loading an arrow, he positioned his stance as he pulled back the draw string, taking a brief moment to clear his head._

_Whilst Kili had a knack for his shooting skills, he like Thorin was at an average skill. It's funny too because Thorin taught Kili how to shoot and he became better at it than their uncle was._

_'Even though the stubborn dwarf wouldn't admit to it.' Fíli thought with a small smile when the memory popped in his head._

_Taking a deep breath, he released squeezing his eyes shut afterwards, praying that his arrow would make its mark._

_Hearing a loud screech echo in the air, he poked his head up and didn't see the orc._

_'Yes!'_

_Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and before could react he felt a sharp pain in the center of his throat and he fell backward hitting the wall with some force as he lost his balance, he heard a deep rumbling sound and the ground was shaking!_

_Then it all went black._

**~XXX~**

Bard let out a relieved sigh when the gates of Erebor came into view after he'd trudged up the side if the mountain carrying the young dwarf prince in his arms the entire way as he did so.

Fíli had fallen asleep again not long after they escaped from the ruins of Dale, managing to finally pass through the city without interruptions.

_'Now all that is left is to walk up these stairs! Yay stairs! So many stairs, why did the dwarves make so many damn stairs just to enter a castle? Sophisticated dwarves, creators why?'_

He glanced down, when Fíli twitched in his restless sleep, his lips moving in a raspy mumble of something.

_'He must be dreaming.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) “Men lananubukhs menu.”  
> I believe from what I've looked up with the Dwarrow Scholar dictionary, is "I love you" again as in previous notes I MIGHT BE WRONG!!!
> 
> 2.) The 'run / run stairs' conversation bewteen Fili and Kili was inspired by someone on tumblr, I'll find the blog and link it in here when I find it so I can use it as a source.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Fili insight

_Silence. That was the only thing that met his ears when he finally came to._  
_**'Why is it so quiet? Am I dead?'** _

_Deciding to play by chance, the dwarf took a shuttering breath before opening his eyes._

_It was mostly darkness, nearly pitch black except he saw a rays of moonlight through a steel grate and beyond that a gaping hole in stone._

_He was in a confined area too, or well as confined as it could be for dwarf of his height, or dwarf in general._

_There were tall stone walls before the big gaps or holes, there was no way he could climb that._

_**'Where am I? I don't understand what's happened.'**_

_He had been in the battlefield, he'd hidden in a building, or the remains of a building. How was it that now he was in a some sort of pit?_

_Shifting his body to sit up, he felt a weird tugging feeling in the center of his throat and he realized suddenly that he felt a stinging pain in his neck._

_Casting his eyes around, he suddenly spotted an object protruding from his own body._

_**'What on Earth....?'**_

_He studied it for a moment, eyes starting to focus when he noticed the silhouette of an arrow fletching at the end of the object._

_Becoming vaguely aware of the warm trickling of blood, his eyes blew open wide._

_**'Oh Mahal....'** _

_Shaking fingers reached up to his throat, and his fingers met the wooden shaft of an arrow._

_Immediately he ceased all movement._

_**'I took an arrow to the throat...? Shouldn't I be dead? It is clearly night now, the last thing I remember is seeing the mid afternoon sun. That means I've been here for a while...'**_

_Fili's mind was racing a mile a minute, he couldn't believe this, either he was extremely lucky or god was playing some sick joke upon him._

_A faint but still shrill screech of an orc off in the distance made him determine that he was indeed still alive._

_He started trying to think, what would Thorin have me do? What would HE do?_

_**'Wound.'** _

_His fingers inspected the injury, trying to determine how far the arrow was in because he didn't have any major breathing problems at the moment._

_**'Should I cut it?'**_

_Feeling at his hip for one of his knives, the young dwarf was pleased to still find it in it's sheath._

_So he had a knife, what else did he have? What else could he use?_

_That last one caused him to scrunch his nose in confusion, he still hadn't figured out how he'd ended up in this place._

_Checking over his environment once again, Fili paused and did a double check when his eyes befell an old tapestry that he knew he had seen in the building he was in before._

_**'Wait a minute...'**_

_He studied the floor, now acknowledging all the broken rubble that he was laying among._

_**'The floor collapsed? This could have been a cellar if there was a lower level. That's not unheard of. What is unheard of is not inventing stairs to get back out. Then again, men wouldn't need stairs for this...'**_

_There wasn't much to salvage there hadn't been to begging with._

_**'That's it then.'**_

_With that last thought Fili grabbed his dagger, running his fingers that still remained upon the arrow shaft along the fine wood trying to measure where exactly he thought he should cut the rest off._

_After several moments of debate, Fili placed the blade of his knife against the shaft about an inch and a half from where the arrow head embedded into his throat._

_He knew he could injure himself further from just the slightest wrong movement, sweat started to bead at his brow and his hand holding the dagger trembled slightly._

_**'Close your eyes Fili, if you do it wrong it'll be just like falling asleep. Just keep them closed.'**_

_Taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he let the dagger pass through the arrow until it met armor clad fingers that had been holding the shaft steady._

_**'Mahal be praised.'** _

_Letting out a breath of relief he lowered both arms and sat there for a moment._

_Thorin, had he fallen? He had watched his uncle, the king fight Azog alone, and thinking back to how he handled Bolg. He was disappointed in himself._

_The first time Thorin had spoke of the quest to Erebor, to their mother, he had been in the room at the time, Kili was off on a hunt._

_He remembered seeing the fire in their mother's eyes as she hissed at Thorin to be silent, because she had a theory on where the conversation was going and if that was the case the answer was no._

_Thorin had been confused with her attitude, he had been asking if she approved of it or not._

_She had turned to her brother, her eyes were sympathetic and sad._

_He had watched the exchange between them silently, waiting so he wouldn't interrupt._

_When Thorin asked her again, and she replied Fili had caught the silent plea shining within her eyes brown eyes when she said 'Of course I would like to go home.'_

_That was when he had asked if he and Kili could go along._

_Of course their mother had flipped tables, no seriously she flipped the kitchen table, over the words that had left his mouth._

_Thorin had refused at first, but he managed to coax him later on, and then Thorin was left to convince their mother that he would keep them safe._

_Dis was less than thrilled, but they themselves had never seen the place that their Uncle and she had called home. So she reluctantly allowed them to go with Thorin._

_Thinking back to the begging in their mother's eyes when she answered Thorin again he let out a sigh._

_That had always confused him._

_As they were growing up their mother rarely spoke of Erebor and never was she one to start a conversation about the dragon._

_Yet the times when she would speak of Erebor, it was always good things, so real, so warm and emotional._

_Then of course there were some times when she spoke of the life she knew even though all the good things were spoken again, in her voice both Kili and himself, could tell that her thoughts and emotions were different, they could hear the sorrow in her voice._

_The longing to see her homeland again, to see Thorin crowned, thinking about Thror and Thrain,, and the pain that she had suffered when they were forced to flee the mountain, all of it evident._

_He knew that she'd wanted to go back to Erebor for a long time, so why was there that pleading in her eyes._

_Never had he understood, until today._

_Dis had wanted Thorin to stay, to stop obsessing over Erebor, stop searching for Thrain._

 _Not because she didn't want to go home or love her father, but because she was more worried about Thorin not being able to move on and appreciate the life that they had then._  
She had moved on and accepted the life she now lived, she had two children and one brother remained by her side. 

_That was more than satisfying for her, even if sometimes the past did make her sad, she was happy._

_His thoughts were interrupted when he suddenly heard the orc again, or more orcs._

_**'Mahal's damned boots! They're coming this way! I need to get out of here!'**_

_Fili took a deep breath and started to sit up, but the action caused a searing white hot pain to shoot through his side and he grit his teeth in order to keep moving until he was actually in a sitting position._

_His vision blurred, and he felt a wave of nausea swarming his head from the sudden light-headed spell due to the new difference in elevation._

_The young dwarf looked back down at the ground he sat on and he couldn't help but swallow when he realized he had been laying amongst a pool of his own blood._

_Investigating further the prince placed a hand against the left side in-between where his chain mail fastened, and a choked cry shot from his mouth at the blinding pain he felt just from the lightest touch._

_When he pulled his hand back, crimson coated his palm and seeped between his fingers._

**'Well that's not good.'**

_He needed to figure out how bad that injury was, he'd much rather die knowing he did all he could to keep himself alive rather than find out 'Oh Fili lad, you could have just stopped the bleeding.' when he entered the halls of their fathers._

_Quickly he undid the fastenings on both sides of his armor and let the light-weight chain-mail clink to the ground._

_Only after he'd stripped the rest of his clothing off, was he actually able to get a good look at this injury._

_There was a long jagged scratch that ran from the start of his hip, and half-way up his ribcage before it ended._

_No, it wasn't even a scratch it was too big for it to be considered 'a scratch' it was a fucking gouge._

_**'That's a lot of blood...'** _

_If not Thorin, the dwarves of Erebor would send search parties out to find him. The battle has ended and they'd want all bodies accounted for, all he had to do is stay alive until they come._

_So in other words, he had to get his lazy bum in gear and figure out what to do about this before he bled to death._

_Blue eyes searched among the rubble and he was able to spot two flimsy old pieces of timber, and small boards from what looked like an old window, across the room._

_Glancing down at the lethal gash once again, he felt a lump form in his throat, and no he wasn't talking about the fucking arrow._

_He didn't have anything for stitches, and he'd never done stitches himself._

_**'Aule, what in Mordor's name am I supposed to do?!'**_

_A brooding cloud seemed to hover above his head as he grabbed his dagger and slammed the handle down upon the stone in frustration._

_**'Wait...'** he thought quietly, eyeing the steel blade in his hand, then letting his eyes turn back to the wooden fragments in the ruble. _

_**'Oh please....'**_

_Fili bite his lip, hearing the howl of a random warg that was still off in the distance._

_Going through his options again, and finally he concluded that he could either do nothing and bleed to death, or he could make a fire and try to quietly cauterize the wound closed._

_He needed to make up his mind, because if they brought wargs, they'd smell his blood right away, and they'd likely hear him._

_**~Flashback~**_

_**They were making preparations for the quest to Erebor, their uncle and Balin had been sending them all over town retrieving things, and now with it well past nightfall, both he and Kili needed to talk to Thorin privately for a moment.**_

_**Having seen candle light, they strolled into the family room, hoping to find him there and were a little surprised to find their mother sitting in the window staring outside into the dark of the night.**_

_**Fili took in the image before him, and he couldn't help but feel immense guilt all the sudden.**_

_**Baffled by his brother's sudden change in mood, Kili shot him a questioning look that soon turned to worry, when the golden braided mustache slumped as the smile Fili'd been wearing when they came in the room fell.**_

_**Dis was wearing a robe over he small clothes which was not uncommon when she slept as it was, and her dark hair was down in a messy fuss.**_

_**Fili felt his throat constrict, he could see the sorrowful expression that she wore from her reflection on the window.**_

_**He stayed glued to his spot while his brother stepped forward, approaching her from behind quietly before he spoke, “Mother? What's wrong?”**_

_**She jumped, clearly startled, and turned to look at him with a scolding glare.**_

_**“Kili! By the name of Durin do not sneak up on your mother like that! How can you have gotten so tall and yet I can hardly hear you walk into a room!?”**_

_**“I'm sorry.” He shot her one of those goofy smiles of his and the sight of that forced a sad smile to her face in response.**_

_**Kili's smile fell now too, now noticing the redness of her eyes and the still fresh staining of tears.**_

_**“Mum... why are you crying? Is someone sick?”**_

_**Fili's eyes shot up at the words, taking in her appearance more closely.**_

_**“No my child, no one is sick or dying.”**_

_**Dis rose from her seat and approached Kili, until she was standing right in front of him.**_

_**“Kili?” she spoke softly, reaching an arm up to place on the left side of his stubbled face.**_

_**“Yes mother?” he asked, placing one of his hands over hers.**_

_**“Promise me that you will come back home once you have reclaimed Erebor, both of you promise me! Promise me that you will return to me.” she ordered, but to both of them they knew she was in dire need of reassurance.**_

_**Fili felt his throat constrict trying to force back some tears, he would not cry. He wanted to go on this trip, he wanted to see their home and he was is excited to do so.**_

_**“Aw. Of course we will mum! We'll even drag Thorin's royal butt back with us!” he cried sending another grin as he made wild gestures with his free arm.**_

_**When Fili didn't speak, Dis turned to him expectantly and when he still didn't respond a look of hurt and concern crossed her features again.**_

_**“Fili?”**_

_**He still said nothing and instead slowly walked to the window to take the seat his mother had occupied not even moments ago, his head bowed slightly.**_

_**Kili sent his brother a frustrated look, this was not the time for giving their mother ill attitude she was afraid of being left alone and that one or all of them would perish in fire! She didn't need this right now.**_

_**Just as he opened his mouth his Dis placed a gentle hand on his bicep, “Kili, love will you go down to the Smith's and check up on your uncle? He's overly-late tonight, make sure he's okay?”**_

_**Kili paused, having to take a moment to think over he words to realize she wanted privacy for the two of them, because Thorin could take care of himself.**_

_**“Aye, and I shall check the pub as well if he is not there.” he chirped, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek which she returned.**_

_**With her youngest gone from the room, Dis turned around and approached Fili who still sat silently.**_

_**As she got closer she could visibly see her son start trembling beneath her worried gaze.**_

_**She knelt down in front of the window where he sat upon the ledge, trying to get him to meet her eyes, but with the angle he held his head she couldn't do so.**_

_**“Fili?” she beckoned in that gentle tone only a mother had.**_

_**“I will do everything in my power to ensure that we come back, if not both, one of us will.” he said quietly, and oh did he ever sound broken.**_

_**Slowly he lifted his head to meet her gaze, and she could see tears gathering amongst those pretty blue eyes.**_

_**She was confused, he was the one who asked to go on this quest and she was permitting it, why was he so sad?**_

_**“Oh Fili, my son what's the matter? You do not have to go, you can stay here-”**_

_**He shook his head quickly and cut her off.**_

_**“It isn't that. I dislike leaving you here all alone for such a long time. I didn't mean to upset you, I was not thinking when I asked this of Thorin. Who will keep you company? We do not have dad anymore, we are going with uncle, and uncle is going clear across Middle Earth. Who-”**_

_**Dis stood awestruck as she listen to her son ramble on and on about 'who is going to do this' 'what if this' all the way from 'who is going to make your afternoon tea.' to 'who is going to help with the garden' 'who is going to run the smith' and he just kept going, gushing like a waterfall.**_

_**Finally, she couldn't even contain herself and burst into a fit of laughter.**_

_**Fili huffed, feeling offended and a bit hurt at the response.**_

_**“It is not funny mum-” his voice caught in his throat when he was pulled into a tight embrace.**_

_**“Oh Fili, my sweet, boy. Sometimes your selflessness surprises me, but then I look at you again and and I just see your father standing before me. You can be as brave and fierce as a lion, and then you can be so easily wounded for the emotions of other people around you.”**_

_**A couple silent tears trickled down his face onto her neck, as she ran her fingers through golden hair.**_

_**“Fili my love, I am not upset with you for making this choice. I love you and your brother more than you could possibly imagine, and I am sure I'll be fine. It is going to be quiet and dare I say it boring without Ered Luin's little trouble makers causing mischief but I will be here waiting for you.”**_

_**“I love you too, we both do. I just don't want you to be disappoin-”**_

_**“Someone's going to miss my nagging?” she commented with a smirk.**_

_**“Aye, it appears so.”**_

_**She pulled back to place a kiss to his temple before pulling him back into another hug, running her hands through golden waves.**_

_**“My sweet boy. I could never be disappointed in you.”**_

_**~End Flashback~**_

_Fili pondered over the conversation they had with their mother for a moment, and that was all it took for him to get on his hands and knees and start to crawl as quietly as possible to retrieve all the wooden debris that he could find to make a small fire._

_It took a few minutes and oh Mahal the effort he was putting into it was making him even more drowsy, but finally he managed to situate himself in the corner of the room, the remnants of part of the still standing pieces of the floor covered him from this angle._

_Shadows cast down over the ruins as several orcs walked past the old structure, Fili curled into himself and pressed himself against the shadowed wall he was up against trying to make as little noise as possible while he waited._

_It seemed like it took forever but finally everything went silent, besides the loud snoring that consisted of growls, snorts, grunts and all sorts of horrendous noises._

_Still no signs of any wargs yet, and he hadn't' seen any shadows that had belonged to the large beasts so he still had time, he had to move quickly though._

_Kneeling above the small pile of wood he had set up beside him, he grabbed a rock and his dagger, using both to send sparks down onto the dry wood, after several attempts he finally got a small blaze started._

_His eyes were already starting to water, he's not unfamiliar with the agony of cauterizing a wound._

_One time there was an accident on a hunting trip, the game had gotten spooked and in the process one of the deadly antlers on the stag had nailed him in the gut._

_His uncle had cauterized the wound while Kili reluctantly restrained him, wanting nothing more than to be able to take his pain away and be gentle even though the action had to be done._

_With a shaky breath he set the steel blade into the fire, and sat down with his back against the cold wall, he couldn't help but shiver as he also realized how chilly the night was._

_Fili licked his chapped lips briefly, eyes constantly darting above to check for any eyes that might be watching._

_He waited quietly, as he let the blade heat up, but he was by no means patient as he wrung his hands nervously._

_**'I have to do this. I will do this, I need to at least make sure one of us returns to her.'**_

_Only when the metal was glowing white from the intensity of the flames, did Fili remove it._

_The young dwarf took a shaky inhale as he identified where exactly he wanted to start sealing the wound, it didn't take him long to identify either._

_He pressed his back firmly against the wall as lowered the hot iron and pressed it into wounded flesh._

_Instincts kicked in, and of course the first thing he could think of before he had time to stop himself was to 'stop hurting himself' and his hand released the dagger which landed against the stone with a loud clatter, and as a loud yelp slipped from his lips, causing him to clamp one hand firmly over mouth to try to stifle any further noise._

_Azure eyes widened considerably when he heard black speech and some sleepy in-dignified grunts from an orc._

_**'No, no... please.'** _

_He waited for the sound of footsteps, but instead he received silence and an irritated grunt before he heard snoring again, he didn't know for sure if it was the same orc though, there has been so many._

_Fili decided to wait a few more minutes before casting his eyes to down to the stone floor, he needed something to keep himself from making too much of a racket._

_His eyes caught the broken arrow shaft that he had cut off from his wounded throat._

_**'I can use that.'** _

_He picked it up and leaned his head back, situating the fine wood between his jaws before he picked up the hot knife again._

_**'Don't think, just do it quick.'** _

_With that last thought he started again, placing the searing metal against the open wound, biting down firmly on the makeshift gag._

_A shrill whine escaped but thank Mahal it was considerably quieter than what he did earlier, partially because he was biting down as hard as he could in order to keep it that way._

_The sizzling sound of flesh burning made him want to puke, Aule help him it was the worst pain he' ever felt again! And this time by his own hand._

_He heard the howl of a warg in the distance and he jumped when he soon heard the trampling feet and the beast around the campsite._

_**'Fuck!'** his mind screamed, as he quickened his pace, trying to keep as quiet as possible, using one hand to cauterize and the other to quickly grab his tunic and start to snuff out the fire._

__A couple moments later and he was done.__

__His victory was short lived though, when he soon saw the body of a warg wandering above the remains of the building, clearly sniffing at his scent.__

__**'No, I was so close!'** he thought in defeat, fresh tears of both pain and terror starting to spring forth from his eyes.__

__Yellow eyes and a massive head were peering into the ruins and he sat as still as possible, and silent as a mouse watching the warg check the area.__

__The last thing he remembered before blacking out, was being stunned when the animal turned and retreated at the call of its rider.__

__Shortly afterward was when he woke up tired and groggy as hell, and it wasn't a day later til Bard stumbled across him.__

__

**~Present~**

Bard watched the gate to the mountain kingdom open and a couple dwarves rushed out. 

One of them being the big one with the tattoos, what was his name? Balin? No that was his brother, Dwalin, yes Dwalin. 

The other one was the one who he'd known as Bofur, who immediately seemed to tear up just by the sight of who he carried in his arms.

“Mahal's Gates! Fili!” he cried, and was immediately by Bard's side, peering up at the man desperately as he held Thorin's heir in his broad arms. 

“He's alive.” he announced, to the two dwarves. 

Bofur was left gaping but Dwalin let out a sigh before regaining his composure.

Bard knelt down beside the two dwarve so he could hand the young prince over to them, he also wanted to make his severe injuries noted.

“He's okay right now, but he is wounded, one of the injuries is capable of becoming lethal so I would advise taking care of it immediately.” he said, tilting Fili's head up slightly so they had a better view of the arrow fragment.

Both dwarves stared in shock, mouths agape.

“He also cauterized a wound himself, so it might be checked just in case.” he added, looking at the larger dwarf who nodded at the information.

“Thank you Master Bard, I can take him.” he gruffed.

The man nodded, and handed the golden dwarf over to his friend before standing. “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” 

“Aye, that we will.” Bofur replied, gratefulness saturated his voice, he honestly had given up hope that they'd even find him.

With that, he turned on his heel and started back to Dale to check on his own people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fucking shit that was a long ass chapter to write!!! You better love me now, damn right you do! lol jk
> 
> I told you I split it up into two parts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a period of resting we hear something of Thorin woooooo

The next time Fili opened his eyes he was a bit confused to find that he was laying in a bed.

He took in his surroundings, seeing a dark room with a single lit candle across the room, the room itself clearly hadn't been cleaned in years, but it had been straightened up a bit.

 _'Erebor? This is one of the bedrooms I think, we didn't get to tour the entire castle.'_

Fili suddenly became aware of a weight draped across his midsection and he visibly tensed when he saw an arm when he investigated it further.

He swallowed the lump in his throat when he spotted a scar on the lower forearm and the tan-line from an archery glove.

So many emotions started running through the young dwarf when he rolled over find his brother's pale sleeping face. 

_'Bard was right, he did make it...'_

His brother's stubbled face was extremely pale, especially for Kili but he was breathing normally. 

_'I wonder if Thorin is as lucky? I suppose I'll find out, but in a bit I still feel exhausted as it is.'_

Kili much like himself had been left shirtless, due to injuries and bandages that had frequently needed to be changed, he could feel bandages all the way from Kili's upper pectorals to the bottom of his ribcage just above his hips.

 _'Which means he must have been stabbed after Bolg attacked us. He and Tauriel must have run into some trouble.'_

There was also some bandages on the left side of his face covering his ear and temple. 

He was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed chocolate brown eyes open, but he did notice the shaky hand that was rested on the side of his face. 

Blue eyes darted up to stare into heavy lidded brown. 

Kili looked so tired, exhausted, and just broken that Fili felt his eyes starting to burn.

He didn't want to cry anymore, he was supposed to be strong for him, he was the older brother. 

The younger dwarf seemed to pick up on his brother's distress so he weakly tugged at Fili's shoulder wanting him to move closer, his body was still far to drained to use any physical force successfully.

Fili complied, getting the hint and it wasn't but a few moments later that he was being held against his brother's chest. 

Kili buried his face in waves of gold letting out a small mournful sob that was so scratchy from his dry throat that it made him cringe. 

The very moment Fili was positive that he had just felt tears fall onto one of his ears he pulled away to stare at his little brother's face.  
He was crying, and oh that sadness upon his young face struck every string in his heart. 

_'I know what will make him laugh.'_ Fili thought, a grin spreading across his face.

Fili opened his mouth and started to speak only for a scratchy hoarse wheeze to come out instead. 

Blue eyes widened considerably at this, and he saw Kili's face become increasingly sad the tears seemed to multiply.

Reaching an unsteady hand to his neck he felt bandages layered upon it, he started to think back to what had happened.

 _'Oh Mahal... please tell me I haven't lost-'_

Fili's thoughts were cut off when Kili suddenly jerked him forward against his chest again, holding him tightly having already known where his thoughts were heading. 

He was trying to register all of this, he was confused. 

Kili's shoulders were heaving, and the agonized sobs that escaped his brother troubled him greatly. 

How was he supposed to tell him it was okay? Was it okay? Were they okay? Wait, he wanted to know what the hell happened to Thorin. Right now. Immediately.

“M-M'sorrry Fee... I-I'm so sorry....” Kili's broken voice reached his ears. 

Fili didn't know why, but he felt those words held something grave and he somehow knew that Kili was talking about his injuries.

He tilted his face to look into Kili's face when he started to speak again but had to stop due to a hiccup.

“Y-You... you can't....” his brother couldn't even get the whole sentence out before he burst into tears again.

The door suddenly wooshed open and they both strained to turn.

“Oh my Fili!” an all too familiar voice cried.

Fili jerked back from his brother, confused as he turned to face the voice that had called to him. 

There was their mother running to the bedside as fast as she could until she was able to pull him into an eager and very much missed embrace.

Kili did not look surprised to see her, which even if he could speak, that would have stunned Fili silent itself.

_'You twit, have you not realized that we have not seen our mother in almost an entire year!'_  


Fili couldn't help it, god he'd missed her so damn much. After everything that they'd seen, they'd been through he didn't care to stop himself from weeping into his mother's shoulder. To Mordor with pride.

It was a good long while before Dis finally pulled back and stared at him through teary brown eyes, she quickly caught his confusion.

“Oh my child, you've been constantly resting for almost two weeks. Óin and Lord Elrond both agreed your wounds were healed enough to take you off of sedatives two days ago, it has taken you some time to get them out of your system. You lost a lot of blood when the rest of the arrow was removed, you started to have trouble breathing, and you got extremely sick when fever hit you. I got here two days ago shortly before they took you off the sleeping aids.” she gushed all at once. 

_'Two weeks?! Elrond? Elves? Here?'_

Loud metal clad footsteps echoed in the hall before coming into the room through the still open door.

He'd been hoping it to be Thorin but instead Fili seemed to be the only one surprised when Dain Ironfoot walked in. 

Dis bit her lip, shifting her gaze from her oldest to her youngest who looked away, unable to hold her gaze.

“Young Fili you've awakened, have they told you?” he inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Both Kili and Fili flinched when their mom slowly rose to her feet, staring at Dain with murderous brown eyes. 

_'Why does she look so angry? She's always told us good things about Dain... yet she looks like she is about ready to gut him._

“Get out. He does not need you pressuring him right when he wakes up, leave us. ”

“A decision needs to be made Dis.”

Dain strode over to stand in front of her, his frame towering over her but she didn't flinch.

Instead she squared her shoulders, her voice starting to raise as her hot temper started to come out.

“I know this cousin! I know that one needs to be made soon, and will be. But I'll be damned if I make him choose to rush into something without understanding the situation!” 

Kili slunk down into bed, half-hiding under the covers which made Fili reluctantly smirk, their mother's wrath was truly one of the most horrifying things ever. 

Durin's sake, Kili fought in a war, fought man sized spiders, even faught Bolg without batting an eye, yet here his brother was slinking under sheets from their mother. 

It was rather amusing.

“He is Thorin's heir!” Dain roared furiously.

“He's my son Dain. You best remember that.” she growled, turning her back to the other dwarf.

“We're not done-” Dain snarled catching their mother's wrist in his gauntlet covered hand.

Dis narrowed her eyes, and Fili braced himself when he heard skin cracking skin when she delivered a brutal slap to Dain's face.

Both brother's jumped at this, Fili went deathly pale and Kili well, he sank further under the sheets. 

He let go of her immediately, spitting blood on the ground before glaring at the dwarrow female.

“Leave us.” she spat once more, eyes almost daring him to touch her again. 

After a tense stare down, finally Dain huffed and strode out the door still silently fuming.

Once they were alone again, Dis finally turned back to face him, and Fili could see fresh tears running down her cheeks. 

“Fili. Some things happened while you were resting.”


	8. Chapter 8

It was well passed nightfall and Fili found himself sitting at the foot of the bed with his legs dangling over the edge staring at a cracked tile in the floor.

He couldn't sleep, his thoughts were too troubled. 

Fili couldn't believe what his mother had told him almost an hour ago.

Thorin? Coma? This simply could not be.

His Uncle was strong, possibly the strongest dwarf he's ever known. For crying out loud he was King Under the Mountain., King of Erebor. 

Fili glanced over his shoulder when he felt movement and a small moan from the body behind him. 

Kili was sprawled across the bed and it was kind of funny, he understood now what Bilbo had meant when he said that he and Kili take up an almost unreal amount of space when they slept side by side. 

**Memory Sequence**

_'If I may, are you two aware that you take up more space when you sleep than any of the other dwarves here?'_

_He dead-panned and looked to his brother who returned the gesture with eyes that held the same questioning expression._

_'Including Bombur?' he asked softly._

_'Especially Bombur.' Bilbo had confirmed._

_Looking to his brother he saw a devious glint in his lively brown eyes, even though he put on his best 'Fili we need to get Uncle Thorin to save us from this evil monster' scared puppy face that had Fili biting his tongue, that face only meant trouble!_

_If it weren't for that playful troublesome gleam he'd be worreid, and as it was only a handful of people could recognize if Kili was playing or not. Namely Thorin, their mother, Dwalin, and of course himself._

_'Mister Boggins, I will not even ask as to why you were watching us sleep.'_

_'Aye, Kili is barely of age. Just turned so last year.'_

_'Brother I think you should loan me a couple knives that I can sleep with. I could have sworn that was just a snake that had crawled under the blankets last night. Now I'm not so certain.'_

_Thorin had also stayed up a bit longer than normal, he actually had the night watch but Kili and him hadn't been able to sleep so they stayed up conversing with the half-ling._

_Their uncle made a very undignified noise, almost like an offended gasp and when they looked up at the source of said noise, they saw that scandalized expression quickly being forced to a disapproving scowl._

_Kili leaned in closer to the two of them, lowering his voice just so they could hear.  
'Bilbo he is still available you know. You two would make a really good set of lovebirds you would.' _

_Leave it to his brother to make him choke on the smoke from his pipe when he started to laugh, loud racking coughs rose from his throat and his eyes watered._

_Eventually his coughing fit turned into roaring laughter, and he had to lean on his brother's taller frame to try to keep himself from falling to the ground._

_Bilbo's face had flushed dark red and they could still see their uncle's disapproving scowl from across the glow of the fire._

_'Well excuse me for not having nothing to watch besides the fire while on the night watch!' the hobbit cried exasperated, trying desperately to get back on t he previous subject rather than the one the dwarf-lings had set up._

**End Memory Sequence**

Fili smiled sadly at the memory, focusing again on Kili's larger figure after having dealt with such a bloody battle nearly losing his brother and possibly already lost his uncle he now realized that he had this constant pang of fear.

Before the Battle of the Five Armies it seemed like it had been forever ago that Kili was born, or their uncle told them that their father wasn't coming home. 

Now, after enduring such a horrifying event, Fili realized that those times in truth were not that long ago. 

Now he could be found asking himself when Kili had grown taller than him? When did Thorin's hair start to sport graying streaks... and why in Durin's name had he wanted to go on this quest?

After everything they'd been through to reclaim Erebor, all the tales they were told, if you asked the golden-haired dwarf now he would tell you that the stories were false. 

This quest brought nothing but pain and suffering, and the treasure... the Dragon Smaug.... the people of Lake Town...

_**'Poor souls.'**_ Balin's voice echoed inside his mind. 

He wanted to go home, back to Ered Luin but now he wasn't sure if that was an option if Thorin was unable to take the crown. 

Even though the young dwarf knew his mother would never jest about such a matter he was still partially in denial. 

The fact that his mother was here as it was and so quickly at that told him something was wrong.

Dain's brief spat with Dis was another thing that told him something was obviously wrong.

If he was understanding the situation correctly, the decision that needed to be made was if he would accept the crown or not. 

He was surprised it was even offered to him to be honest, with his injury that is. 

It still was not clear whether or whether not he'd be able to speak again, and in his personal opinion if Oin was so unsure that he'd seek the help of elves the chances didn't seem very high. 

'What is a kingdom without a voice to speak for it?' 

Fili became vaguely aware of the burning behind his eyes when they welled up with tears. 

_**'I will not hide behind a wall of stone while others fight our battles for us! It's not in my blood Thorin.'** _

_**'No it is not. We are Sons of Durin, and Durin's Folk do not flee from a fight.'** _

Hot tears cascaded down his cheeks and his shoulders trembled from soft sobs that sounded more like a frantic intake a breath shook his body. 

A fool is what he felt like, he was the one who had insisted they go on the quest in the first place! 

_**'Will you have peace, or war?'** _

_**'I will have war!!'** _

He dragged Kili into this, Thorin and Dis weren't even going to let him go but he had insisted that Kili had every right to. 

Kili almost died, he almost died for him, that wasn't supposed to happen it was supposed to be the other way around.

Now he was stuck here with the choice of accepting the crown, or giving it to Kili or possibly Dain. Given Kili's age he wouldn't be surprised if they chose to go with an older dwarf if Thorin's first heir wouldn't accept. 

Thorin would be so disappointed in him.

_**'Will you follow me...'** _

He wasn't supposed to be the king, not yet he was supposed to be taught first. Thorin was supposed to help him with that!

Arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulders from behind causing him to jump slightly before a chin rested on top his head. 

_**'… one last time.'**_

_'Kili.'_

There was so much he wanted to tell him, and that was the most frustrating thing about this injury because he was still learning iglishmêk more throughly to help him communicate easier. 

_'I don't know what to do.'_

“Fili, I know that its going to be hard but no one is expecting you to take the crown if you do not want to. M'sad about uncle too, but he's not dead there is still a chance he may wake. They just aren't certain when. Whatever you choose, no one will think badly of you for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I need your guys's opinion on something. 
> 
> Since this is going to be mostly Bard / Fili, I was thinking of having Fili have some sort of pre-quest incident in a tavern with a man and he ended up having some not so nice things done to him, and no it's not going to be child smut sorry, I don't dig that be adult so it'd of actually been a few years prior to the quest. 
> 
> Because of this it might spark a reluctance to trust Bard in the beginning of the relationship once I get this pairing a rolling.
> 
> If I did this it'd be in the next chapter, along with my 'Bard spark' sooooo just wanted your guy's input on this please! 
> 
> I personally mainly because I love Fili whump I'm sorry but he's just so damn whumpable you have to pity him sometimes, and frankly I think experimenting with some 'pre-quest' ideas might be interesting. 
> 
> PS: When I wrote this chapter I was actually tearing up! #omgsuchapansy


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter will have semi-graphic non-con rape! BEWARE!!!!!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally just decided to do my idea I had mentioned before. I've been working on it for two days. :/ 
> 
> This chapter was actually inspired by delank_89's Help me!
> 
> Random khuzdul line
> 
> Madrafimi Astu - I will kill you?
> 
>  **EDIT: May 18th, 2015** Added onto chapter

**(Dream / Memory)**

_For the day of his coming of age, honestly it had been extremely dull._

_The celebration had been forced to a later date because Thorin had issues to take care of and had run off to the town next door apparently it was urgent, he wasn't to be back until tomorrow morning, and Kili was sick._

_However that didn't mean he couldn't celebrate by himself, so he'd tugged on his boots and coat so he could head on down to the pub._

_He wouldn't deny that he was feeling disappointed, really disappointed but he didn't want to make Kili nor mum feel guilty so he hadn't said anything._

_It wouldn't have mattered if he did or didn't, he had a feeling their mom had already sensed it._

_Which is how he found himself in this rowdy environment now, sitting quietly in the corner of the pub smoking his pipe in-between sipping on his third ale._

_He'd been here for about an hour he estimated, but he wasn't worried about the time especially if Kili was at home puking his poor guts out._

_Looking across the pub in his buzzed haze, he thought he saw a familiar face, was that Bifur?_

_Before he could even think of thinking the idea of inviting Bifur to a drink through or not, which normally would have been the first thing he'd of done, he had stood from his chair._

_Unfortunately Fili being new to the whole drinking experience, wasn't expecting a wave of dizziness that made his head spin, to bring him toppling to the floor._

_“Are you alright son?” a deep voice asked, and Fili could see the blurry image of large feet in front of him._

_Glancing up Fili saw a man towering above where he lay staring down at him._

_Fili tried to get to his hands and knees but his drunkenness seemed to have more an effect on him than he thought because he felt his head spinning again._

_He felt large hands upon his body, trying to hoist him up by his shoulders and a drunken smile broke out upon his face._

_“M'sorry... I'm new... to this....” he explained with a bit of a giggle._

_The man smiled in understanding but his brown eyes gleamed with something the young dwarf didn't recognize but was too drunk to bother investigating further._

_“I had kind of assumed that already. You'd been sitting there all alone for quite a while. My name is Carahir.” he replied, pulling the dwarf to his feet and rose to his full height again._

_Fili stared up at the man who easily towered over him, he was dressed in apparel he recognized as that of a hunter from the plains._

_He had medium length jet black hair that was starting to go gray at the roots. A scar resided over his right eye and along his bottom jaw. Bright bluish green eyes stared him down and his tall built frame left Fili no doubt that he was not a hunter but a warrior._

_He was possibly in his early fifties? Fili wasn't sure because dwarves aged a lot differently than that of men._

_In all honesty he found the man rather attractive, but he wouldn't dare say such a thing around Thorin. If it were another male dwarf he'd have no problem with it, but a son of man... Thorin may kill him._

_**'Oh god what would he do if I told him I found an elf attractive?'** he mused quietly._

_“Aye, m'brother was busy so I had to come down m'self.”_

_“I was wondering why you had come into the pub by yourself. That answers that I suppose.” Carahir said._

_Fili froze a look of uncertainty quickly gracing his handsome features. Had this man been watching him the entire time he'd been here?_

_“Say, you remind me an awful lot of that dwarf who works down at the smith, what's your name dwarf?”_

_**'That is my cue to leave.' he thought quickly.**_

_Drunk or not Fili still remembered the rule Thorin had set down about revealing his or Kili's status._

_Many people knew that Thorin was the rightful King Under the Mountain, but not many knew of his relationship to him and his brother was, nor that Dis was Thorin's sister._

_The only folk who were aware of it would be the dwarrow that lived around here, and they preferred to keep it that way._

_Of course there were those tiny handful of men that were aware of their ties to Thorin but most of them were 'trustworthy' enough according to their uncle. Mainly the people who worked with or traded with him down at the blacksmith._

_“Thank you for the help, but I think I should head home before I get too drunk to walk.” he spoke calmly._

_Something sparked in the man's eyes that made the young dwarf uneasy and he wasn't sure why._

_The human frowned. “Are you sure?”_

_“Aye, very much so m'fraid.” he offered with a sweet smile._

_“Well alright then. Hope to see you again soon?”_

_Fili forced a grin on his face and nodded slightly, “Aye, I'm sure we will.”_

_That was that, the man wandered off to join a couple friends at a table across the pub._

_After a couple minutes the small group of three departed, Carahir the man he'd met shot a devious smirk his way that sent chills up his spine._

_He blinked once, twice, before deciding that leaving was actually a very good idea._

_A frustrated sigh came out of his mouth when he turned his head and found Bifur had left already._

_Making his way out the door Fili decided he needed to get home as quickly as he could, he had a feeling that man wasn't a person he wanted to mingle with._

_**'Fili quit it you're just being paranoid.' he scolded himself quietly.**_

_Rounding the corner of the building as the direction he needed to go in was to the west the golden-dwarf was walking along the side of the rowdy pub slowing down as he passed the cellar, noting that one of the old wooden doors was wide open and there were broken bottles near it._

_He inspected the open door a little taking a look at the hinges. One of them was broken, which would explain why the door was crooked slightly._

_**'This place is always getting robbed, maybe I should go report this to the bar owner?'** Fili paused in his tracks debating with himself whether or whether not he wanted to do that or not._

_Eventually his better conscious told him to turn around and go tell the owner, letting out an exasperated sigh when he turned around._

_Before he could even start walking again, something snaked around his middle pinning his arms to his sides in the process._

_Having been taken by surprise the sharp gasp freed itself from his throat, as his brain quickly started to register what was going on._

_The arms entrapping his body tightened their hold trying to get a better grip to be sure that the young dwarf's arms were immobile._

_Instincts flared into action immediately and he started to struggle against the offending appendages._

_“Get your hands off me!” he growled viciously twisting his body in every direction trying to squirm out of his attacker's arms._

_It proved to make the assailant's job more difficult yes, but he still managed to hold onto the bucking dwarf._

_He felt his back being forcefully held against what he guessed was a chest, a man's chest judging by the length of the arms that held him. He found the ground lost to him when he was abruptly being lifted off the ground by a couple feet held fast by the arm that kept him close to the human._

_One thing many people knew about dwarrow folk was that you do not ever pick one up off the ground for they do not like the action at all, most of them found it offending as well as humiliating and depending on the dwarf it could very well be the last thing you'd do._

_So of course like most dwarves, Fili went bonkers at receiving such treatment._

_Fili was absolutely livid face tinting a bright red, he roared to life thrashing and squirming relentlessly against the suppressing arms. His voice rising several octaves now that he'd been provoked._

_“How dare you! Let go of me! Put me down immediately or I'll flay the flesh off your -”_

_His outraged threats were cut off by the large hand that suddenly clamped over his mouth tightly._

_“Hush now, no need for that.” the voice he recognized as Carahir's purred into his ear._

_Kicking backwards against the man's body in hopes of getting him to let go, he hit him in the knee which earned him a pained hiss from the human who unfortunately held him tight._

_Despite his fierce efforts to squirm and fight out of his captor's grip, he found himself being carried down the darkness of the cellar steps, and all light from the outside quickly disappeared when the door was pulled closed by another person._

_A lantern was suddenly lit and the young dwarf could now note that there were three men if he included Carahir who was still carrying him right now._

_“I knew I recognized you from somewhere.” the voice spoke again and he was thrown onto the floor with little care for possible damage._

_The young dwarf let out an 'oof' on impact, the wind having been knocked from his chest._

_**'My knife. I have one in my boot!'**_

_“You are one of the princes, the two that have been rumored to be kin of Thorin Oakenshield. Son perhaps? I didn't think he had any children.”_

_Fili got to his knees when the man approached him again, hand slowly etching toward the handle of a hunting knife he always had in his boot._

_“Not quite, now if you are done and you value your life you will stand aside and let me leave.” he growled lowly._

_His mysterious captor raised his hand and was about ready to backhand him and that is when he used his moment to strike, yanking his knife from inside his boot he swung upwards and the man let out a cry stumbling back from a large gash that had been dealt to his forearm._

_“I will not warn you again!” Fili spat, stumbling slightly as he stood, regardless of if he was sober enough to defend himself, he was still having some balancing issues and that was not good._

_He took a moment to take in the appearance of the other two men, he already recognized their leader._

_The on the left had light black hair that was long enough to tie back into a small ponytail and grayish color eyes. He was a little taller than Carahir was._

_As for the other he was the shortest of the three, greasy medium length brown hair and hazel eyes. He was the youngest of the three it appeared._

_Carahir inclined his head toward him when he met the gaze of his two friends. “Idhil. Theolaf.”_

_The two men both cam at him and he clumsily dodged a punch that had been aimed at his head, ducking underneath the arm, he kicked out at the second human when he had tried to sneak up on him._

_Apparently, the third thought he was well enough to fight because soon he was trying to keep his vision on all three of them and in his buzzed state that was by no means easy but he wasn't going to go down without a fight._

_A fight indeed, he managed to keep on his feet for at least ten minutes, he'd broken the nose of one of the three men and knocked two teeth out of another._

_In the end a swift kick to the chest sent him crashing to the floor sprawled on his back, stars danced all over his vision and he felt a sharp pain in his ribs when rasped for the air that had been knocked out of his lungs._

_He hadn't time to recover before he was flipped over onto his stomach and a knee dug into his back keeping him pinned there._

_“Ge'off me!” he commanded only to be silenced when a blade met his throat._

_“I could kill you right here Son of Durin and no one would ever know what happened to you. So how about you just be a good boy and be quiet?”_

_“Go to Mordor.” he snarled._

_A hand tangled into golden curls and his head slammed into the wooden floor with a crack that easily stunned him, blood trickled from a small cut on his forehead._

_Someone straddled him and Fili abruptly went still when the knife returned to his neck._

_“Theolaf, his hands.”_

_Theolaf was apparently the tallest man who was soon kneeling in front of him. He had grabbed both of wrists and pulled them forward so his arms were splayed out above his head, where he held them down to the floor securely._

_“I wonder if I could use you as leverage.” Carahir thought aloud._

_He licked his chapped lips, “If you want treasure I am afraid you are mistaken.”_

_“Am I? Would you explain?”_

_Fili bit his lip was trying to think of what he could tell the Carahir without giving away too much information._

_“Just know... that we have nothing that we can offer you.”_

_Carahir put all his weight upon the small dwarf when he stretched out so he was laying on top of him and put his mouth next to Fili's ear._

_Fili felt pressure tightening in his chest, didn't these men realize how heavy they were!?_

_Carahir grabbed the back of his collar and he heard the distinct noise of fabric being cut, and soon he felt the coolness of the air upon his back._

_“Oy!” he growled in protest._

_“Nothing that you can offer me?” The man chuckled and placed one calloused hand upon the back of Fili's bare shoulder, trailing it down... down.... down...._

_**'What is he doing? This is so strange...'**_

_He felt a grip on the back of his breaches and swallowed nervously._

_“I think they do dwarf, or at least you do.” Carahir spoke in a dark voice._

_“M... Me? But I have nothing. I've haven't even seen Erebor...”_

_He became vaguely aware of a hard pressure starting to develop on his lower back._

_**'What in Mahal's name is that?'**_

_Carahir let out a small 'awww' at his statement. “You are adorable.”_

_**'A-Adorable?!'**_

_Before he could voice his disapproval of the word usage, his pants were yanked down._

_A meek cry of shock escaped the dwarf's mouth and he started to squirm. “W-What are you doing!? Get off me!”_

_“I'm going to enjoy this dwarf. I think I shall just settle for you instead.”_

_“Enjoy what? What are you going to do!?”_

_Carahir just chuckled at his questions. The dwarf was yet untouched, this was perfect._

_Fili's breath had started to pick up, he was barely holding a panic attack at bay. He had a feeling that something really, really bad was going to happen if he didn't get his tail out of here._

_He heard the sound of a belt being unfastened and he strained to pull his arms free of the man who held him down to the floor._

_But he couldn't budge him._

_Hot breath was right by his ear again and the man let out a breathy command. “Idhil go fetch me some twine and then keep watch outside.”_

_After the third man had gone, Fili felt Carahir removing his boots so he could take his pants off completely._

_“Stop! Why are you doing this?! Is this not enough for you?” Fili spat frustration still laced in his voice._

_Carahir grabbed both his legs and forced him to part his thighs, Fili breathed a sigh and silently thanked Aule that he was still wearing his small clothes._

_“Enough? I do not really think you understand what my intentions are.” he laughed at the young dwarrow._

_“Kill me? Beat me? Rob me. I do not know nor am I concerned because you will regret it in the end.” he growled._

_Carahir smirked down at the dwarf and let one of his hands rest upon a clothed muscular rear, Fili jerked at this uncertainty starting to set in._

_“I do not believe I will regret one moment of it. You on the other hand...” he trailed off using one the one hand still parting Fili's thighs so he could let the other hand part the pale globes enough that he could prod a finger against his hole._

_Fili went absolutely rigid, his struggles ceased immediately and he went deathly quiet._

_Theolaf could see all the color drain from the dwarf's face and he sent a small smirk his friend's way._

_The older man applied some pressure against his entrance even though he wasn't allowed to penetrate with the clothing still covering the dwarf's sacred areas._

_A small squeak and a whimper escaped Fili's lips and he he felt Carahir's hand tease the waistband of his small clothes before returning to the spot it was previously in._

_Hot breath was against his ear once more. “I bet you are still a virgin.” Carahir whispered, being sure to apply pressure against the dwarf's entrance despite the barrier on the word virgin._

_The response was instantaneous, Fili squirmed and fussed at the realization of what was to come._

_Sheer panic flooded through his veins and the worst part of it was he was alone. He was used to Kili or someone being beside him all the times he'd been sent into such a scare._

_“Please... I-I'll give you whatever you want... please just let me go.”_

_Tears burned behind blue eyes, he was a dwarf supposed to be one of the proudest creatures to walk Middle-Earth and here he was, begging men for his virginity to be spared._

_He pictured Thorin fighting til he got away, but he wasn't like his uncle and that made the shame of it all burn even more._

_“You know golden dwarf's are extremely rare, hair like this is very uncommon for dwarrrow folk is it not?”_

_Fresh tears trickled down his cheeks as he remained silent._

_A fist tangled into his hair and again his head was slammed into the wooden floor earning a cry of pain._

_“Answer me!” Carahir roared._

_Sobs started to rack his body and the dwarf had to force himself to reply in between them._

_“Y-Yes.... yes it is..... p-please don't do this to me... I-I will tell no one... anyone I give you.... my w-word!”_

_“What is your name dwarf?”_

_Fili stuttered not wanting to answer the question but another crack when his head met the floor, followed by his small clothes being quickly yanked off his legs and tossed aside sent him into hysterics._

_“F-Fili! Fili.... S-Son of Dis... daughter o-of …. T-Thrain.... .. S-Son of.... of... T-Thror.”_

_Carahir smirked and reached into his coat pocket to retrieve a handkerchief which he wadded up into a tight ball._

_He leaned forward again until his mouth was level with the dwarf's ear, he ran his fingers over golden curls listening to the soft sobs and whimpers Fili kept letting out._

_“Fili... now was that really so terrible?”_

_A loud keen was his response as Fili buried his face in his forearms, he wanted to die he just wanted Mahal to take him now._

_“Open your mouth and I just might prepare you first.”_

_The dwarf shook his head defiantly and Carahir let out a dramatic sigh and positioned two fingers at Fili's quivering entrance._

_**'Help me please, Thorin please... anyone help.' he prayed futility to himself.**_

_A searing hot pain suddenly shot up his spine when Carahir rammed two fingers inside him, he arched his back and let out a blood chilling scream that was cut short when the man stuffed his mouth with some sort of fabric._

_Even after he'd efficiently silenced him, he felt Carahir continue to wedge the cloth down his throat until it started to make it difficult for him to breathe properly._

_Finally Carahir removed both fingers, and Fili having endured not even ten percent of what was about to happen to him, jerked and squirmed against Theolaf trying desperately to free his arms with renewed strength from sheer determination._

_His heart fluttered when Theolaf's grip failed on his right arm and he was able to pull it free._

_Immediately taking advantage of that busted the man strait in the nose._

_The sick sound of cartilage breaking rang in his ears, and Theolaf had jumped back both hands clutching at his wounded face._

_**'Now's my chance!'**_

_Still leaning over the dwarf's body, Carahir was frantically trying to process what was happening, how in the name of the creators could Theolaf not hold onto this tiny dwarf!?_

_Fili blindly jammed his elbow backwards and halted the warrior's thoughts when it smacked him straight in the left temple._

_Fortunately for the golden princling, the blow was hard enough that he saw black spots which made him stand so he could grab his spinning head with both hands to quell the dizziness._

_With the weight that had previously been keeping him pinned on the floor gone, the young dwarf wasted no time in flipping over onto his back._

_Just as he was about to kick the stunned human in the groin, a knife flew over Carahri's shoulder and embedded itself in his shoulder._

_He had not felt it at first but five seconds later he was screaming into the gag in agony, the blade had embedded itself to the hilt in the middle of the junction where shoulder connected to his upper arm._

_Blood ran freely from the newly inflicted wound and every time the dwarf moved his arm in any direction he felt the knife grind against his bones when he shifted._

_“A naughty one, aren't you?” Carahir chuckled before casting his attention over his shoulder to see that Idhir had returned._

_“I heard the commotion and thought maybe you might want this now?” he asked, lifting the roll of twine he'd brought back with him._

_It wasn't long before Fili found himself lying on his back with his hands bound tightly in front of him. Normally he'd still be fighting back since they were in front and not behind his back, but he didn't dare move due to how much pain it caused from his arm._

_The worst part was that they were aware of this._

_A gentle hand caressed his cheek wiping away some of the tears that had fallen from his eyes._

_“Look at what you made me do Fili. I generously offered to be nice but alas you had to be stubborn.”_

_Fili sniffled he knew that the act was inevitable, and hopefully the sooner he finished the sooner he'd kill him and he wouldn't have to live with the shame of it._

_That was what he was going to do right?_

_Thorin, who in their right mind would do something that would have Thorin Oakenshield hunting them down? He couldn't think that anyone would be so stupid, but at the moment he was more praying that someone wasn't that stupid._

_“Idhir. Theolaf. You can go on back I'll be able to clean up our trail.”_

_Idhir looked at him with a bit of unease, “Are you certain?”_

_A nod was all the two needed to be reassured that they were going to hightail their asses clear to the next town, especially if the dwarf they snagged was indeed the nephew of Thorin Oakenshield._

_After the two had gone Carahir slid his pants down just enough so that his hard on was freed of its confines._

_Fili stared up at him with big blue doe eyes that shifted their gaze to the man's large erection then back to his face._

_Carahir crawled on top of the small dwarf again, using his arms for support he brought his face close to Fili's so he could stare into those big blue pools._

_The young dwarf was willing to admit it out loud if he were able and if it mattered, that this experience right now was the first time he's ever been so afraid of something happening to himself rather than Kili._

_Yes, he'd never been so fearful for his own life than he was right now._

_He didn't want to die, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than that. That or to just fall asleep and wake up when it was all over so he could go home to his mother, his uncle, and Kili._

_An soft sound of voiced concern got his attention and he looked up to see Carahir with some sort of different look in his eyes._

_The lust was still there as well as the dark need, but was that a spark of sympathy?_

_**'Oh Aule help me, this guy is completely insane!'**_

_“You are trembling, are you frightened?”_

_Fili took a moment to register, confused by the words but realized that he actually was shaking._

_Carahir leaned down, pressing his mouth against Fili's throat causing the dwarf to tense with unease._

 _A small whimper escaped around the gag when he felt lips start to bite and suck at his skin, making their way up his neck to his bottom jaw which was given a small nip, coaxing a yelp of surprise from himself._

_Hands rested upon his pelvis before ghosting up and down his sides with tender almost affectionate caresses._

_“I shall be truthful with you, I have been watching you for quite some time. I'd had my assumptions of the two of you. I just hadn't the knowledge of which of you two was which and you are always together after all, so I had not the opportunity to confront you alone without suspicion.”_

_Fili squeezed his eyes shut, he had assumed this already to be honest. How unlikely it was that a random stranger would do this sort of thing without knowing a thing about the victim. Plus, he had a little group and normally things like this that happen around Ered Luin were done by solo players._

_Not that this sort of thing happened in Ered Luin a lot, it didn't actually._

_“If you promise to be good and behave yourself I might untie you, but you have to do exactly as I command.”_

_He opened his eyes again, it wouldn't matter if he untied him or not, he still would not be able to fight properly with the knife still embedded in the juncture of his shoulder._

_**'If he removes the gag I can call out for help. This might work.'**_

_Thinking the proposition over, he finally gave Carahir a small tip of the head which he took for a nod._

_“Very well.” the man spoke and grabbed hold of the knife that still remained in the dwarf's body._

_Fili's eyes widened in horror realizing that he planned to yank out the blade so he could cut the twine with it._

_Before he even had a chance to change his mind, he emitted a loud muffled cry of pain when the knife was removed._

_The agonized cry ended with a series of muffled sobs that shook the young dwarf's body._

_Carahir had an amused look in his eye as he severed the restraints._

_Fili went to pull the gag free but his hand was caught by the man's._

_“No, that stays in.”_

_**'No... he caught on....'**_

_“I'm not as dumb as you'd have me think dwarf.” the human chuckled._

_A couple more tears rolled down his tear strained face, all hope had just left him._

_“Hands down boy.” was the firm order he received._

_**'I might as well get it over with..... Thorin please forgive me...'**_

_He lowered his hand back down to his side and submitted as Carahir crawled on top of him and was once again mouthing at his neck this time on the other side._

_Carahir's right hand moved southward and his left hand came up to play with some of the developing chest hair before switching to rub at one of his nipples._

_Horrified was not even the defining word when Fili found himself starting to get hard from the caresses. Mortified was possibly more proper, well no maybe not._

_**'This is so wrong... I don't want this... I should not want this.'**_

_When he was sixty, he had voiced to his mother some concerns he was having about himself._

_Oh god was it an embarrassing talk._

_He should have gone to Uncle Thorin with that, but there had been a reason he hadn't. However it was more humiliating when he found out that he had no reason, to have a reason to have not gone to Thorin with said issue. Irritably embarrassing it was because his uncle had chuckled at his situation then had the SAME talk with him as well._

_Yes he chuckled! Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, his uncle, chuckled in amusement! Of all things to amuse Thorin it was this sort of predicament, hell even when Thorin was humored he pretty much NEVER laughs, yet his grumpy Uncle Thorin CHUCKLED at his distress! The audacity of it all!_

_The whole topic had been him wondering why he found that he had a sexual attraction to the older brother to one of Kili's friends, yet he still found the dwarrowdam that he'd met on the road when he and Thorin were coming back from a trip appealing as well._

_Aule he really wished he'd gone to Thorin about that. He thought he'd disapprove. Then of course he learned that, that is the reason his uncle never married except he only found an interest in men._

_Even though he lay before this man, he still found him attractive he wouldn't deny it but to Mordor with it all, he didn't want it! Not like this! So why the hell was he still getting hard?_

_**'Fuck you body, fuck you.'**_

_He felt his legs being parted until he felt the cool air of the room against his entrance, his body shuddered at the feeling of being so exposed._

_Fili narrowed his brow when he suddenly felt something hot and moist, wait is that breath?_

_His eyes searched desperately for Carahir and when he found him he was a tad confused when he could make out his graying black hair from between his parted legs._

_**'What is he doing?'**_

_The feeling of something hot and extremely moist prodding at his hole made Fili let out a shrill screech and lift his lower body off the floor away from the intruding, having been taken by surprise._

_Carahir yanked forcefully on Fili's left leg when he'd tried to pull it free. This earned him a loud muffled keen from the blond upon feeling his joints burn with protest._

_“Do not move. Or I'll break that leg.” was the firm command he received._

_He let out a small whine when he felt Carahir force his thighs up until his bent knees brushed the floor and held them open with a grip he knew was going to leave bruises._

_“Just to make sure you don't try to lock up on me again.” he explained before lowering his head again._

_Fili's breathing picked up again and he was trying to will himself to calm down, he just wanted this to be over with._

_He also noted that he was losing quite a bit of blood from where he was stabbed, he was starting to get rather dizzy._

_Carahir leaned and licked over the puckered ring of flesh, which again earned a shrill protest and he could feel the dwarf's legs strain against his hold._

_Once he settled again, he decided to take it up a notch or maybe it'd feel more like two to the small dwarf, either way it didn't matter._

_The young dwarf was starting to feel extremely hot all the sudden and further observation proved to him that he was semi-hard by now._

_A sharp gasp tore free when he felt something foreign enter him. It was wet and slimy and it almost felt like it writhed within him._

_He squeaked at the realization or guess as to what the thing was._

_**'Oh fuck! Mahal be damned! Is that his tongue!?'**_

_Hearing his reaction Carahir chuckled softly spearing his tongue inside his body as far as he could get it._

_A few moments of this went by when suddenly Fili let out a noise that would have even had Dwalin blushing, back trying to arch off the floor straining against the firm hands that pinned him in place._

_The dwarf flushed a bright red. Durin's beard, he even made himself blush with that undignified sound!_

_Finding what he'd been looking for, Carahir continued to try to aim at the same spot, until finally he grew bored with this technique and pulled away._

_He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand releasing the dwarf's legs which fell limp onto the wooden floor._

_Carahir crawled on top of him straddling his hips and Fili became aware of the gentle hand that was now running through his hair, tucking some of the strands that were plastered to his face with sweat behind his ear._

_“I do believe that should make it at least a little easier to get in. I won't lie it is going to hurt a lot, but since you've been good so far I will try to be as gentle as I can.”_

_**~XXX~**_

_Fili knew that he would never forget how much pain he felt in those moments, he thought he was going to die and he'd never see his family again. He had passed out from blood loss shortly after the hellish act was finished, and when he woke everything hurt, all the way up his spine._

_It was dark, but he could tell he wasn't at home._

_Was he still in the cellar?_

_As he went to sit up he found that his hands were bound securely behind his back, he discovered not long after that he was still gagged._

_A put out lantern on the floor, clothes were scattered about the floor._

_The floor..... there was so much blood... was that all his?_

_He finally concluded that he was alone, and that Carahir had left him here to suffer._

_His ears perked and he became vaguely aware of frustrated shouting between two people, one of them that switched between khuzdul and westron, and had deep voice._

_His gaze shot up the small set of stairs to the door, he could see two people standing outside it one of them was standing beside a pony._

_“Well where in Durin's name has he gone then!? She told me he was coming here and he left the house over six hours ago! I have been out all evening and I still haven't found him. Madrafimi Astu! Durin better help you if you're lying to me. I would gut you right here!”_

_**'Thorin!' Fili recognized his voice.**_

_“I am sorry mister Oakenshield, h-he isn't here. He left about four hours ago, I have no idea where he may be.”_

_**'Shit! No, no, no, no....!'** he panicked looking around desperately for something to get his uncle's attention he wanted to get the fuck out of here. _

_Looking at the lantern he swallowed anxiously._

_He heard what sounded like a punch followed by a yelp of pain, and only then did he put together that his uncle had punched the man._

_“If you are crossing me and something has happened to my sister-son, I will have your heart served to me on a platter! Do I make myself clear?”_

_Not caring whether or whether not he'd cut himself up or not, Fili lifted a foot and slammed it back down upon the glass which immediately gave way and shattered._

_Of course now he wished he had thought it through, because his ankle was bloody and had several pieces of glass sticking out of it._

_He whimpered at the pain it caused and he heard a tense silence develop outside._

_“What was that?” came his uncle's dark chilling voice that he only used when he was about to gut something._

_“I-I don't know....”_

_“Aye? Well let us go take a look, get up!_

_Suddenly the agony from the previous stunt started to become more noticeable as the adrenaline left his body, he let out a small cry, but when he set his foot back down on the ground it erupted into a stifled but still bone chilling scream when he set it down over top one of the shards that had embedded into his flesh._

_The door was jerked open and Fili saw Thorin standing in the doorway dragging the pub owner by the collar._

_He still to this day cannot even describe the look on Thorin's face when his eyes laid upon his broken form._

_Forgetting all about his threat, Thorin dropped the man with a thud and jumped down the stairs to kneel by his side._

_His uncle had rolled him over so that the pressure was removed from the glass that stuck out of his ankle, but when he looked back up to the man he saw frantic scared blue eyes._

_Thorin reached down to pick him up but his hands froze before he even touched his body, it was as if he were afraid to touch him or he might break._

_He could see his uncle debating with himself what he should do, he was eyeing the blood that flooded the floor and he knew he could smell the bodily fluids from the event that had taken place._

_His eyes had started to brim with tears that he blinked back, biting his lip as he willed himself to be strong for his sister-son's sake, he could tell that lad boarded on the edge of hysteria._

_“Fili, oh lad... what happened?” Thorin's he croaked, not quite knowing what to say as he pulled the gag from his mouth. He felt stupid for asking, because it was obvious what had taken place in here._

_A mild coughing fit racked his body and he let his head fall rest against the floor, exhaustion completely evident._

_His nephew's eyes shifted quickly to the doorway where the human still stood staring in shock and horror at the sight before him, Thorin followed his gaze and quickly pulled off his fur to drape it over Fili's nude body._

_Fili seemed to tremble when he reached out to pick him up and Thorin just felt his heart continuing to break into smaller pieces. "Fili it's okay son."_

_The young dwarf felt himself being pulled into his uncle's lap and held tightly against him._

_“Th-They... hu..... hurt.....me...” that was all Fili could get out before he broke down with a hysterical mess of sobs._

_"Shh, Fili. Lad you're safe now."_

_Fili's trembling increased to the point Thorin actually had to tighten his hold a little bit._

_He began trying to calm his traumatized sister-son down the best he could at this point, rubbing soothing circles into his back with one hand and running his fingers through gold locks with the other. "It's alright."_

_After a few minutes the older dwarf had finally been successful enough that Fili was able to speak again. “H-home.... please... wan' go 'ome... ”_

_His uncle's eyes spilled a couple of tears and he nodded. “Aye.”_

**~Present~**

Fili awoke with a start, panting and covered with a cold sweat, he hadn't dreamed of that in a while.

A lump formed in his throat as he sat there pondering over the memory.

He needed to see him. He needed to know if it was true or not.

Everyone was asleep anyways he should be able to get into the infirmary easily. 

Swinging his legs out of bed and double checking to make sure he didn't wake his brother Fili slipped out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **EDIT: May 18th, 2015** Added onto chapter
> 
> *Drops to the floor with foot twitching in the air* AIR! AIRRRRRRRRRRRRR OMG AIR!!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> I think you guys have to love me now, holy shit this chapter was huge. 
> 
> I know I said it'd be super graphic but I decided to cut some of the stuff because the way I had it earlier looked sloppy to the point I could not even look at it.
> 
> I still kinda feel like this is sloppy.... but fuck it I tried.
> 
> I was wrong! The spark will happen in this next coming chapter. And dear god it's gonna be a long one too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter had me sad while I was writing it. 
> 
> KHUZDUL
> 
> **Baishnikmi id hasas udu beshekzu** \- I will flay the flesh from your bones.  
>  **Inùdoy** \- Son

Fíli stood outside the door to the infirmary, he'd been standing here for a couple minutes actually, unsure whether or whether not he really wanted to find out if what their mother had told him to be true or false.

He loved his uncle, how could he not? Thorin was there beside them after their father Vili fell in battle protecting uncle Frerin who fell anyways.

A father figure is what he became to them, and he treated them as if they were his own kids because in truth they kind of were.

Kíli was two when their father was taken from them, he was seven and he remembered how much Thorin forced himself to change not only for them but for his sister as well.

If ever they were in a tight situation, Thorin was always the one who would help them, even when they had been foolish little dwarflings and could have learned a lesson or two if he declined to do so.

Though, they'd learn a lesson either way. Dís was known for her quick temper and firm hand on two mischievous dwarflings who were known to wreck havoc all over Ered Luin.

His little brother wasn't put through quite as much extensive training and discipline that he was, but his brother's heart was bigger than his head could be at times, and that is what he loved the most about Kíli.

Yes one could say that the relationship between the two siblings was unnaturally strong, but there was a reason for that, and he was just thankful that Kíli was still unaware of said reason.

He took in a shaky breath and exhaled before placing a trembling hand on the door handle and pulling the heavy wooden door open.

Quickly he entered the room and turned around to make sure the door didn't slam shut, but left it ajar just slightly.

However once he turned his back to the door and saw the still figure lying on the bed he wanted to run right back out of the room.

There his king lay, his entire torso was covered in bandages all the way up to his neck, still healing bruises marred his abnormally pale skin of his arms.

His face was littered in blue and green bruising as well, but he could tell that they used to be much much darked because some still had flecks of deep purple in spots. A large gash above his eye  
had stitches that were slowly mending the wound back together.

Yes Thorin was breathing, but it was so soft and light that he would appear dead if not for the steady rise and fall of his chest.

He stood there mouth agape, he didn't know whether to laugh nor cry at how ironic it was that he fought so damn hard to stay alive back there, cauterized his own wounds just so he could see both Kíli and Thorin again, yet here his uncle lay in a coma.

_'One last time.'_

Fíli's bottom lip trembled slightly, swallowing thickly he approached the bedside until he was standing right above the mostly still figure.

**~ Memory ~**

 

_“Fíli, son you need to wake up.” a hushed voice called to him.  
_

__  
**'Are you alright son?'**  


_Fíli shuddered as the voice played in his head, and furrowed his brow he felt the cold night air on the parts of his body that wasn't covered by Thorin's fur cape.  
_

_The whinny of a pony passed through his ears and he realized that he was being carried._

_“Fíli, lad look at me.”_

_“Thorin... t-tired.....”_

_“I know, son you've lost a lot- ” Thorin trailed off his sentence when he noticed silent tears starting to drip down the dwarf's face._

_“Fíli?” Thorin said his name with a hint bewilderment, “Lad what is it?”_

_“D-Don't....”_

_Thorin stared down at him waiting patiently for further explanation._

_“... please... don't c-call me.... th-that....”_

_When his uncle's almost wounded eyes met his, he felt even worse so he tried to explain some more._

_“N... Not like that... please.... h-he... he made me-”_

_Thorin had by now caught onto why Fíli was so distressed. “Shush. You don't need not explain it to me right now Inùdoy.”_

_Fíli raised his eyes to meet Thorin's, seeing the warm gentleness that resided within the icy blueness._

_“Is that better?”_

_A sad smile and a small nod was his reply, “M-M'sorry.”_

_“You have nothing to apologize for my boy.”_

_“Thorin... I'm tired...”_

_“Yes, you've lost quite a bit of blood. In fact that is the reason why we got off the pony. I fear you may bleed out soon if we fail to cinch the bleeding. We do not seem to have time to wait until we get home.”_

_Fíli lifted his eyes questioningly when Thorin set him on the ground, he felt sleep calling him already though._

_He must have blacked out because when a hand shook him awake he saw that Thorin had set up a small fire._

_'Thank Mahal, it's freezing out as it is.'_

_Thorin made his way to him and carefully lifted him into his arms._

_The older dwarf was staring at him with desperation as he lowered himself onto the ground with his side to the fire and him settled between his legs._

_He felt Thorin's hand running through his hair affectionately and they sat like that for a few moments until his uncle broke the silence._

_“Fíli. I have to seal that wound, the bleeding has increased since we left.”_

_Blue eyes darted to the fire, and only now was he able to see the knife that was among the flames._

_His eyes snapped back to his uncle in horror and he frantically shook his head. “Please...”_

_A large hand tucked lose hair behind his ear, and smoothed back the stragglers that had hung in front of his face._

_Thorin's eyes turned sad as he pulled the glowing white blade from the fire. “Aye, I am not keen on this either, but if you keep losing as much blood as you are now you will die lad.”_

_It pained him to know that he was the one to do this, he had been hoping he could get the lad back home and request Óin's presence so he could either stitch him up or do the cauterizing himself._

_Bright eyes that reflected the glow of the scalding knife, became glassy with tears while watching his uncle blow a on the blade._

_When Thorin started to lower the hot blade to gaping stab wound in his shoulder his breath started to pick up. "U-Uncle... uncle I..."_

_As soon as the younger dwarrow felt the heat radiating off the knife when it wasn't even upon his skin, he was starting to panic. “N-No... wai.... wait.... p-please Thor... in .. d-don't ....!”_

_Desperately he began to try to squirm out of his uncle's lap, "No! Thorin stop! Wait! N-Not ready! Don' do this t'me! 'Nother way!" he forced out between frustrated grunts._

_He was held fast by a strong arm that pinned him to his uncle's broad chest with arms forced against his sides._

_The young dwarrow went completely still, eyes blown open wide._

_“Please....”_

_**'I will tear the flesh from your bones!'** _

_**'Hush now, no need for that.'** _

_A shrill terrified keen followed desperate flailing took Thorin by surprise._

_He had thought Fíli had managed to calm himself, but his struggles roared back to life out of nowhere and now they were increasingly violent._

_Needless to say when Fíli tried to nail him in the face with a head-butt, he barely had time to jerk backwards and avoid getting hit by the back of his head._

_“N-No! I.. I don' … don' want to! Ge'off me! **Baishnikmi id hasas udu beshekzu!”** the dwarfling yelled tearfully, throwing all his weight away from the older dwarf._

_He knew he had been dreaming when he saw Uncle Thorin coming down those steps,_

__  
**'I could kill you right here Son of Durin and no one would ever know what happened to you. So how about you just be a good boy and be quiet?'**  


__  
**'I do not believe I will regret one moment of it. You on the other hand...'**  


_'Oh Mahal he came back for me!'_

_Thorin was taken back by the words and the sobs, but nothing surprised him more than the sheer panic Fíli had just gone into._

_'He thinks he's being attacked... Aule's gates Fíli, what did that man do to you?' he thought quickly, he needed to work fast._

_“Please... n-no...I don' w-want it...” his nephew's panicked shriek snapped him from his thoughts._

_He dropped the knife to the forest floor, and moved his hand to try to grasp the boy's jaw and get him to look at his face._

_The older warrior couldn't help the small shout of pain when he felt teeth sink into the tender flesh between his thumb and forefinger._

_“Arrgh! Fíli! Lad you're alright, it's just me. Mahal be damned! Fíli let go of my hand!”_

_His command had the opposite effect it seemed, because teeth applied more pressure until he could feel blood running down his wrist._

_Thorin's first instinct of course was retaliation, and he was trying not to lose his temper, that itself took a lot of self-restraint and a deep breath._

_When two warm droplets fell upon the side of his assaulted hand, he grit his teeth and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on top of Fíli's mass of golden curls. He felt the young dwarf's body begin to tremble nervously against him._

_“It's alright Inùdoy you are safe, I'm right here. The man who did this to you is gone, no harm shall fall upon you right now. There is nothing to be afraid of, it is just you and me, all is well.” he whispered down reassuringly._

_After a couple moments of tense silence Fíli released his grip on Thorin's hand which had fresh blood dripping down his wrist._

_Thorin winced, gritting his own teeth from the sharp throbbing that was still left to his wounded hand._

_“I wish to get home and see Kíli and your mother. What say you?”_

_“Kíli... I want Kíli...”_

_“The sooner you let me do this, the sooner we can go home.”_

_A small sniffle and a slight nod was all the permission Thorin needed._

_He still knew Fíli wasn't going to hold still, permission or not his body would act on instinct like most warriors did._

_“Close your eyes Inùdoy.”_

_Once he saw blue eyes vanish behind shut eyelids, the older dwarf turned Fíli's head so that his face was partially buried into the crook of his neck._

_Thorin retrieved the hot knife from the fire, tightening his grip on the young dwarf's body when he heard a small whine of protest._

_Fíli could hear the blade hiss with the intense heat and he was about to turn his head when a strong forearm pressed firmly against his neck._

_“Inùdoy, hold still. Deep breath.”_

_The younger dwarf did as he was told, however a breath wasn't the only thing he let out when he exhaled._

_Thorin winced at the loud agonized scream that tore from his nephew's throat once he placed the blade against the wound._

_Fíli screamed, he flailed, and thrashed against the older dwarf, and Thorin cringed when the sizzling sound and scent of burning flesh filled the air,_

_He needed to do something to try to calm not only Fíli but himself as well, for he couldn't stand Fíli's agonized cries._

**'You know Kíli, I get jealous of Uncle's voice sometimes.'**

**'Why? It's so scary.'**

**'Haha aye, when he's angry you want to run for the hills.'**

**'Heh, then why?'**

**'Why indeed Fíli.'**

**Two eyes had shot to look at him standing in the door frame and Fíli's cheeks had tinted a deep scarlet.**

**'You heard that?'**

**'Aye.'**

**Kíli had started to giggle as Fíli shuffled nervously.**

**'I've always been jealous of your singing voice.'**

**His eyes widened at that, he honestly wasn't expecting something so innocent.**

**Kíli had gone silent at the statement too and nodded. “Aye, I suppose I am too. Uncle's got a beautiful singing voice.'**

_'I'll sing, that's what I'll do.'_

_Another pained scream quickly made up his mind._

_“Shh... Far over the Misty Mountains cold...”_

_“To dungeons deep and caverns old...”_

_Flil's struggle ceased a little until the body suddenly went lax against his chest, but the sobbing continued._

_Thorin let his chin rest on top golden waves as he continued the song._

_“We must away ere break of day...”_

_After glancing over Fíli's heaving chest he checked to see how much longer this was going to take._

_'Thank Mahal.'_

_He was almost done._

_“To find our long-forgotten gold.”_

_Fíli let out a small hoarse cry and tried to curl into himself, beginning to draw his legs to his chest._

_Thorin sighed, he did not want to risk the lad bumping his hand when he was still holding the hot knife against his body because he'd rather get this over with._

_He shifted his own legs over the top of his nephew's thighs, efficiently pinning them down to the forest floor._

_“The pines were roaring on the height...”_

_'Dís is going to be devastated. So much for the lad's coming of age.'_

_Fíli had reluctantly started to relax against him, he let his hand that rest on his side rub soothing circles into the quivering body._

_“I'm almost done Fíli, The winds were moaning in the night.”_

_“I... P-Please... it... it h-hurts...”_

_“Aye, I know it hurts lad.”_

_By this point Fili's screams of agony had turned into loud hiccuping sobs and the occasional shrill squeak to replace them._

_Feeling he could trust his nephew to stay put Thorin released the younger dwarf's arms to rest his hand against a sweat covered cheek and wipe some of the tears away._

_“The fire was red, it flaming spread.”_

_Fíli had grabbed hold of his wrist with trembling fingers, squeezing tightly to try to relieve some of the pain, so he placed another gentle kiss on top of his head before continuing._

_“The trees like torches blazed with light.”_

_Peering over Fíli's chest, now still, once more he slowly lifted the knife to make sure the wound was completely closed._

_The older dwarf breathed a sigh and set the knife on the ground looking back down he saw Fíli's tear-stained face and glassy blue eyes staring up at him before disappearing behind closed eyelids._

_His heart was throbbing painfully, he leaned down and placed a brief kiss on his temple, smoothing back his fussy hair, “Good boy Fíli, you did beautifully.”_

_He held the dwarfling like that for a few moments before he moved to lay the lad down on the ground. They needed to let him rest for a few minutes before they go climbing back atop a pony._

_“No... no...” the young dwarrow rasped the tears quickly flooding from his eyes again, hands gripping desperately at his biceps._

_“I am not going anywhere, just lay down Fíli. It's alright.”_

_“No... I don't.... want...”_

_“Shh... I won't leave you, lay down Inùdoy, just lay down lad. All is well.”_

_Fíli suddenly became aware that his vision was fading in and out, and the last thing he remembered was staring into his uncle's ice blue eyes._

__  
**~XXX~**  


_When he woke up again, he could feel the steady tread of a pony on which he sat, he was confused he thought they were going home?_

_Opening his eyes he found himself slumped forward over the shoulders of Minty Thorin's pony._

_The reins on the animal were tied securely around his wrists with semi-loose knots. He shifted nervously trying to recognize where he was he could still feel the cold bite of the night air on his skin, which meant he was still nude underneath what Thorin's fur covered._

_He became painfully aware of the searing pain in his shoulder and found a dark burn replaced the wound from the knife._

_He heard nothing but the sound of the pony's footsteps upon the ground, and fear started to rise gradually when he couldn't seem to locate Thorin._

_A hand was suddenly placed over his chest from behind, “I'm still here Inùdoy.”_

_Okay good so Thorin was sitting behind him._

_“Where..... are we....?”_

_Minty let out a small whinny hearing his voice._

_“On our way to Dwalin's. Go back to sleep lad.”_

_“Mm.. home...?”_

_“Not tonight Inùdoy, we're both exhausted and you need proper rest. I also do not want you getting sick in this state.”_

_Fíli was honestly too tried to even argue at this point and remained silent._

**~(End Memory)~**

The dwarf couldn't help but bite his lips nervously as he stared down at the still figure.

_'Why? Why couldn't I have aimed for Azog instead... I was so stupid.'_

He'd been rather vicious to Thorin before they had gone out to battle, he had been so angry with him for leaving the people of Laketown to suffer.

Angry hadn't even been the word, he was furious because he was aware that his Uncle knew more than most of the dwarves within their company the hardships of losing your home, the people of Laketown had nothing left and their uncle had selfishly turned them away for a Mahal be damned stone!

Yet as he stood here staring down at Thorin's defenseless body, he felt himself crumbling on the inside. 

His uncle had been wrong yes, but starting thinking over their journey with the company to the Lonely Mountain Fíli realized that most of Thorin's actions that he had deemed selfish, actually hadn't been. 

Thorin Oakenshield was a skilled warrior as well as tactician, not as good a tactician as Balin but a good one none the less.

Kíli had been poisoned with a Morgal Shaft, and Thorin had ordered him to stay in Laketown and join them later when he was better. 

Thinking back on that now, he now knew that Thorin had intnded to make both of them stay behind. 

Their uncle knew far to well that he would never abandon his brother, not for gold, not even for Mithril, no bribe would make him leave Kíli's side. 

**_'Fíli don't be a fool, you belong with the company.'_ **

**_'I belong with my brother.'_ **

If Thorin really wanted him to be with the company, he would have put up a bigger argument. 

He hadn't wanted them to face Smaug, that was the real reason he made Kíli stay behind, not only because he was sick. 

Throat constricting, he felt guilt eating at his insides. 

Here he originally thought his uncle was being a dick, but that wasn't the case. 

If Thorin had known Kíli was dying, if he had seen how close Kíli had come to death he would have stayed behind as well. 

_'What have I accused him of...?'_

Fíli's legs buckled beneath him he fell to his knees resting his forehead upon the side of the bed. 

**~ (Memory) ~**

_“Fíli! Feeee!! I'm back! Feee!” His little brother's loud desperate voice shouted across the clearing._

_Fíli sniffled, trying to wipe his tears on his shoulder since he was too afraid to use his hands._

_Trying to look at the ground through all the thick leaves was kind of difficult, but he could see his little brother's small figure staring up at him with big glassy brown eyes._

_There was someone else there too, they were wandering about stopping every now and then before moving to a new spot and doing the same._

_“Kíli, where in Durin's name is he at? Is this the right tree? I can not see him.”_

_'Uncle Thorin?'_

_“He's up there!” Kíli replied, watching his brother point up dramatically._

_Thorin crouched down behind Kíli and looked up, still failing to see his golden haired brother stuck up high in the large tree.  
He studied the scene for a few moments before he finally spotted him._

_Thorin's eyes widened a little bit wondering how the hell the dwarfling got himself up that high._

_As quickly as the brief panic had come to his eyes, it was gone and a calm gentleness replaced it._

_Quietly Thorin turned to Kíli and told him to go see what Dwalin was doing and go pester him, of course the wee dwarfling was reluctant at first but a stern look from Uncle Thorin told him to go._

_After Kíli had scampered off, Thorin cast his gaze back to the tree._

_“I see you Fíli. Are you alright?”_

_Trying to sniff back more tears he shook his head, “M'stuck.”_

_“Aye, I can see that.” he chuckled softly, approaching the tree._

_“M'scared...”_

_“I know Fíli, it's alright I am going to come and get you down.”_

_Once his uncle got into the tree he tossed his sword, and smithing supplies onto the ground to get rid of some extra weight._

_“You're so small, I couldn't see you at first. How in Durin's name did you get up here Fíli?”_

_Fíli sniffed but proceeded in explaining to Thorin of the bird's nest they wanted to look at which turned out to be empty much to their disappointment, and how the branch he had used for footing to get up ton this one had snapped and he couldn't' figure out how to get down._

_By the time Fíli had finished explaining Thorin was standing on a branch half-way up to where he was at._

_When he tried to grab the next limb he saw his uncle's face drop nervously when the branch started to snap under his weight._

_Trying another it did the same, and Thorin took a deep breath and raised calm warm eyes to meet his._

_“The rest of these branches won't hold me Fíli. C'mere lad.”_

_'What!?'_

_“Wait... j-jump...?”_

_Thorin straightened himself out and held his arms up to him._

_“Aye. Jump.”_

_A couple reluctant tears fell, one of them landing on a leaf that was level with his uncle's head._

_“It's alright lad. Come on.”_

_He shook his head quickly, “Don' want to... m'scared.”_

_Thorin chuckled softly, “I've caught stones bigger than you Fíli.”_

_He shook his head again._

_“I'll catch you, you'll be okay Fíli. You won't fall.”_

_“Y-You... swear?”_

_Thorin flashed him a genuine smile. “Upon my honor, and wish to avoid your mother's wrath.”_

_Fíli couldn't help but giggle at that, even Uncle Thorin was afraid of ma when she was angry._

_Slowly he managed to get to his feet trying to balance._

_“Just look at me, not the ground Fíli. There that's good! Good lad, c'mon jump!”_

_He squeezed his eyes closed and prayed for the best, and hopped off the branch he felt himself falling, falling, and then he was locked between two firm arms._

_When he opened his eyes he met Thorin's proud loving stare._

_“There that wasn't so bad was it?”_

_He sniffled again. “No...”_

_Thorin chuckled softly and started to turn around, only to let out a cry of surprise when an angry hawk was screeching in his face._

_He felt his uncle's body sway as he tried to keep his balance but pretty soon arms tightened crushingly around him when they were both crashing through the branches to the forest floor._

_Of course he squealed and Thorin let out an involuntary shout when his back made impact with the ground._

_The arms loosened their hold and he crawled free, to sit by Thorin's side, whom was by the way gasping for breath having been winded on the impact._

_“Are you okay Uncle? Do I need to go get Óin?” he asked anxiously._

_Thorin though wheezing for breath, shook his head, smilied and ruffled his hair._

_“N-No more trees for you lad.”_

**~ (End Memory) ~**

Fíli's thoughts were interrupted when two hands grabbed his shoulders from behind. 

Startled having not expected anyone to be awake, he let out a silent scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'll explain something because I don't know if this was understood. 
> 
> The reason why Fili started threatening in Khuzdul here is because the last time he said that particular threat in westron was just before he got raped, just in case anyone was wondering why I did that.
> 
> Don't worry guys dat Bard spark will be coming here real soon! So I lied twice I said it was going to be in the last chapter, and then I said this one, just kidding guys it'll be in the next one I promise.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty here we go.

Bard the Bowman, Bard the Dragonslayer, Lord Bard of Laketown, he honestly didn't know what to call himself these days. 

He had heard the news of Thorin Oakenshield's condition three days ago, and though he'd wanted to go send his support right away he had people he had to take care of so he'd been pressed for time. 

Walking the dark corridors dimly lit by torches here and there, he could see that the dwarves had been working hard to rebuild and clean up the mess that had sat here for decades.

Though he'd already expected a watchman, he would not deny that he had been stunned to see a dwarrow woman sitting guard behind the ramparts.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, just that he'd never seen one before.

In all his years even as a child he had heard that women were scarce within this race, and after speaking with some of the members of Thorin's Company when they were his... guests.... at his house, several of the dwarves confirmed that females are extremely rare among dwarrow folk.

Unlike Thorin, Dain, and most of the other dwarves that he'd met when on a watch, she didn't even pick up the cross bow beside her not right away anyhow. 

**~ Earlier ~**

The dwarrowdam turned her attention to him, and though he saw no hesitation nor hostility in her eyes he did see that she became more alert the instant she spotted him.

“Good evening.” she spoke calmly, and creators did she have a powerful voice. 

“Yes, good evening to you m'lady.” 

She studied him as he sat upon his horse quietly when the silence arose. 

“What business have you here son of man?” 

Bard bowed his head slightly “Apologies, I know I come at a strange hour.” 

The corner of her mouth lifted into a humored smile, but there was a sadness that started to shine in her eyes. “Not to worry, there has been a lot of lost sleep as of late.”

He gave the dwarrowdam a sympathetic smile, “I had heard of your King's unfortunate condition, I'm sorry. The dwarves of Erebor have the support of the people of Dale and myself should you ever need it.” 

Brown eyes softened at his words, clearly they meant something to her. “Thank you. I am sure Thorin would be touched to hear that were he able, my brother may seem cold, but he has a large heart.” 

His eyes widened at the words that were just spoken. 

_'Brother? Does this mean she is...'_

He opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out, he just stood there gaping for a few seconds before he closed it and continued to stare.

The dwarrodam chuckled, “My, you are surprised.” 

“A-Apologies.... you are Thorin's sister?”

She nodded and gave him a smile. “I am Dis daughter of Thrain, son of Thror.” 

He bowed his head in respect, and suddenly a thought came to him as he took in her appearance again.

She reminded him of the younger prince, especially her eyes. ah... what was his name.... well Fili's little brother.

'Is this their mother?' 

“The princes, Fili and ah...um... sorry.... the other one... are-?” 

She laughed loudly for a few moments before nodding her head. “Aye, their mother. Fili and Kili are my boys. Do not fret, I am used to people getting their names mixed up. Their uncle would get frustrated when one of them got into trouble rather than both of them.” she chuckled at the last thought.

Bard chuckled along with her, but his humor suddenly died down as his thoughts drifted toward the golden dwarf he had carried all the way back to Erebor. 

He had not yet heard any word of him since he brought him to the gates.

Then what of Thorin? Fili was Thorin's heir, second in line to the throne of Erebor after Thorin's coronation which had yet to take place.

If he were to fall Fili would be expected to take the throne, and he knew that would be difficult for him because from what he had gathered on the young dwarf he had a lack of self-confidence when it came to the throne. He had seen it several times when the dwarves were in his home, he'd often find him seeking consolation from his brother.

Dis must have sensed his sorrow because he saw sympathetic concern come to her brown eyes. 

“Something ails you?” 

Though he wanted to ask, he didn't really know if it was his place.

“Has there been any change?” 

Her eyes widened in surprise from the genuine concern in the man's voice. She unlike her brother, wasn't known to hold decade long grudges against races such as the ones Thorin held against the elves and the resentment he held toward the sons of men.

She really couldn't see this man as a threat by this point, he clearly meant no ill will toward their people. 

“No, our king still remains incapacitated and though I worry, I do not doubt that he will make it. “

Bard nodded in agreement. “He's strong.” 

“I worry more for the boys.” 

His attention was caught at this. 

“How do they fair?” 

Her smile fell at the question and she liked her chapped lips momentarily, a nervous trait that Fili seemed to have inherited.

“Kili is recovering from his wounds, he got struck with fever a week after the battle, it broke three days ago.” 

“I heard his wounds were grave.” 

“Oh aye, an abdominal wound, another impalement in his side, and he's suffering from a nasty head wound as well.” 

The man paled at the information, he really was surprised. “And... fever hit him?” 

She nodded, “Elrond said it would be a miracle if he lived through it, but he did though not without having some remaining difficulty.”

“Exhaustion?” 

“Aye, but that dwarf's stubbornness knows no bounds. He is finally starting to perk up again.” 

He nodded in response, and shifted nervously, “... and Fili? Did he make it? I assume they had taken the arrow out immediately, right?” 

Dis froze at his words, how was it he knew such details that hadn't been kept but within the walls of Erebor.

She had been told by Ori that it was a man who had found her son fighting for life and had carried him all the way back to the front gates. It was also made known that if said man hadn't found Fili then, they wouldn't have and he would be lost to them, they had searched those grounds already several times and moved to others.

It was possible that this could be the man that Ori spoke of, they had been rushed for time and she hadn't been able to catch his name and now that it was over and done with she hadn't really bothered to ask. 

Though it was also possible that he wasn't, and that certainly meant nothing good.

Bard was about to ask what the matter was but stopped his words when he found a crossbow being aimed at him. 

“What is your name? How do you know of the arrow that pierced my son's throat?” 

The man blinked surprised by the change of mood that had no warning whatsoever, a warning shot flew in front of his horse making it rear up slightly before he calmed him down again.

“I am Lord Bard of Dale, apologies I should have introduced myself earlier.” 

Her hands quivered slightly, “Y-You... you are the one who killed the dragon...?” 

Bard nodded, “I am, I found your son in a collapsed structure on the second day after the battle.” 

“I... y-you.... “ he heard her stutter quietly and the loud clatter of the crossbow falling to the stone floor rang in his ears. 

When he looked back up to the rampart he saw she was gone, he waited a couple minutes waiting for her to possibly return but he was surprised when the front gate opened and the dwarrowdam came outside.

He got off his horse when she approached him, he was still uncertain what to expect from the dwarf but he kept a stoic expression on his face. 

“I apologize Lord Bard, I hadn't been given a name when I heard that a man saved my son.” 

“No it's alright M'lady. He is alive?” 

Dis nodded, “Aye. He lost a lot of blood when they removed the arrowhead. He also became feverish not long afterward.” 

Bard grimaced, “He had been hit in an area that would kill most, if that shot had been any more precise he would have been dead. I hadn't a doubt that there was a probability of complications showing up.”

“Nor I Lord Bard, praise Mahal his hadn't last as long as his brother's did. The elven king of Rivendell had him on sedatives for almost two weeks so he could heal. From what I understand they stopped giving him the sleeping aids the day I arrived in Erebor.” 

He knelt down before her when she motioned him to come closer, and he couldn't help but tense when he was embraced by the dwarrven female. 

“You have my gratitude Bard the Dragon slayer, Lord of Dale. I am at a loss for words, for there are not any that can explain how much you have done not only for Erebor but Thorin, and especially myself.”

When she pulled away the bowman couldn't help but smile gently, “It would have been wrong of me to just leave him there. The dwarves passed that area and even the structure itself several time, they wouldn't have found him if I left him.” 

“Wrong yes, but it would be understandable.” the woman replied softly. 

“What do you mean?” 

“We were at war with your people, he one of the royals of your enemy. Most warriors would take great pride in killing an heir to a kingdom. In my time I have seen many princes fall in battle, as well as some kings.” 

Bard shook his head at the reply he received, “That is wrong, one should not be slain just because of what lineage they hail from.” 

“Aye, but even so many are. Two of the princes I knew were named Nain, and Frerin. Nain son of Gror son of Dain I. His father was our uncle so we were cousins.”

Bard nodded, and he couldn't help but ask. “Frerin?” 

She smiled but he could see a spark of pain, mourning, and sorrow that entered her eyes. 

“My brother died very young that day. Many lives were lost in the Battle of Azanulbizar we had lost both Nain and Frerin in one day.” 

“I'm sorry...” 

“Do not apologize, sometimes it does me good to talk about him. What made Frerin's death so unbearable was the fact that he was still a dwarfling, not even of age when he was slain. Much younger than both my own boys, I think roughly thirty years. He was forty-eight when he died... far too young to bury. 

Bard had actually expected the young princes to be older than himself and apparently he was right. 

_'Seventy something... wow.'_

“Thorin had found him upon the forest floor amongst all the fallen, he was still breathing when he got to him. Thorin was effected by it the most Frerin died in the arms of our older brother something most can only dream of when it comes to war. When Thorin returned with the survivors, he was never quite the same and he still has yet to return to the older brother I knew back then.”

A smile came to her face abruptly, “Thorin helped me raise them lil' trouble makers, I blame him for Kili's stubbornness.” 

The bowman frowned, “Thorin is their uncle is he not? What of their father, surely you have a husband?”

Dis stared at him a little surprised by the question and the man quickly realized he may have pried a bit too much. “My apologies, that wasn't any of my business.” 

To his surprise she chuckled softly, but when he looked into her brown eyes that seemed to have doubled the sadness that had been there a moment ago, there was also a small spark of happiness within them as well. 

“My Vili was amongst the fallen in the aftermath of Azanulbizar, Thorin found him when he found Frerin for he had jumped right into the path of the blade that was intended to kill my brother. It killed Vili not even minutes afterward but Frerin would die from blood loss as the time passed.”

Bard swallowed thickly, he knew he shouldn't have asked such a question curse ignorance he knew better than that.

He could relate to the dwarrowdam, a lot in fact. His wife had died while giving birth to Tilda, and what a struggle it had been trying to raise three children by himself.

“Praise be to Mahal that my boys were not as effected by the loss of their father as I. They were still very small, Fili doesn't talk much about the topic however I do not think he remembers much he was only seven and Kili was still a wee babe. My brother bless his heart quickly became a substitute father figure, taking it upon himself to help me with the boys. Sometimes I would get questioned if I revealed that he was their uncle.” she chuckled at the last thought.

“Kili does look similar to your king.” he commented.

She laughed again, “Aye, that he does and my Fili looks exactly like his father, golden hair that shone in the sunlight, azure eyes. Kili got that silly devious smile from his father. However the two of them both share Vili's personality in several ways, I know that their father is as proud of them as I am.” 

Bard smiled sympathetically, “You loved him very much.” 

“Yes, more than words can describe but my memories of him are more than enough for me.”

There was a tense silence and the dwarrowdamn realized that he had yet to explain why he was here. 

“So what brings you here Dragonslayer?”

“Oh yes, sorry I was wondering if you would mind I grab something of mine that I seem to have forgotten when I brought Fili back here.”

Dis cocked her head to the side, “You left something here?” 

“Yes, it was a fur lined coat that my wife made me long ago when she was still here. Fili was wearing it when I left him here.” 

At the arched eyebrow he received from the dwarf woman, he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. This was awkward.

“I am aware that the situation is strange, but its...... my wife died during the birth of our youngest child. It is kind of important to me, I know it seems odd.” he explained quietly.

Eyes quickly melted into sympathy and the woman shook her head. “No, it does not. You loved her as I loved my husband and when you love someone that much and you lose them under such situations you start to value anything and everything that reminds you of them.” 

The bowman nodded quietly, feeling the blush edge away slowly. 

“Might I ask why my son was wearing it?” 

His eyes shot up to see a smirk on her face and eyes that seemed to be reading right through him. 

Nope, the blush came back once more.

“I... he wa...... shivering... without a.... he wasn't wearing...” 

Dis roared with laughter at the sudden bout of stuttering that came from the man, he had a feeling she already sensed his emotions. “Not to worry. I remember seeing something like that which you describe in the room where Fili is occupying. I regrettably have to stay out here and keep watch. I shall fetch Dwalin or one of the other dwarves for you.” 

“That's alright, I've been in the castle before I think I know where I'm going. No need to wake them.”

She shifted her eyes a bit she was sure that the man meant no ill will, but she feared how one of the others might react. If she woke one of them up they'd all be up and paranoid about a human being within the walls of Erebor. Honestly she felt was too tired to deal with the male dwarf bravado bullshit right now.

“Aye, Just be quiet please, and come back to the front entrance when you're done.”

**~ - - - ~**

He wandered through the hallways, he honestly felt slightly bad for giving that response to her. Truthfully he had no clue where he was going but he was hoping he may stumble upon Fili possibly, but the thought was kind of outrageous at this ungodly hour.

From down this next hall he saw a door that was slightly ajar and torchlight from inside that caused a glow to appear on floor outside, he could see the shadow of something moving inside. Small wheezing breaths caught his attention. 

Curiosity got the best of him and he approached the door quietly so he could peer into the room.

The sight that awaited him was so emotionally painful that it made him look away for a moment, 

It was Fili, and he was a wreck. He sat on his knees at someone's bedside and he had a feeling he knew who it was. 

Being extremely cautious as to not give away his presence he pushed open the door enough to step inside, then moved it back where it was. 

Turning his attention back to the dwarf, he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, he was right.

It was Thorin Oakenshield upon the bed.

Fili's head was resting against the side of the bed, his shoulders were heaving with sobs that caused wheeze like hiccups with every rise and fall. His right arm was reaching up to hold onto the king's still hand

He couldn't explain this feeling, it was similar to the one he had felt when he carried the wounded dwarf through the icy plains, this unexplainable urge to help the young dwarrow.

Why he did not know himself.

Silently he approached him from behind, when he got close enough he could see the tears dripping off his face onto the stone floor in a tiny puddle. 

He'd clearly been here for a while.

He knelt down behind the young dwarf and reached out a hand.

**~ Now ~**

A hoarse raspy keen tore from Fili's throat, though it sounded more like a shrill squeak. He started to struggle fiercely trying to rise quickly to his feet to fight back, and a surprised gasp from his attacker didn't go unnoticed. 

There were suddenly two strong hands much larger than that of a dwarf kept him down on his knees.

The unwelcome memories that abruptly flooded his head made his body go rigid as fear seeped into his bones. 

_'Aule no... please...'_

Two strong arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, pulling him closer until he felt his back resting against a firm chest. 

_'No...'_

“At ease master dwarf.” a voice spoke calmly into his ear.

_'That almost sounded like Bard? What on middle-earth is he doing here?'_

Fili felt hands trying to turn him around to face the other individual, finding them to indeed be Bard the Bowman, he wiped furiously at his eyes turning his head away when the tears continued to fall.

A gentle hand forced him to turn his head back to the son of man, and he shifted uneasily when the man stared into his eyes. 

He was too close.

“There is no shame in crying for those you love Fili. None at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE THERE THERE!!! YES FINALLY I CAN START THE FILI RELATIONSHIP ANGST!!! 
> 
> This is going to be a blast. 
> 
> A coat.... seriously? A coat. I KNOW EXCUSE ME I KNOW ITS CORNY!!!
> 
> I am aware that Dis might seem a bit..... undwarfly but I couldn't' figure out how to do it and it was going to be a small convo that kinda ended up being.... well this. 
> 
> I both love and hate the result of it.
> 
> .... a coat? ......... oh good god....


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Bard relate apparently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold!! THE ANGST!!!!!

Fíli shifted nervously under the man's intense stare, there was something in those gray eyes that both drew him, but at the same time also made him want to sprint out of the room and hide.

Bard noticed the dark scabbing scar in the lower center of the dwarf's throat and frowned a bit. 

Surely the wound should still be covered until it was completely healed, he couldn't see it very clearly due to the dark lighting and the tilt of Fíli's head.

The two just sat for a couple moments until Bard reached out a hand to his neck likely to see if he'd healed.

Fíli scowled, narrowing his eyes his right hand came up and smacked the man's hand away.

The bowman pulled away looking at the dwarf like he'd been burned.

“I'm sorry Fíli, I was worried. The dwarves told me that they would let me know if you lived and I hadn't heard a word since I brought you back here.” he explained quietly

Blue eyes softened slightly, but a troubled look replaced the anger that had lifted.

He suddenly found himself pondering over reasons why the man would be concerned over his safety. They had been enemies on the battlefield after all.

“Are you alright?”

When the dwarf averted his eyes to the floor, Bard had an idea of what it meant.

“You can't speak?” he asked, though it sounded more a statement than a question.

The dwarf didn't reply, but he saw the dwarf's eyes well with tears. 

Bard felt for the young dwarrrow he knew they should be thankful that it wasn't vision that he'd lost, but having to learn to communicate differently was going to be a challenge for him surely. 

Fíli looked over his shoulder to glance back up at the still figure of his uncle on the bed. 

_'Things just keep getting worse.'_

His attention was diverted when he felt two hands on his shoulders again, he whipped his head in Bard's direction and saw warm gray eyes watching him carefully. 

When he suddenly felt his small body being pulled closer to the man's chest, and strong arms wrapping around his shoulders he tensed. 

The dragon slayer frowned upon feeling the body beneath him shudder against him.

“Do you know what I am afraid of Master Dwarf?” the man inquired even though he was aware he wouldn't receive an answer.

He sat in silence with the young dwarf for a moment before he continued speaking.

“My biggest fear is losing my children, or them losing me. For if that were to happen they would have no one but each other because their mother died while giving birth Tilda. Death is my biggest fear, but I would put myself in front of dragon fire to save all three of them if I had to. I love them so.”

Fíli found some odd comfort in these word, it almost sounded like someone he knew. In his jumbled mind he couldn't place who it was exactly.

When Bard felt the dwarf's body slowly become less rigid with tension he knew it was working.

“Hunting down Smaug was not as easy for me as the people have made it out to be. In all honesty I had never been so scared in all my life, not even when my wife was dying with me at her bedside. I wanted nothing more than to turn around, find my children, and leave. Had Lake Town a strong, responsible leader I do not doubt I would have done just that.” 

He paused again when his thoughts drifted to the late lord of Lake Town.

_'That selfish coward.'_

Fíli looked up for a moment to see Bard staring straight ahead of him, not paying him any mind and scrunch up his nose in disgust and a dramatic roll of his gray eyes. 

The corner of the blond's mouth lifted into a crooked grin, he'd seen his uncle make such a face once it was truly an amusing yet awful expression. 

Bard was clearly telling him things he did not share much with others, he could see it earlier when he started talking about his wife that these were sensitive topics. 

Not wanting to seem rude at such a serious time, he bit his bottom lip tightly.

“But nooo, instead Lake Town had that cowardly, selfish, diabolical, disgusting, rotting piece of shit.” 

The utter seriousness, hate, spite, loathing, disgust, and just generally pissedoffness in Bard's voice with that expression on his face, made Fíli deadpan for a moment before he couldn't' contain himself and gave. He quickly buried his face in the man's chest to try to hide his untimely laughter. 

Bard quickly looked down at the dwarf feeling the trembling of his shoulders and the sudden action itself.

The dragon-slayer had a mixed look of a frown and a smirk at the same time he wasn't quite sure what happened but apparently Fíli found something in that insult funny, well he'd assume it was the insult.

He waited patiently until Fíli calmed himself and pulled away again. 

“There was so much destruction. The memories of Smaug will haunt me until the day I die.” 

Bard had gotten Fíli's attention now, but when Fíli looked up he saw a distant look in the man's eyes. 

He glanced down at Fíli momentarily. “You were in Lake Town when Smaug attacked. Do you remember how hot dragon fire is? I can still feel it on my skin.” 

The dwarf nodded in response, watching with concern as Bard looked back up to stare straight ahead again spacing off. 

“It was so loud, creaking of timber, people screaming.. dying, and Smaug's roar every time he flew over the town unleash more fire was deafening. Someone had to do something, Smaug would likely follow after the survivors and kill them as well. If no one did anything I knew my children would have been killed, and I couldn't let that happen.” 

Fíli's eyes widened in surprise, he couldn't believe what he was hearing as he tied two and two together.

_'He would do anything for his children, much like I would do anything for Kíli and Kíli for me.'_

Bard reminded him of himself a little bit, willing to break every bone in his body to keep people safe rather than do something because it's the right thing to do.

For the first time in several years he actually saw some good in a man, and that alone surprised him considering what happened. 

Heck when the bowman had found him all he wanted to do was strike the man down and bolt, but he wasn't able to in his wounded condition. 

The man was still recalling Smaug even as he pondered over these similarities and he noticed glassy eyes and a single tear rolling down a cheek. 

It was different and rather upsetting to see Bard the Bowman crying, probably because he'd only been used to seeing strength, dominance, and fierceness on his handsome face, not tears. 

“Bane was on the watch tower with me when I killed Smaug...” 

He felt his own eyes start to burn fiercely as he willed himself not to cry. 

“That vile serpent told me I wouldn't be able to save him and that he would burn with the city. Even after I shot the beast out of the sky, Smaug's chilling words seemed so realistic at the time... there was so much fire and it was hard to breathe, to see through all the smoke. I stared into my son's eyes as I shot that arrow over his shoulder.... ” 

Bard was snapped out of his recollection when he felt gentle fingers on his face, and it was then did he realize he had started crying. 

When he looked down he saw worried cerulean eyes that were glassy with tears, staring up at him sympathetically, hopefully, expectantly.

He stared back into the blue pools with his own gray and he spotted something that both relieved and concerned him a little bit.

_'Is that need? Desire? Lust even?'_

Carefully he took the smaller hand into his own and continued to gaze over the young dwarf's face, he felt the blond's body lean against him a bit more. 

_**“I do believe that should make it at least a little easier to get in. I won't lie it is going to hurt a lot, but since you've been good so far I will try to be as gentle as I can.”** _

~ - - - ~ 

_'Fili that man is dead. Thorin tracked him down and killed him remember?'_

_'I know Kee.... it's just difficult...'_

_'What are you so afraid of? You never told me what happened that night!'_

_'Kili please...'_

 _'Kili! Enough, leave your brother be please.'_

~ - - - ~

The heated conversation with his brother quickly faded from his mind, and he shifted uncomfortably.

_**“You are trembling, are you frightened?”** _

Something dark then sparked deep within the dwarf's eyes and the panic that flooded into them did not go unnoticed, when Fíli quickly pulled himself free of his grasp. 

A very light blush had spread across his cheeks but that scowl, oh man it was almost as scary as Thoirn arguing with Thranduil. 

The sound of heavy footsteps echoed down the corridor and caught both of their attention. 

Bard swallowed nervously and Fíli looked just as anxious. 

Finally Dís's voice rang through their ears.

“Fíli, sweetheart are you- “ she trailed off as she stepped into the room and saw Bard whom she'd met several minutes ago. “...in here?” 

She looked from a nervous looking Bard, to a clearly flustered son of hers who had a light blush that was quickly deepening in color.

There was an awkward silence between the three for several moments, until a grin broke out on the dwarowdam's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, Dis sees what they did there. XD ;_; Fili be all like "Why does mom know everything!?" XD 
> 
> *Low whistle* All the drama, drama, I was tempted to have Kili walking in looking for Fili and have a heated argument take place but then I decided to do it this way. 
> 
> I felt it kind of important for Bard to reveal some of his own troubles.... because well.... Fili kinda can't at the moment so him telling him stuff was kinda ruled out.
> 
> Some of these next few chapters are going to have a lot of memories in-between what's going on in the present just warning you now!!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it!


	13. Chapter 13

When Dís had come in here to see if she could find Fíli who had silently wandered out of bed, she was not expecting the this at all. 

**~ Memory ~**

_She could feel Kíli's concerned eyes as he watched her trembling hands chop the vegetables for the stew she was making for supper for tomorrow night._

_Early as it was to be making supper for the following day, she couldn't help it even despite the absurd hour that she was awake just to be cooking._

_Dís didn't know what to do, she was terrified, Fíli had been gone for almost eight hours now, it was roughly four in the morning now and she hadn't slept at all._

_Kíli had stayed up with her, and he could tell she was trying to keep calm._

_When Fíli hadn't come home around ten, even though she didn't give him a time to get his butt back home she became concerned._

_Fíli was normally the one who liked his sleep unlike Kíli who was a night owl on those rare occasions, so he tended to be home at eleven at the latest._

_She had been hoping that he may have met up with Thorin and they'd come home together, but when her brother come home around midnight to evening with no golden haired dwarf behind him, she panicked._

_Thorin had sat there dumbfounded as she gushed her worries and pleas to go find him._

_Reluctant as her brother was knowing that Fíli was going out drinking for the first time, likely to come home smashed would be a new experience for him, he marched out the door._

_They'd been up waiting for him ever since._

_Dís jumped when she felt tentative hands over her own, she turned her head and saw her youngest standing behind her with those big brown eyes so sad and anxious._

_She didn't say a word, just stared at him._

_“Mum, you're tired.” his voice reached her ears._

_“I need to make sure he'll be okay when he gets home.”_

_Gentle hands pried the knife from her grip and set it down on the wooden counter._

_“Aye, but you've been standing in that exact same spot for six hours... please you need to lay down.”_

_Her little Kíli, he sounded so scared but she could tell he was trying be stronger than he really should be._

_“Your brother-”_

_“Uncle will find him they'll come home, I'll wake you when they do. I can stay up! I feel lots better already.”_

_She scoffed at his statement._

_“Oy, ye know I can! I do it all the time.” he insisted looking a bit offeneded._

_“Aye, I know you can Kíli... “_

_“Please mum you'll make yourself sick with worry...” he paused before adding 'literally' at the end of it._

_He was right, she was had started to feel light headed not that long ago, she was exhausted._

_“Aye, but you wake me right when you see them outside the door.”_

_“Aye.”_

_**~ - - - ~** _

_“Ma!” the sound of her son's terrified call had her out of bed in a flash._

_She came running to the front entrance to find Kíli standing in the doorway brown eyes slowly becoming glassy._

_“Kíli, love scooch I cannot see.” she ushered to her taller son who quickly moved out of the way._

_The sight she saw froze her on spot, she had to be dreaming.... please tell her she was dreaming._

_There was her brother, he'd dismounted his pony and stood beside it fiddling with the reins for a moment._

_He was speaking to someone softly and when she moved closer she saw that he was speaking to Fíli... was that Fíli....?_

_It was, and he looked like he could be mistaken for a corpse he looked so sickly._

_She watched her brother pull him down off his pony so he could gather him into his arms, “It's alright lad. I know.”_

_His voice was gentle, a tone she rarely heard from her brother these days._

_When Thorin turned had turned around she had expected to see relief flood his eyes, but she was shocked when she saw fear instead, and when he spotted Kíli discomfort joined it._

_Fíli had a sheet wrapped tightly around his body and a warmer blanket hung loosely around his limp form._

_“Fíli....” she heard Kíli whisper with disbelief._

_Thorin approached until he was standing right in front of her, there was a grim silence as no one said a word._

_When she finally tore her eyes away from Fíli's broken figure she met Thorin's eyes._

_Dís opened her mouth to speak but she didn't know what to say, so she reached a hand forward and ran it through golden waves._

_“Dís.” Thorin's baritone came to her ears._

_Casting her eyes up she watched her brother incline his head toward Kíli and lowered his voice for her ears only. “Occupy him with something Dís, this is something I need to speak to you with privately.”_

_It took a moment for the dwarrowdam to register the words that were spoken but she did as she was told, “Kíli, go heat some water please.”_

_The younger dwarf hesitated for a moment, the urge to stay by his brother's side overwhelming but when Dís called his name softly in that motherly tone of hers he caved and scampered off to do what he was asked._

_A soft groan from her other child captured her attention right away, turning on her heel she looked at Thorin with worried and frustrated eyes._

_Fíli shifted slightly in his uncle's arms and it was just now that she realized Fíli was awake but not seeming to comprehend what was happening around him._

_“What's wrong with him Thorin? Where were you? What happened?!”_

_The older dwarrow let out an exhausted sigh upon being bombarded with questions._

_“The boy's just sedated sister, but he is far from alright. I've been with him all night we were at Dwalin's he-”_

_“What?!” She hissed, keeping her voice down so Kíli wouldn't accidentally hear._

_“I had intended to send a message to let you know, but I didn't want Kíli to be home alone. Plus the lad didn't want me to leave his side... he's been through hell sister.”_

_Dís froze, “What happened to him Thorin?”_

_When he hesitated to reply she asked again with more force and he decided to comply._

_“He was violated.”_

_The dwarrow female's eyes widened three times their normal size at her brother's bluntness._

_Horror and sadness sparked through her veins like fire, “What...?”  
“Aye, I found him in the cellar on the outside of the pub, poor lad was bound and gagged, laying in a pool of blood stark naked.” _

_“Oh Aule... brother tell me yer joking...”_

_Thorin opened his mouth but closed it again he didn't know what to tell her._

_“.... Thorin please....”_

_“I cannot... I am so very sorry sister.” he replied, wincing as he saw the tears start to flow freely down her face._

_Fíli shifted uncomfortably, but she could tell he was starting to become more alert._

_“Dís, he needs rest. I want to keep him and Kíli apart for right now, until I can explain it all. Kíli needn't know about the real cause for this, the last thing Fíli needs is Kíli badgering him with questions. Fíli's not himself right now.”_

_The dwarrowdam bit her bottom lip nervously, but she had to agree with her brother on this one._

_When Fíli let out a keen and looked around she sniffed back her tears for the moment at least, and placed a gentle hand against his face. “F-Fíli... my love its alright...”_

_“M-Ma....?” he asked softly, his voice gave a small hitch as he did so._

_“Aye.”_

**~ (End Memory) ~**

Her son was never quite the same after that, well around men mostly. 

At first shortly after he'd recovered, when a man even walked into a room he'd just shut down. Sometimes it'd trigger a panic attack, or he'd try to hide and of course given how small Fíli was that itself was fairly easy. 

Gradually he got better, and to this day he'd been able to tolerate the presence of men, even though one could tell he was uncomfortable.

That was why she was stunned to see her son practically in the arms of the dragon slayer she'd met recently. 

Her first thought of course was that she was going insane, but when Fíli's face flushed red, she knew she wasn't seeing things.

It seemed that this man had earned her son's trust somehow. Perhaps it was because he saved his life?

She didn't know for certain, but whatever he'd done she was grateful because he could help Fíli get passed the trauma he'd had for the longest time if he stuck around long enough.

“I knew I had sensed some other motives from you Bard the Dragon Slayer.” 

Fíli looked at her with a bewildered expression on his face when Bard started to rise to his feet. 

“I apologize, I can explain.” 

“Nonsense. I would have you join me for a walk after I get this one back to bed.”

Dís turned to Fíli who's face was a bright crimson by now, she shook a hand at him.

“Fíli you stubborn boy, I know this is hard, but you cannot go marching about Erebor when you're not properly healed yet. That wound should be covered or do you want an infection to form?” 

Blue eyes were blown wide, and his cheeks kept darkening by the moment upon being admonished by his mother in front of someone who wasn't family. 

“Up with you, come on let's go.” 

Bard stood there watching the exchange with a crooked smile, when he saw a pout form on Fíli's plump lips. 

It wasn't but several minutes later that Bard found himself walking with the dwarrowdam back up to the rampart where she had been on watch.

“M'lady, I meant no disrespect, he was clearly distressed and I-”

Dís chuckled at his hesitation. “Lord Bard, I know my son far too well, and I can see the hesitance you both have.”

Bard stopped in his tracks. “What do you mean?” 

The dwarrowdam scoffed, turning around placing her hands on her hips. 

“Please, I may be old but I can still certainly tell when someone is in love.” 

All the color left the man's face. “I... what...?” 

“I'll make this as simple as possible for you. Dwarves can only fall in love once, it's called finding your one in our culture. So before you go getting my boy reeled in I have to ask you a quesiton.”

Scarlet started to creep up the man's neck, feeling rather flustered he responded with a meek 'yes?' 

“Do you love my son?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these next chapters might be more Kili centered, if not they'll have a lot to do with Kili and his relationship between his brother I'm kinda just rolling with it!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis sheds some light to Bard of her opinion. 
> 
> Plotting is ahead.

Bard bit his lip nervously, thinking over the words. 

_'That would definitely explain why I've this constant need to be with him...'_

_'Explains why I'm drawn to him for some reason.'_

_'I've been with another man but once before I met my wife, so it very well could be.'_

_'He's very attractive.'_

_'Why the fuck didn't I realize this earlier?'_

Dís cocked her head to the side, it was rather amusing watching the man's facial expressions as he came to his conclusion.

The expressions and the fact that his blush kept darkening by the moment.

Finally the man looked down meeting her eyes.

“I do m'lady.” 

The light that flew to her brown eyes at the declaration and her loud squeal of excitement shocked him greatly.

“I... y-you're happy with this?” he stuttered.

She paused to look at him questioningly, “Of course I am!” 

“Forgive me... I just assumed that-” 

There was a silence for a moment as she pondered over the man's words some.

“Oh, you mean my brother?”

The man cleared his throat awkwardly.

Dís scoffed at this, “Pfft, Thorin holds too many grudges. E's always brooding over something or another. Don' you worry about him. I'll take care of hi-” she trailed off in mid-sentence a sadness coming to her eyes briefly.

The silence seemed to grow rather grim as Bard stood there not quite sure what to say.

A grin came back to her face, “When he wakes up. Which he will no doubt. Just wait.”

He couldn't help but smile at her determination, stubborn til the end dwarves were apparently.

“As pleased as I am that I have your approval, I do not think your son feels the same way I do.”

That sadness came back to her eyes and dear creators it looked so broken, this sorrow clearly ran deeper than all the losses she'd told him about so far. 

Had he said something offensive?

“He's shown interest I can assure you that.” 

“He told you of me?” 

“Nay, but I know my son's better than anyone in middle-earth. He looks at you with a fondness and admiration, I saw it in his eyes moments ago.” 

“I don't understand.” 

The dwarrowdam let out a sad sigh, and raised her sad eyes to meet his.

“There be a reason for why he acts so skittish around you, which I'm more than certain ye've seen a few times already?”

“I figured he was just anxious. Is that not?”

She shook her head sadly again “No, though I will explain more once we get to the rampart where we can talk privately.” 

It didn't take long either and soon Bard found himself sitting on the hard stone atop the building and she was sitting on a fallen pillar that would need repairing.

“What I am about to tell you, cannot reach his or anyone else's. He would never forgive me if he found out I told you.”

When Bard made it clear that he would keep the information to himself, she started to explain her voice was heavy with pain.

“Fíli has trouble trusting sons of man.” 

Thinking over what was just said he couldn't help but speculate a little bit. “Someone hurt him?” 

Dís nodded, “Aye, that they did. In more ways than he could handle at the time. It was his coming of age and he coming back home from the pub when it happened.” 

A feeling of dread started to rise in Bard's gut, he had a feeling he already knew where this story was going.

“Three men grabbed him, tied him down while one defiled him.” 

He swallowed thickly, yeah he was right. 

“They raped him?” 

A couple tears strolled down her cheeks when she turend to look at him. “Aye.”  
That explains a lot.

“He was also stabbed and left to die. My brother found laying in a massive pool of blood, this is one of the reasons Thorin holds a grudge toward man, he almost died. Thorin couldn't wait to get help when they got back to the house, he ended up needing to cauterize the wound himself.” 

Slowly he rose to his feet and approached Dís and when she looked up again she was surprised to feel strong arms wrap around her when she was level with the man's chest.

 _'I can see why Fíli is fond of him now, such a sweet lad.'_

When Bard pulled away she smiled gratefully and wiped the tears from her face.

“I would never do something like that, and that should not have happened. Prior to learning this, I thought his reaction when I found him in those ruins were caused by his injuries and we were at war. Never would I have guessed something like this.” 

“No, no it shouldn't have. Thank you. I realize now why my son is gradually becoming hooked on you. He does not meet a lot of men who would help dwarves and if I understand right you allowed him and his brother to stay in your home when Kíli was suffering from poison. That saved his life, and you will always have Fíli's gratitude for that. You also saved his life when you brought him back here instead of leaving him to die as so many others would. Please this must stay between the two of us, do not ever bring it up, he should tell you what happened when he's ready. If there's one thing that's a for sure about my son it is that he values actions more than words, but you seem to have a way with both.” 

He chuckled, “I'm not sure about the last one, but I do know that I couldn't just let them die, it would have been far too cruel.”

Dís beamed widely at this and clapped her hands together once. “I think you two would be good for one another. Even though with you it does not ail me terribly, I still have to advise ye not to advance too quickly and pay close attention to his responses. Now the question is how will ya do it.” 

“Ah, I'm sure I'll figure something out M'lady.”

 **~ (Two Weeks Later) ~**

It had been a couple weeks since that particular night, and Fíli was relieved a bit.

The good news was that the elders had decided to accept his wish to wait four months before he was crowned, yes reluctantly he had accepted the throne. 

For the time being that choice had been between just the two elders, Dáin, and his mother, he wasn't wanting it out in the open right now.

Thorin had yet to show improvement and Fíli desperately remained hopeful.

Kíli was again confined to bed and it was driving his brother bonkers, he had been given the okay that he could leave his room as long as he was careful.

However, just his brother's luck he had slipped in the bathing room and landed on his side rather violently. 

_'Poor Kíli, the bad luck always goes to him.'_ he smiled quietly to himself.

Though he was becoming increasingly concerned for his brother's health, it almost seemed like he was losing it.

Mentally that is.

The other day Fíli was trying to teach Kíli some more advanced Iglishmek since that was what he used these days, and it almost seemed like Kíli was having trouble using the signs he had already known. 

Like the easy stuff, like brother for example. Kíli had always recognized that one, but when he signed “You are old brother.” in jest for Kíli to read aloud for him, he was shocked when Kíli read “Uncle was always cranky?” then proceeded with making his own comment of 'Well yeah, a good majority of the time.'

He knew something was wrong but he wanted further evidence before going to Óin or letting their mother know. 

_'She'd fly off the walls with panic.'_ he thought quietly.

Currently Fíli shuffled along down the path to Dale, where his mom had told him that she needed him to deliver a letter to Bard. 

When he had asked why she didn't just send a raven, she had waved him off and told him he needed to get out for a little bit.

That smug smirk that she gave him, was a little nerve-wracking though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself for the next chapter because tiny tiny sparks are gonna fly!


	15. Chapter 15

After having looked around quite throughly he'd bumped into Sigrid who he talked to for a few moments or more flailed his arms is more like it. Afterward he'd asked the whereabouts of her father was... through a bunch of frustrating gestures.

He found the dragon slayer down by the lake, standing on the bank. Just standing there quietly while he looked over the ruins of Lake Town that were only partially submerged. 

The man's back was turned to him so he was yet undetected and honestly he wanted nothing more than to turn around and just walk back home. He was so anxious, and the thought of being alone out here at night with a stranger brought up some unwanted memories to mind.

Well, Bard could exactly be considered a stranger, he supposed he still had some issues with the fact that he was quickly developing strong feelings for a man. 

Though the bowman seemed kind hearted he knew how people can easily fool you.

Ever since that horrid night back home, well the home he'd always known in Ered Luin he'd had trust issues he would fess to that. 

The hardest part for him was the fact that he hadn't the courage to tell Kíli what had happened, and he knew that had really upset him. 

Uncle hadn't wished to tell Kíli at first and their mother agreed.

Then something bad happened. 

Since Thorin had been trying to help him recover from the injuries that he'd received from the incident , and didn't have the time to help his brother with his archery, Kíli had gone off for what was supposed to be a week on a hunt with Balin and Dwalin. Which was great Kíli has always admired Dwalin and he enjoys spending time with the dwarven warrior.

Though, four days after they had left, they got a knock on the door in the middle of the night. 

Thorin had been smoking in his chair near the mantle, reading something, which by the way was actually something he did a lot in his spare time, if wanted his input.

His uncle opened the door and found a sopping wet Dwalin carrying an equally soaked Kíli who had the older dwarf's fur draped over his shoulders.

Apparently he'd fallen into the river, he just passed out randomly. 

It had happened when the sun had almost been completely down so there was not very much light, and when the current just started to drag his brother down the river til he lost sight of him, he thought he wouldn't find him. 

He and Balin had searched for hours, he actually had Balin make a fire and they had to use makeshift torches for light. 

They had passed the vast rapids and were nearing the waterfall which had been in plain view when they found him, he was not even fifty feet away from the waterfall that plunged straight down, he was clinging to a large rock like he'd die if he let go, and sweet aule, that is exactly what would have happened!

It took them nearly an hour to reach him, they couldn't just jump in and risk being swept away too, well you could say that they might have well just jumped in anyways.

Yep, it happened anyway. 

Unfortunately, his brother has always had an unreal amount of misfortune when it came to luck being on his side.

_'Luck? What luck?'_

Despite the two older dwarven brother's careful planning to get something across for a way to get over to Kíli, as soon as Dwalin had gotten hold of Kíli the log that had been used was snapped in half when another large log came from upstream and struck the middle of it at the vast speed from the powerful current. 

Both of them had been plunged into the freezing rampaging waters and straight toward the vast waterfall's sixty to seventy foot drop of water. 

Thankfully Dwalin had been able to get to Kíli before they went down, and held onto his brother with an iron grip that actually cracked a rib and left several bruises, so they wouldn't get separated again. 

As soon as he had watched his younger brother fall into the water as well, he'd hopped on one of the ponies and made his way down the rugged steep drops of the cliff sides along one of the paths that led up to the riverbed.

He was not even a fifth of the way down the rocky hills when he saw the two younger dwarves reach the edge to the drop.

God damned spawns of Mordor! Dwalin confessed that he was praying the whole time they went over that thing, and if Dwalin thought they were going to die, that tells you just how serious of a situation it was.

Balin actually admitted that he about crapped his trousers when he saw the two dwarves start to fall down, down, down and disappeared under the water, barely missing a deadly patch of jagged rocks in the process by five maybe eight feet. 

Of course bless the fathers, the current was not even close to being half as strong as it had been before the drop so he was actually able to make it to the side of the riverbank and grab onto some old tree roots. 

From there it didn't take long to get out of the water, poor Kíli was so exhausted he couldn't even stand up. 

While Dwalin had bandaged his brother's chest for the cracked rib as that was one of the basic things a lot of dwarves know, it was if it was a clean break that most sought out a healer, Kíli reluctantly explained that he hadn't slept for almost nine days because he was driving himself mad with worry that he was no longer able to sleep, and he couldn't stop because he didn't want to lose his only brother if there was something he could have done to help.

Dwalin explained this to Thorin privately and when his uncle suggested it, by Durin, he had pretty much gotten down on his knees and clung to the the only father figure he'd ever really known and begged. 

Thorin told him they had to tell him something so he'd stop his fussing because this was torturing Kíli too, as if he had to be reminded how much they care about each other, and how close they've always been.

So he allowed Thorin to explain everything, but he had to leave out any indications of the horrid defilement that had been forced upon him. 

Kíli of course bought the story from their uncle, but he knew something had been left out and to this day he still doesn't know.

To be honest, he'd stopped talking to his mom about the incident years ago it was too humiliating, and he felt more... comfortable talking about it with Thorin because... well he'd obviously understand some of what went on in that cellar. 

He'd have these random periods of time where his anxiety and thoughts could focus on nothing but the incident itself and most of the events that followed, but they hadn't acted up since they were in the Woodland Realm. 

Thank god Thorin had been able to persuade the elves into allowing him to move into his cell with him, that incident god how embarrassing he just lost it. 

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he focused on the bowman who stood quietly.

_'I don't know how the hell I am going to communicate with him, I really do not wish to have the need for flailing my arms around like a fool. Sweet Mahal, this is going to be awkward.'_

Swallowing his fear as best he could he quietly approached the man from behind. 

A small devious smirk played upon his face as he thought of something.

Making sure his presence was completely unnoticed, the small dwarf came up to stand beside the man but didn't attempt to do anything else, he just stood there. When Bard ignored him he knew that he didn't see him.

It was times like this that he really enjoyed his dwarven height, it had its advantages. 

Several minutes passed by, and still he didn't get a reaction from the man. 

_'Phase two.'_

Slowly, very slowly Fíli bent down to pick up a rock before slowly rising to stand again. 

He let out s small breath when he looked up, pleased to see that Bard's attention hadn't been diverted from the movement.

Putting his 'serious face' on, he tossed the rock underhand where it landed with an loud sploosh.

Bard's body tensed and he turned around looking for the source of the rock. 

“Who's there?” he asked firmly. 

Fíli was even more pleased or more relieved when he realized that Bard had come here disarmed, likely because all the orcs, goblins, wargs were officially cleared out a week ago.

Bard was eyeing the area thoroughly so he quickly moved to stand in front or well now behind where the man formerly faced. 

He stood staring at the man's back, waiting for the man's reaction when he turned back around. A wide grin broke out upon his face. Maybe he could startle him, or oh sweet Mahal what if he tripped him!? 

Sure enough eventually the bowman turned back around, but he let a small cry when his knees bumped into something that hadn't been their previously.

To Fíli's disappointment it had sounded more confused than scared, but it was still funny.  
Serious face back on, he stared up at the man, watching as Bard tipped his head and spotted Fíli rather quickly.

They stared for a moment, “You surprised me Fíli.” he stated rather bluntly. 

Fíli gave him a warm friendly smile, even though it was likely hard to see with just moonlight in the sky.

“What brings you out here so late, is something wrong?” 

The dwarf huffed and slowly lowered himself to sit on the ground and the bowman did the same.

He shook his head and stared over the water, not knowing how to answer in a way the man would understand without gesturing like a fool. 

A gentle hand gripped his chin to turn his head back to gain his attention.

The dwarf about fainted watching in amazement as Bard asked him the same question using Igleshmek 

His mouth dropped open in shock, the man knew Igleshmek? But how?

 **'You know Igleshmek?'**

Bard nodded, “Your friend Balin has been teaching me of your culture.” 

Fíli blinked before signing. **'Why?'**

The man opened his mouth to reply but he honestly couldn't think of an excuse, the real reason he'd wanted to learn was so he would know how to communicate with the blond prince with his condition.

Noticing the hesitation a blush started to form on Fíli's cheeks. **'For me?'**

“Ah... yes....?” Bard fessed softly.

 **'Well that was thoughtful of you.'** Fíli shifted nervously.

“So what brings you here at this time of night?” 

He grabbed the letter from inside his coat, and hesitantly replied. **'I came to deliver a message from my mother.'**

“Ah, she must be inquiring about Sigrid again. She spends time with her quite a bit.”

**'I did not know that, that's nice. Mom has someone she can relate to a bit more I think. Your daughter's temper reminds me of mum.'**

Bard laughed at that, “Yes, her mother had quite the fuse.”

Fíli smiled, but Bard noticed that the atmosphere around him changed a little bit.  
The dwarf kept averting his eyes to the water, and he had begun to wring his hands silently.

Leaving it to chance he started to speak, “Fíli, you need not be shy. I can tell you want to say something.”

A huff and a pout was his response, likely that dwarven stubbornness at work.

He didn't move so the man let out a sigh, “Alright then, I'll ask yo-”

Bard stopped in mid-sentence when Fíli took hold of his arm, moved closer until he was leaning against his side. 

“Or.... maybe I don't even need to......”

Fíli continued to stare over the water in deep thought.

**~ (Flashback) ~**

_**“I do believe that should make it at least a little easier to get in. I won't lie it is going to hurt a lot, but since you've been good so far I will try to be as gentle as I can.”**_

_As soon as the words left Carahir's lips his panic had been renewed, he just wanted to wake up from this horrendous nightmare._

_“I cannot believe that I am about to fuck a dwarven prince into these floorboards. I'll make sure this is a night you shall remember for the rest of your life, and from what I understand that could be a couple centuries couldn't it?”_

_Fíli squeezed his eyes together tightly trying so desperately to block out everything that was going on, but when he felt the man's erection pressing against him that was proved impossible._

_Despite the pain he put upon himself for the action, he raised two trembling arms up to push against the man's chest._

_A violent rage erupted in the man's eyes and before he could comprehend what happened, Carahir had drawn back his hand and slapped him hard across the face._

_His head snapped to the side hitting the wooden floor with a thud._

_Everything was spinning having been dazed from the blow it didn't take him long to regain his focus and Carahir was taken by surprise when Fíli's struggles roared to life._

_Fíli's knee jammed into his chest, it almost knocked all the wind out of him, but somehow he managed to remain on top of the golden dwarf gasping for air._

_With how much blood the dwarf had lost, he was surprised he still had enough strength to deliver such a blow._

_It was only when he managed to clear his focus again did he realize the dwarf had started screaming, muffled or not it was still pretty shrill._

_Frustrated by the constant defiance he grabbed a handful of blond and pulled until he was able to haul the dwarf into a sitting position._

_“Fine then, I'll play it rough you little shit.” Carahir snarled viciously._

_In one swift movement the man had seized both of his wrists and tied them together once more._

_The young dwarf could only watch in horror as Carahir sat up on his knees and reached for something across the floor._

_**'Mahal please, I don't want to do this please make him stop!'**_

_He couldn't see it, the man's chest blocked his line of view, the shine of a red coated blade met his eye too late._

_Another agonizing hot pain assaulted his shoulder again forcing a series of shrieks and muffled keens from his throat._

_It took him a moment to realize that Carahir had stabbed the knife back into his shoulder over the same wound he'd been given earlier._

_His cries caught in his throat when a large hand wrapped around it with a constricting force. “I hope your ancestors see this dwarf. I hope they will be rolling in their graves at what I'm about to do to you.”_

_**'I am more than certain they already are.'**_ _he thought pitifully._

_Carahir's hand had never left the handle of his knife and he kept his hold on it as he sat back on the floor with his legs sprawled out in front of him._

_“Come here.”_

_Fíli took in the posture the man held now with one glance at his large erection standing proudly from between his legs, it didn't take long to figure out what he was meant to do._

_Blue eyes, red from all the crying widened in absolute horror at the realization, and he shook his head a couple of incomprehensible pleas slipped out from beneath the fabric that had been so cruelly stuffed in his mouth._

_The other eyes darkened again, and a blinding pain had him shrieking in agony as Carahir jammed the handle of the knife to the left causing the embedded blade to shift, further worsening the wound from the inside._

_It hurt, it hurt so very badly that he felt like he could quite possibly pass out from the intense pain it was causing._

_“I said come here.” he ordered with more firmness._

_When he tried to pull away he felt the man tug threateningly on the handle, and he reluctantly shifted forward so he wouldn't have to feel the sting of the blade sliding from his flesh._

_Carahir of course smirked at the reaction, “Now, I say again, come here.”_

_Fíli whimpered but obeyed, slowly climbing into the son of man's lap so that his smaller legs were on both sides of his hips._

_The hand finally released its hold on the blade still buried into his body, having succeeded in getting him to do what the man wanted._

_He kept his head down, he didn't want to see the disgusting triumph on his face._

_“Good boy.”_

_The young dwarf had suddenly become aware that the knots holding his wrists together hadn't been tied very securely, even though he had a feeling Carahir did this on purpose._

_Another screech sounded when the man yanked the knife out of his chest again, tossing to the side._

_Fuck he just wanted to die right now._

_Two large hands found his hips, pulling upwards teasingly. “Are you ready?”_

_He didn't even bother to respond, he knew he couldn't fight him now._

_“Perfect.”_

_Another whine tore its way from his throat when the hands lifted him up so that the man could line himself up._

_By the time he felt the hard organ pressing against his entrance, he'd cried so much that he couldn't even feel the tears upon his face anymore to know if he was still crying or not._

_“Don't worry, I'll be kind.”_

_Right after those words were spoken, his eyes were blown wide when the man buried himself inside him with one swift thrust of his hips._

_Mahal's fucking ponies! It was the worst pain he'd ever felt!_

_His body went rigid against the human, and what would normally be a scream of unbearable pain even if gagged, was just a tiny squeak of shock._

_That's pretty much what he could describe as his reaction as a whole, shock._

_He'd never felt pain like this before and it was maddening, he couldn't block anything out it was all he could think about._

_A disgustingly please moan came from the son of man's lips._

_“Oh damn the creators... you are tight...oh fuck … ngggh... so warm... ” he panted out._

_Fíli was disgusted with himself, he could still feel the warmth of arousal pooling in his belly._

_His body apparently liked it, but he personally wasn't amused or enjoying this at all._

_Sure he was a virgin, but he'd always had an assumption of what... intimacy was supposed to be like, and it most certainly was not like this._

_A couple more tears dripped down off his chin, landing on his chest._

_**'Not supposed to happen like this. Supposed to be gentle, loving, careful, intimate, willing.'**_ _he thought to himself._

_This was none of those._

_Carahir lifted his hips again and pulled out almost all the way before forcing him back down to ram himself inside again._

_“Oh fuck... Fíli you feel.... so good.... ahh... around me....”_

_It was those words that made him break down. Not knowing what to do, being defiled as such, being helpless to do anything about tit, the pain, the fear, the shame of his own weakness, all of it was too much._

_He let his forehead rest against the man's broad chest, where he proceeded to start sobbing hysterically._

_Carahir looked around the room, finally spotting Fíli's dagger about an arms length way, where it had landed from the scuffle with his companions he picked it up admiring the craftsmanship for a moment._

_He lifted an impressed eyebrow briefly._

_Though the piece was obviously pretty old, possibly a knife handed down to the young prince through several generations? It was still a rather interesting piece, despite the fact that the blade had become a bit loose from the base of the grip._

_If the blade weren't just an inch short longer, the dagger could have easily been mistaken for a short sword. The grip had th width of a standard short sword, and it was long enough for one, but the blade length and craft proved to him that it was meant for a dagger._

_An oddly yet sophisticated craftsmanship._

_His eyes widened suddenly as an idea came to him._

_**'The grip....'**_ _a smirk played upon his face as he examined the wide hilt of the dagger._

_Now, he could have some fun with that._

_Though it took a little bit of effort due to one hand still being occupied with the dwarf's hips, he snapped the blade from the base and looked it over._

_The fine wood had been polished to a smooth finish, and near the top where would connect was accented with tarnished silver with flecks of gold and bronze._

_Despite it's old aged appearance he could still tell it had come from a royal line._

_The body against him had started to tremble again, and he rolled his eyes when the sobs started to get louder._

_Shifting his eyes back to the broken weapon grip in his hand, he looked down to the sobbing dwarf prince quivering in his lap._

_A cruel smirk graced his handsome features and he set the hilt down and lifted Fíli's chin with a forceful hand._

_Fearful blue eyes shut tightly, and he furrowed his brow in frustration._

_He ceased his thrusts and just sat there for the time being with the dwarf clenching and un-clenching around his cock._

_“Look at me.”_

_When the dwarf failed to comply he shrugged his shoulders and grabbed his shirt, tearing a long strip of fabric from it._

_Stubborn ass dwarf. People weren't kidding._

_He wrapped the cloth around the dwarf's head snugly, and the trembling seemed to increase dramatically as soon as he'd used the fabric to blindfold him._

_“Fine then, you needn't see anything.”_

_Fíli seemed to squirm uncomfortably at this but he quickly stopped, likely remembering what happened the last time he tried such a thing._

_Carahir picked up the hilt once more in one hand, and used the other to reach fingers to Fíli's mouth, easing the fabric out so he could speak._

_Immediately the dwarf started to scream for help, making his eyes shoot open in surprise and he hastily clamped a hand over his mouth._

_He hadn't thought the dwarf would be brave enough at this point to do such a stupid action._

_Fíli whined softly, in protest and he chuckled softly._

_“Right then.” he quickly shifted the hand clamping the dwarf's mouth shut, and started to use it to pry open his mouth._

_“Gargh! Ngh.. nuuu...” he heard the dwarf try to protest fearfully._

_“Open wide Fíli.”_

_“N-Nu.... pls..... werrt oo … ngh... oing!” The dwarf pulled and jerked trying to free his face._

_“Don't fret this will not hurt. I promise, I took the dangerous part off.” he snickered cruelly, squeezing the hollows in his cheeks until finally he was forced to part his jaws._

_Quickly he shoved the broad weapon hilt into the dwarf's mouth, passed plump lips that were suddenly stretched so beautifully around it._

_A small noise of surprise escaped around the grip and the man smiled with sadistic glee._

_Fíli, panicking at the sudden intrusion tried to pull his head back but Carahir tangled a fist in his hair to hold him firmly in place so he could continue to push the unknown object further into his mouth._

_The dwarf was freaked, that much was proven when he kept feeling him try to pull against the hand holding his hair, but he didn't stop cramming it down his throat until he heard the dwarf start wheezing for air._

_“Spit that out and I promise they will find a blue-faced corpse. Understand dwarf?” he threatened with a chilling yet promising accent to his voice._

_He let his hand leave the weapon hilt for a moment, but he kept it just inches away from it. He just to be sure this silent threat gave the young dwarven prince the picture._

_He received a couple whimpers but more importantly the nod he was looking for._

_Carahir's hands returned to his hips and the torment continued, granted it was not as horrible now as it had been a few minutes ago. The pause seemed to have given him some time to adjust which he was thankful for, because when Carhir's continued he immediately set a swift and brutal pace with powerful rolling of his hips._

_Fíli tugged against the loosely tied bonds on his wrists and he was relieved when he felt them slip off easily._

_A tight hand wrapped around one of his wrists as a warning, so he knew he'd seen him free himself._

_Honestly he didn't even dare move anyways, he was hurting too much._

_It wasn't but after several minutes of suppressing his pained cries, that the man struck something that made him see stars, a loud moan tore from his throat._

_Gods he was shaking so bad, he felt like he was going to fall over slowly he raised tentative trembling hands up to brace against what he assumed was the man's shoulders._

_Another direct hit at the same spot made him groan loudly, he arched his back arched and he curled his toes tightly._

_He couldn't help but push back against the man for more friction snaring another deep moan from his assaulter in the process._

_**'Thorin, I'm sorry, I know you are going to disown me for this, I know it'** _

_With that last thought Fíli gave in and lowered his head until his forehead touched firm pectorals._

_“Ooohh... nngh yeah... nngh...that is more like it....” he heard the man praise starting to buck his hips with a bit more force._

_A hand returned to run fingers through his hair and soon to tug on the knot on the back of the blindfold._

_“I want to see your tears of despair.” the man's voice hissed darkly in his ear._

_**'Fucking shit, I think I'm...”**_

_The vice-like grip that was placed upon his chin forced his head back up, light that suddenly flew back to his eyes._

_It was disgusting, the first thing he saw was the bastard's sadistic face twisted into a wicked smile._

_The hand moved down the back of his neck before yanking at the hair right at his hair line forcing him to tilt his head up a bit._

_He couldn't help the small whine of protest against the stinging pull on his hair, but said whine kind of transformed into a mewl of pleasure as the man continue to rut into his body._

_“I bet a little whore like you must be disappointed that that's not a nice cock shoved in your mouth, huh? Don't worry I'll still give ya a nice mouth fuck. Hold still.” Carahir said voice low and husky._

_Blue eyes glazed over in an exotic haze followed the hand that moved to the end of the weapon hilt protruding from his parted lips._

_“Nngh.... I am getting close.... gods...”_

_Fíli nearly choked when Carahir shoved the grip down his throat until his finger tips holding the end of the hilt were touching soft lips._

_He squirmed at first and tried to move away from the hand with-holding a firm grip on his hair, a choked panicked cry sounded in his throat as cerulean eyes darted about the room in a frenzied panic._

_“Relax! Be still and be fucking quiet. You submit to me or I'll kill you right now!” he hissed darkly._

_A couple tears rolled down his cheeks again, he wanted to fucking die right now so why the hell should he submit?_

_**'But... what about Kíli... I cannot leave him..... and mum... uncle Thorin even if they won't want me now. I-I couldn't do that to them.'**_

_Caving with those thoughts, he struggled with the task for a few moments, but eventually managed to take some deep inhales through his nose until he managed to get enough oxygen in his lungs to calm himself and stilled his movements._

_When Carahir started to withdraw the broken weapon he struggled to remember forcing himself to breath through his nose, it hurt I mean you normally don't shove something of that size, even better yet something that size with metal plating down your throat._

_Just when he thought he might actually remove it, he thrust it back into his mouth a roughness that took a while to get used to without fighting against the human due to the discomfort._

_It wasn't long before he found himself being fucked relentlessly by the cock that filled his smaller body, and being forced to give an inanimate fucking head and despite his efforts he felt himself nearing completion._

_So far taken by the animalistic desire of his 'bodily needs' he was too far gone to not allow himself to meet the son of man's quick thrusts, his loud lustful moans sounded vaguely around the object fucking his mouth._

_Carahir seemed to spot this as well because the thing he spoke next kind of hinted at it._

_“Look at me.”_

_**'Mahal be fucking damned I hope someone castrates you someday, you asshole!'**_

_He let heavily lidded blue meet those cruel evil eyes that stared right back at him._

_Carahir's thrusts intensified upon the theory that the dwarf was nearing his climax. “Come Fíli, come for me.”_

_A couple more hard thrusts is what did him in, he came with a loud keen spurting all over both of them. Most of it landing on the man's lower stomach and his own, but some of it clung to the developing golden fuzz on his chest._

_Post-coital drowsiness hit Fíli brutally as he tried to remain alert when he realized that Carahir wasn't finished, he was still pounding relentlessly into his body so he must not have reached completion yet._

_The weapon hilt was pulled from his mouth, strings of saliva clinging to the regal ornate finish._

_Wait, wasn't that was his great grandfather's knife!? That fucker broke it just for that?!_

_Too exhausted and emotionally drained to argue, he quickly became very aware of how uncomfortable this was now that he'd came and the son of man was still going at it._

_It felt like a dull blade hitting him repeatedly now that he'd come down from his sexual highness._

_This is why he hated himself because even though this horrid heinous act was so vile and cruel, he found himself pointlessly seeking comfort from is own rapist with his next words and it made the shame he felt for the whole thing increase twice as much._

_“I.... nggh.... p-please.....?”_

_“Hm? Speak.” Carahir's lust dripping purr rang in his ears._

_“C-Can.... .. I … can I request s-something.... .. please....”_

_“Oh? You want something more now? What would that be dwarf?” the scum asked in a smug voice._

_He cleared his throat the best he could, “Gen...tle.... .. please .. t-too hard... ”_

_The scoff he got in response and the deliberate forceful thrust from his the man's hips basically gave him his answer on that before the man even spoke._

_A small cry of discomfort left his throat._

_“I don't really feel like it. So no.”_

_Swallowing his urge to sob hysterically for the man to stop, he was trying to think of something anything he could ask of the man that might make the situation at least a little bearable maybe something he could use to distract himself from what was going on._

_He shifted pained eyes to the body he'd collapsed against, staring at the heaving chest that glistened with sweat._

_**'Fíli you fucking pussy! Dwarves aren't supposed to roll over, you're a coward.'**_

_He lifted his head so he could meet those cruel eyes with wide pleading glassy blue._

_Trying to speak again his voice was more a whine than a plea, but the plea was still very un-dwarfly mainly because he was fucking pleading to a man. “H.... Hold.... .I... . please … .. … h-ho...old.... .. me.... ?“_

_Though he felt the hesitation at first, he felt strong arms trap his trembling body closer to his assailant's and he let his head rest against the man's chest where he proceeded to cry loudly._

_Everything started to blur and he saw bits and pieces of things after that._

_The last thing he remembered before he passed out was tightness around his sore wrists and Carahir forcing his mouth open again to stuff it with the handkerchief once more._

_Then the lights went out and he'd felt nothing._

**~ (End Flashback) ~**

Bard observed the dwarf for several moments in the silence that followed, taking note when blue eyes started to sparkle with tears. 

Clearly his thoughts troubled him, finally when the dwarf started to tremble against his side he threw in the towel and tried to get his attention with a gentle nudge that made Fíli jerk in surprise.

“Fíli, you're shaking, what's the matter?”

Blue stared at him in confusion while he took a moment to process the words. 

Then the dwarf signed something that made Bard freeze in horror. 

**'I know what my mother told you regarding the day of my coming of age.'**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow another long one, hope you guys enjoy this i"ve worked hard on it... in-between playing The Last of Us on my ps3. I reccomend this game, BUT ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY PLAY THE LAST OF US ALONE, AT NIGHT, WITH ALL THE LIGHTS OFF!
> 
> Trust me.... it's not pretty, I was talking to a friend on webcam..... and I screamed when one of the infecteed stalkers was right behind me. Turned around with my little flsashlight and it was all like one of them dinosaurs that jump at ya. Damn raptors. 
> 
> Did you guys hear they are making a movie for it? That's f'in exciting! 
> 
> *cough* Video game nerd *cough* Nerd alert *cough* *cough*
> 
> OMG WHO IS EXCITED FOR JURASSIC WORLD!?!?!?? fjkfjakgrkangkafjkagnkldmglmdkafdsjf; AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dfjakbgj OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Announcement  
> **  
>  June 7th: HEADS UP THE ENTIRE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE IN THE PAST. It's not a flashback from Fili or anyone in particular. So nothing going on will be happening at the current!! Just to clear up confusion should it arise.
> 
> I just feel it easier to bring Thorin into the past sequences this way rather than flashbacks from Fili. Mainly because I have different points of views when I like to write things that happened in backstories. Frankly with Thorin in a coma at the moment poor bb, I feel this would be a lot easier to do it this way.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Attention!! IMPORTANT NOTE!!!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **This chapter is set in the past. This is not a direct memory of any individual.**
> 
>  
> 
> **The reason for this is I felt it important to see some things from Thorin's point of view, and well hell with it I'll just say it. That's kind of hard to do when said dwarf king PROPER dwarf king were it not this situation, but hey we love King Fili - ack! Off topic.**
> 
>  
> 
> **It's kinda difficult when the character you want to portray the view in is stuck in a coma, and I didn't know how to make that work, so this entire chapter is set in the past shortly after the events on the day of Fili's coming of age.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Attention!! IMPORTANT NOTE!!!**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **This chapter is set in the past. This is not a direct memory of any individual.**
> 
>  
> 
> **The reason for this is I felt it important to see some things from Thorin's point of view, and well hell with it I'll just say it. That's kind of hard to do when said dwarf king PROPER dwarf king were it not this situation, but hey we love King Fili - ack! Off topic.**
> 
>  
> 
> **It's kinda difficult when the character you want to portray the view in is stuck in a coma, and I didn't know how to make that work, so this entire chapter is set in the past shortly after the events on the day of Fili's coming of age.**

**~ Past: Seven Years Ago ~**

It was just yesterday that Kíli had departed for his hunting trip with Balin and Dwalin, and the absence of his brother's soft breathing from his side of the bed had proven to make sleeping very difficult.

He hoped that Thorin would be home soon since ma had to take care of something urgent and said she might not be home for a couple days, she had already let Thorin know and he had asked Glóin to handle the smith until she came back.

She needed to go be with a close friend of hers, another dwarrowdam who was expecting any day now before she got injured and quite possibly might die. 

He knew why his mother needed to go, he felt for the poor woman himself, but with his assault having been little over a week ago, he hated being alone so of course he'd panicked at her words. 

Though she told him that Thorin would be home in a couple hours and that she would have Bofur check in on him every now and then, the thought of someone else coming here with him by himself made him uneasy so reluctantly he told her he'd just wait for Thorin.

So this is how he now found himself laying silently in bed, listening to the patter of heavy rain outside.

He'd holed himself up in his bedroom ever since she left about four hours ago.

His stomach suddenly growled loudly and Fíli 'Hmm'd' to himself softly, honestly he hadn't eaten since this morning and here with it nearing 9:00 at night he decided that it wasn't a good idea to ignore his hunger at this point.

As reluctant as he was to leave this room, he forced himself to get up grabbing one of his knives from underneath his pillow before slowly slinking out of his room. 

Soup sounded nice. 

A male dwarf cooking could send a group of dwarrow into a chorus of laughter, unless of course Thorin was in the room. 

Thorin was forced to learn how to cook for the times when their mother would be out and he'd be watching them, and he taught Fíli how to do the same.

Admittedly they weren't even near as good as mum when it comes to her cooking, but at least it was edible. 

He couldn't say the same for Kíli's cooking skills though.

It wasn't until he stepped into the kitchen that he realized he'd have to go down into the cellar to retrieve the stuff he needed. 

Due to it being dark outside and he'd been sleeping, the only light that shone throughout the room was from the lightning that would flash every now and then, and a single candle in the hallway that pretty much gave the kitchen little to no light at all.

Looking toward the cellar doors along the left wall, a small whimper escaped his lips as his mind started to drift through seemingly endless unpleasant thoughts of picturing what would happen if he stepped foot down those stairs. 

Swallowing thickly, he quickly turned around and wandered back to his room to lay back down.

It didn't take long until he'd drifted off. 

**~ Dream Sequence ~**

_Opening his eyes he stretched when he found himself laying in bed._

_Though, a frown quickly formed on his face when a noticeably cold breeze made the hair on the back of his neck stand up._

_Curious he glanced at the window and sat up with alarm when he saw broken glass which had fallen onto the carpet._

_**'Someone's in the house? Who'd be dumb enough to break into the house where Thorin Oakenshield lives?'** _

_Immediately grabbing a knife from under the mattress, he quickly swung his legs over the bed and got to his feet._

_He froze._

_A cold liquid greeted the bottom of his foot when it touched the ground._

_**'Why is there water on the floor?'** _

_Looking down to the floor the knife dropped from his hand when he saw a large pool of crimson, and what looked like a trail of blood normally seen when a body was dragged on the ground._

_They started from the bedside all the way out the door._

_**'Oh Aule.... please don't tell me...... Kíli...?'** _

_Gathering the courage he started to bolt out the door into the hallway._

_As soon as he was rounding the corner he smacked into someone and fell back on his ass._

_Looking up long legs, he saw a face that he never wanted to see again._

_“I believe this is how we initially met isn't it? Do you remember?” the sick voice that'd haunted him endlessly purred softly._

_“Get.... get away from me.” he squeaked, gripping his knife tightly in his hand._

_Carahir knelt down in front of him, and reached out a hand causing him to instinctively flinch. “Oh come now. You don't want to play while Uncle's out and about?”_

_“If you don' get yer sorry ass out of here. I will kill you.” he hissed, sitting up to press the blade against the man's throat._

_The warrior didn't even blink when he felt the steel cut into his skin slightly, but his smirk widened._

_Much quicker than he could follow, Carahir smacked the blade out of his hand and grabbed a fistful of hair pulling him closer._

_A terrified scream tore from his throat and he swung, landing a successful hit to the man's face that sent him to the ground since he was still kneeling._

_Wasting no time he got to his feet and started to run when a firm hand grasped his wrist and yanked him onto the floor to join the fallen man._

_Despite his best efforts of trying to get free, Carahir managed to pin him down using his much larger body to his advantage._

_“No! Please don't!”_

_One hand slipped down the front of his breeches, and the other wrapped around his throat cutting off his screams turning them into frantic gasps for air._

_“I'm going to make you hurt dwarf.”_

**~ (End Dream Sequence) ~**

He woke up with a loud cry, bolting upright in bed looking around frantically. 

The window as fine, he saw no blood. 

_'Fucking shit.'_

Fíli's lip trembled a little bit, he wasn't going to break down like a sissy over a bad dream was he? 

Hesitantly he got up from his bed, grabbing his knife and tucking it securely in the sheathe on his belt. 

_'Oh... I forgot to change before I laid down.'_ he mused quietly after he had suddenly questioned why he was wearing a belt to bed.

He decided that he wanted to make some of that tea mum usually makes when someone in the house was anxious. 

When he got to the kitchen, it was still dark out, and he realized everything was pretty much the same he had a feeling he probably hadn't slept for more than half an hour. 

It didn't take him long to find the kettle and get some water heating up, he retrieved one of the pottery sculpted cups from their cabinet.

He still needed to wait for the water to get done, so he walked to the table and pulled out a chair.

Just as he was about to lower himself down into it, he caught movement at one of the windows from the corner of his eye. 

_'That's not Thorin.... Thorin always has a lantern with him when he comes home after dark, and where was his pony. I would have heard her outside when I came through the hallway from the window that lines with the stable.'_

He couldn't stop his trembling hand from dropping the cup which shattered on impact with the wooden floor.

The noise made the silhouette outside dart round the house for the front door, and he bolted down the hallway ignoring the sudden sharp pain he felt right after he stepped forward.

Not quite sure where to go, he decided to run to the room the farthest away from the front door which was Thorin's room at the end of the hallway. 

He closed the door quickly and looked around panting heavily. 

Blue eyes darted to Thorin's bed and immediately he dropped to the floor an thanked the makers for his smaller build as he managed to shimmy his way underneath it.

_'Please don't find me... please Aule don't let them find me... '_

A loud bang echoed down the hallway when the front door slammed open.

 **~ X X X ~**

Thorin was exhausted by the time he had come walking up the pathway to the house. 

Yes walking. 

Dís had stopped by the smithy and explained the urgent manner that had come up, having gotten a letter from Brúsi, the husband of her closest friend Fía with some unfortunate news. 

Thorin agreed that she needed to be there for them, so he already intended to stay with Fíli until she came back.

He'd told her to take Minty with her due to the distance of her trip, even though he'd have a long walk home in torrential rain. 

The older dwarf had finished the rest of the orders as quickly as he could, but unfortunately he had some difficulties, and what normally would have taken an hour or two ended up taking almost five.

Concern crept into his mind slowly when he noticed he saw no candle light or light in the whole house.

Usually the fireplace was always on at night, this was strange.

Walking past the house he moved to the stable where they normally have a spare lantern, he was just about to the door when he heard a loud crash from inside the house.

Fearing for his nephew's safety and the thought that possibly someone else was in the house with him, he turned on his heel and bolted up front again for the door. 

He swung the door open, and let his eyes scan the room for any signs of Fíli being around.

A loud whistling made him jump in surprise his heart starting to pound violently in his chest, he quickly found it to be the kettle warming some water.

Despite being exhausted, sore, and soaked and dripping with water from the rain, a small relieved sigh escaped him it was clear that Fíli was still home.

Just when he was about to take his muddy boots off a flash of lightning from outside lit up the house, and he saw something on the floor out of the corner of his eye.

Frowning he moved to investigate and found a broken mug, but that's not what concerned him, he also saw a puddle of blood set with the bloody footprints, and an abandoned knife he recognized as one of Fíli's several hunting knives.

 _'Fíli!'_

Being as quiet as possible he took the kettle off the fire and set it aside then turned his attention back to the footprints, it was harder to see them with the house so dark, but if there was an intruder he didn't want to light any candles before he got rid of them.

He followed the foot prints to his bedroom door which was closed, he normally left it open or at least ajar if he were not home.

Taking a breath he pushed the heavy door open with a loud creak. Once it was all the way open he could immediately see where the bloody footprints led.

The dwarf could only think of one person who could squeeze into a small place like that. 

Quietly he padded over to stand beside the bed and started to kneel. 

Thorin had to admit he was not expecting the wild swing of a knife that tore into his leg starting from his calf all the way to his knee. 

He couldn't help but let out a loud shout of pain, stumbling back.

**~ X X X ~**

When he saw the legs in front of his face, he didn't even think, the fact that someone had just marched into the house in the dead of the night and what's worse, someone he wasn't familiar with terrified him.

He hadn't wanted to be around many individuals since it happened, only few had been in his presence, namely his mother, Thorin, Kíli and once or twice Balin had stopped by.

The only thoughts that ran through his mind right now were 'Get the hell out of here.' 'They're going to kill me.' and 'I don't want to die.' 

This had been exactly why when he heard his 'killer' cry out in pain and back up a little, he quickly crawled out from underneath the bed trying to scramble to his feet in time to get out the door.

His name was being called over and over again, and just as he was about to step foot through the doorway strong arms tried to restrain him, but he screamed and flailed about ignoring the frantic shouts.

 **~ X X X ~**

Thorin Oakenshield was not a dwarf known to panic outwardly, but when he saw Fíli quickly shoot out from beneath his bed breathing at an erratic pace he couldn't help but feel like someone had been here and that's why the lad was so worked up.

His right foot was the source of the blood, maybe he'd cut it on the pottery shards.

“Fíli!” he called desperately.

Wild with panic his nephew tried to sprint out the door despite his wounded foot, seemingly not capable of acknowledging his voice he swiftly moved forward and grabbed his shoulders to pull him closer.

The result of the action startled him greatly. Fíli just went wild with screams! He thrashed, flailed, bucked, trying to writhe out of his hold and Thorin had to let go when he quickly found that the lad still brandished another one of his hunting knives in his right hand coming at his throat.

Once he was free Fíli bolted out the door with him quickly pursuing him.

“Fíli! Lad it's just me!” he called frantically, but it went ignored due to how wound up the boy was.

Their footsteps thumped heavily against the wooden floor, but Fíli was starting to slow down due to his injury starting to get to him more than likely.

He finally caught up to him and snatched hold of the younger dwarf's wrist pulling him back again.

“No!!” the panicked shriek reached his ears.

It happened so quick, golden hair whipped back backward as Fíli turned around when he was yanked towards him and he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen when the lad plunged the knife straight into his v-line. 

Thorin choked on the frantic intake of breath as response to the assault, gritting his teeth so he wouldn't cry out.

Ice blue eyes shot wide open, when he felt the knife being yanked out only to start to lower again.

“Get away from me!” 

Instincts honed after years of battle kicked in and he caught the panicked dwarf's wrist with a tight constricting grip.

The younger dwarf retaliated with a fierce punch before that hand was caught as well.

“F-Fíli! Lad calm down!” He was trying to make sure he held tight the hand with the blood soaked knife.

Fíli pulled against him frantically, “Lemme go!” 

With that Thorin forced the frantic blond to his knees and was soon trying to wrestle him onto the floor.

Surprisingly especially due to their drastic size difference and the fact that he'd always been able to bring both the lads down quickly in a wrestling match countless of times before with very little effort needed. In his panicked state of hysteria, Fíli proved the task to be a lot harder than he expected.

That was when it clicked. 

_'He thinks he's fighting for his life.'_

With all the violent thrashing and the lad constantly twisting out of his hold, it took him several minutes before he could actually get him onto the floor. 

The lad was staring right at him from his spot on the ground, yet it was like he couldn't stop fighting against him.

He was panting from the exertion, but he kept his focus after pinning the smaller dwarf with his weight he pried the knife from his hand 

The reaction the dwarfling had to now being completely unarmed made his heart clench painfully. 

Breaking into a mess of hysterical pleading shrieks and violent sobs, Fíli started to cry, “Please.... p-please … just lemme g-go. I-I'll do … whatever ye wan' … p-please... I.. .. I won't.... w-won't run again... don't … .. don't hurt me!” 

Thorin reached a hand up to gold hair, but his other hand shifted and accidentally brushed against Fíli's hip and the reaction was immediate.

Filled with an overwhelming despair he started screaming, starting to struggle fiercely against the unknown assailant to prevent what he feared was to come next.

“N-No! … Please... d- .. - don't! I don' want it! I-I don' want it!!” 

The king was stunned, his mouth dropped open in mortification as he came to understand what it was Fíli was fighting against.

“No Fíli, lad I love yo-.”

Before he could even finish Fíli somehow managed to flip over onto his stomach, and was clawing at the ground, legs desperately trying to get leverage so he could crawl out from underneath the older dwarf.

“H-Help! Thorin! Please … .. T-Th.. … horin .. help me! G-Get .. .. him … .. ... offa … m-me! ” 

Hearing his nephew's terrified voice calling out for him hurt, it hurt so very much he felt tears starting to gather in his eyes. 

“Fíli please. I'm home lad, you are safe Inùdoy.” he tried to reassure gently, 

His response came choked in between hiccups, sobs, and a couple sniffles. “Someone … .. ple... ase.... h-help... me....”

“Fíli.” he called softly. 

All at once, the body beneath him went completely still except for the violent sobs that shook Fíli's shoulders.

It took Thorin a moment to understand why Fíli just stopped all the sudden. Eventually though he recognized it as the lad giving up, and submitting.

He was about to speak to the trembling dwarf when said dwarf's voice beat him to it.

“J-Jus.... I … I don't..... .. … p-please g-gentle... it... it s-still... .. hurts... ..” 

A couple tears fell from his eyes when Fíli hid his face in his arms and proceeded to sob. 

Heart breaking slowly, Thorin got his arms underneath the trembling form and sat up, pulling him into his lap with one arm around his waist and the other holding tightly onto both wrists when the lad started to fuss again.

“Oh Fíli... I would never do such a thing to you. Everything is fine lad, I'm here.”

Praise Mahal it finally seemed like he was getting the lad calmed down, ignoring the sharp pain in his lower stomach where Fíli stabbed him he leaned forward and let his chin rest on top Fíli's golden head.

“That's it Fíli, listen to my voice. He isn't going to hurt you anymor... that's it... calm down you're alright.”

There was a silence only containing some sniffles and finally he heard his name spoken in a meek voice. 

He ran his fingers through his hair comfortingly, as another silence followed, and he almost missed the barely audible 'Father m'sorry' , that was spoken before another series of hiccups and shudders.

“Shh, it is not your fault Inùdoy... it's going to be okay.” he reassured softly, his words triggering more tears from the lad when he started to sob loudly into his soaked shoulder.

The dwarven king's thoughts started to wander everywhere, his heart felt like it was being burned with a hot iron upon the sad and horrific display he'd just bared witness to.

The two sat like this for what seemed like forever until Fíli fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably show more of this later on. Wanna know what you guys think first.
> 
> Next chapter will have some Bard / Fili smoofness. Yes I did just say smoofness. Why? That is a very good question because..... I have no idea why I typed that.
> 
> I think I was trying to think of something between smut and fluff but ended up failing miserably.


	17. Chapter 17

Bard felt his blood freeze in mid-stream within his veins, when the dwarf told him.

When the bowman opened his mouth to respond but instead he closed it, he didn't even know what to say.

He couldn't just deny the young dwarf, especially if he may have been there.

Fíli turned his eyes back to him questioningly before he started to sign again. 

**_'I would assume that she told you. Surely she did because she was so insistent that you walk with her, which obviously meant what she had to say wasn't for my ears.'_ **

The man blinked for a moment and inwardly sighed. _'He didn't hear it. That's a relief.'_

**_'I hope she didn't, but my guess is that she did so to tell you to back off, being the over-protective mother that she is.'_ **

He forced his appearance to remain neutral but not without holding a tiny hint of confusion which he directed at the dwarf.

The silence continued until finally Fíli signed once more. **_'Did she not tell you?'_**

Finally he gathered the courage to speak again. “No, I'm afraid she didn't? Why, is it important?”

He mentally cringed, he knew damn well it was important and he hoped the young dwarf didn't get upset with the wording considering what did happen that day.

The young dwarf's eyes widened in shock at the response body tensing against him before he let out a small breath.

Shaking his head frantically he raised his hands again to signal.

**_'No. it's nothing.'_ **

Honestly he wasn't sure it was up to him to press the subject, so he remained silent while keeping Dís's words in his mind in order to do so.

Fíli glanced at Bard curiously, and the bowman could tell just by staring at his face, that he was trying to regain his composure and think of a topic change.

After a few seconds his blue eyes raised to focus on his face rather than just in his direction.

The dwarf just stared at his face with a pondering expression as he scanned his features thoroughly.

_'What in the creator's name...?'_ the dark haired man thought quietly, it was like Fíli was trying to solve a really complicated problem. 

Eventually he saw the dwarven prince scrunch his nose up and furrow his brow in confusion.

The action, despite his curiosity forced an amused smirk to his own face. “Is there a problem?”

His voice seemed to snap the dwarf out of his thoughts, but he must have heard him because he frowned and nodded in response. 

Before he could open his mouth to inquire what it was Fíli was already lifting his hands to communicate again.

**_'How old are you? Men age differently than dwarves.'_ **

Bard couldn't help but laugh finally knowing what Fíli had been trying to figure out the past couple minutes.

A small pout formed on the golden dwarf's face, after he'd calmed himself.

“Four and forty years. I would assume that you are much older than I?” 

He frowned when he saw a sad the look that crossed Fíli's features. 

“I apologize, I meant no-”

The dwarf's head jerked up in surprise and shook his head, before indicating that it wasn't what he said. 

**_'I am older than you, though I am still young for a dwarf. Can you guess my age?'_ **

Bard had to think for a moment, he remembered Dís had mentioned that Fíli was older than his brother but he couldn't remember how much. 

“Ninety?”

He was wrong, that much was clear when Fíli tossed his head back with choked, scratchy, and hushed laughter. 

The noise was odd, even to Fíli's ears because he seemed to have startled himself at first, but then started laughing again.

It sounded almost a mixture of a bad cough but the noise came out like the heavy breathing one gets after running long distances. However, at the same time it also reminded him of the sound of a warrior getting the life squeezed out of him by a hostile foe. 

All in all it sent shivers down his spine and he felt the hairs raise on the back of his neck.

It really was tragic what the young dwarf was being put through, tragic as well as cruelly unfair.

After a couple minutes Fíli's laughter ceased and he turned his attention back to the bow man before him.

**_'I am two and eighty.'_ **

Bard had to pause for a second, still trying to remember how much younger the other brother was.  
Finally he caved and decided to ask.

“And Kíli is younger than yourself?”

**_'He is seven and seventy. He has not been of age but two years ago.'_ **

The bowman nodded as he processed the information, trying to be sure he'd remember that.

He let his thoughts turn toward the young dwarven archer and couldn't help wondering how he was fairing, and perhaps it would do good to change the topic for a while. 

“How fairs your brother? Is he recovering?” 

Fíli finally pulled away from his side and turned amazed eyes up at the man who stared down at him with such genuine concern that it made him feel both content and uncomfortable at the same time. 

**_'Kíli has recovered for the most part, I am more worried about his head.'_**

Bard would have snorted in amusement, initially thinking the comment was a brotherly jab but the sadness that shone in the dwarf's eyes told him it wasn't.

The bowman knew how serious some head injuries could be. 

“Head injury?”

The silent nod of confirmation forced a grim silence over both of them. 

**~ Erebor ~**

Kíli rolled over onto his side with a small groan, opening his eyes for the seventieth time this night.

He had been having trouble sleeping lately, he'd been dreaming all the time as soon as he'd close his eyes at night.

Most of the time they'd be non-sense, but sometimes they could be unpleasant the happy ones he didn't mind much. 

Though he'd like at least one night with some silence for once. 

Sometimes he'd keep himself awake as to avoid them, which was kind of what he was doing at the moment. 

He'd a horrific one last night, he watched his uncle succumb to his gold sickness and he just went absolutely mad. 

It had been back on top the ramparts and Bilbo hadn't been able to get away, Thorin had tried to shove Fíli away and his brother ended up toppling over the building instead. 

His brother had hit the ground with a loud crack and went absolutely still having fell unconscious blood leaking from his mouth.

After a couple moments of calling his name Fíli let out a choked gargle spitting up more blood, and his body seized sporadically for a few moments. 

Although he was aware that Fíli was dying from the injuries he had tried to dart to the threshold so he could go be with his brother, but Thorin had followed him, ranting about even more betrayal and attacked him.

Though he tried to fight against their uncle, he knew he was no match for Thorin's immense strength so he tried to call to the others to help him... yet they just stood they.

They all stood and watched as the last thing he saw before he woke was the knife coming at his throat and Thorin's furious snarl.

And it was because of this, that he'd not slept for two days. 

Honestly his dreams weren't what was causing him to worry the most, it was more his concern for Fíli than anything.


	18. Chapter 18

Fíli padded quietly down the corridor that led to the bedroom he'd been sharing with Kíli for the past few weeks while Erebor was being rebuilt.

He was surprised by how late it was when he left the lake and more so when he returned home.

Everyone was probably asleep by now, well except the few people he met on night watch of course, having had to give them a bit of an explanation in Igleshmek as to why he was out and about so late at night. 

That had initially been his first thought, until he found himself hearing distressed noise from within his and Kíli's room when he stood outside the door.

_'Kíli?'_

“No please...” 

As quietly but quickly as he could, Fíli pushed open the heavy wooden door and looked around their darkened room expecting to find something out of place.

He was more surprised, but more so concerned when he found that his little brother was still in bed.

Fists clenching the bed sheets, body trembling he quickly realized that Kíli was dreaming, likely a nightmare from this reaction.

“Don' hurts... “

_'Oh Kíli.'_

Instinctively he tried to call his brother's name to rouse him from his restless slumber, and his shoulders visibly slumped when he got nothing to come out.

His own eyes burned for a few moments but a deep breath helped clear his head and he started to walk toward their bed.

When he was just a foot away from his destination, Fíli lurched forward when his foot got stuck in one of the cracks on the tiled floor. 

**~ Dream Sequence ~**

_No matter how much Thorin had tried to insist that the story they had been given as an explanation of Fíli coming home looking like a corpse a few days ago was true, he knew they were still hiding something from him._

_His brother could handle a beating without making much of a sound, yet he came home and you walk into the room and he jumps til his head almost hits the ceiling._

_He just couldn't understand any of it! It made no sense, surely such an event couldn't make Fíli so skittish._

_As much as he knew his brother needed time to heal and pestering him wasn't the best, the worry in his head just wouldn't cease._

_Now here he was supposed to be having a decent hunting trip with Mister Dwalin and Balin, having fun, he found himself standing staring at the fish in the water as if he'd never even seen one before._

_“Lad, that fish isn't going to jump out of the water itself. That'd be what the spear is for.” he heard Dwalin's gruff voice chide teasingly._

_He huffed shot a frustrated glare at the older dwarf. “I know that, M'just tired.” A sudden wave of vertigo hit the young dwarf like a wall of Mithril bricks from the moment he had started to speak._

_Dwalin chuckled softly turning his attention back to the fire he was trying to start, Kíli's fight to stay standing straight going unnoticed as he did so._

_“Dwalin.” his brother's soft voice beckoned catching his focus._

_Balin was staring at Kíli with uneasy eyes, appearing to stare with an look of deep concern._

_Immediately, the younger dwarf turned his head to look at the dwarfling who was using his spear to hold himself upright._

_“Kíli?” Balin called._

_He caught the boy's attention that's for sure. “Aye?”_

_“Are ye sick laddie? Ye look rather pale.”_

_“No. M'fine, really.” he replied stubbornly, his legs buckling beneath him right after the words were spoken however._

_Dwalin saw Kíli's eyes roll into the back of his head, and the slight tilt of his body leaning far too close to the rivers edge, and bolted forward._

_“Durin's beard!” he swore loudly when he missed the lad's hand by mere centimeters._

_A loud splash made everything seem to stand still and the older dwarf stared over the bank into the fast waters._

_“Brother, do you see him?” Balin had by now joined his side and his face held a perfect image of horror upon it._

_Nothing. Just the sound of rushing water, just as Dwalin was about to reply with a negative a panicked cry reached both their ears._

_After a brief moment of running along the side of the river bank a few yards, Balin spotted the dwarfling clinging onto some roots embedded into the mud._

_“Dwalin, over here!” he called to his younger sibling._

_It didn't take long before both the older dwarrow were kneeling on the edge of the bank, trying to retrieve the young prince from the icy waters._

_“Mister Dwalin m'sorry! I fell asleep...” Kíli's distressed voice cracked with an emotional frustration. One that often seeped in when he was trying his best at something but failed to complete the task._

_Dwalin reached out trying to grip the young dwarf's arms, however a string of dwarven curses left his mouth when he found his own arms too short._

_A snapping sound from some of the roots he was using as a handhold which caused Kíli to let out a small squeak._

_“S'gonna break...”_

_“That don't matter right now laddie. Don' ye move.” he gruffed, looking around for something to give the boy to grab onto._

_'The ponies!'_

_Getting ready to call for his brother, when he turned to face the elder dwarf he found he was already gone likely having thought of the idea earlier._

_“We'll get ye lad. Don' worry.”_

_Dwalin barely had time to acknowledge the loud snap before Kíli was suddenly gone from his sight, and another shocked cry that was cut short reached his ears._

_“No!”_

_The young dwarf hadn't even time to comprehend what happened, one moment he'd been holding onto that damn branch and the next moment, he was fighting to keep afloat the roaring waters._

_Durin's beard the water was freeezing!_

_The constant battle of keeping his head above water seemed like it was dragging forever until his chest impacted with something hard, and everything went black._

_~XXX~_

_When Kíli let his brown eyes flutter open he was very confused._

_Everything was black, he couldn't see anything._

_Was he dead?_

_If he was, he never imagined that the halls of his fathers would be pitch black with ice water that was threatening to drown him._

_Though it took him a moment, he realized that he was still alive._

_'Sweet and merciful Mahal!'_

_Alive or not, Durin be damned he was terrified, this situation he found himself in was. without a doubt put at the top of the list._

_'This is worse than when mum beat the snot out of Uncle Thorin after he disappeared for two weeks!'_

_The water was so cold he felt like it had been absorbed into bone, it stung his face like needles, actually scratch that it stung everything!_

_'Worst day ever!'_

_He was cold, so cold that he could feel his teeth chatter and the quivering tremors that shook his body._

_So all in conclusion, he was cold, sore, tired, wet, deafened by the surging waves, oh and add the fact that he couldn't see anything to save his life._

_Night must have long since fallen, he didn't even know what exactly happened._

_Taking a moment to scan his environment a bit more thoroughly, through the darkness he found himself pressed up against an old log that had drifted against a large rock._

_The current must have dragged him to a stop here._

_Continuing to scan he saw no sign of other life and his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach._

_How long had he been here? Especially with it well after nightfall._

_Tears started to prick at his eyes as a thought came to him or more a realization, with it this late it wasn't all that unlikely that the two older dwarves may have given up on a search._

_“Oh Durin please...”_

_The young dwarf's thoughts continued onto his mother. Oh Mahal what would she do, and what about Fíli!?_

_~XXX~_

_Balin watched with grim eyes as his brother continued to walk along the river bank, his face illuminated by the glow of the torch he held in front of him while he walked._

_They had been searching for hours, and honestly he had long since given up hope that they would find the young prince alive, or at all for that matter._

_Dwalin just kept going and snapped at him when he mentioned going to Thorin about five minutes ago._

_“We'll find 'im Balin. Thorin, the poor lad's goin' through enough as 'tis.”_

_“Dwalin, ye must see reason-”_

_“Quiet!” the bigger dwarf cried, body jerked abruptly in alarm as he scanned the area._

_The two went quiet and all that could be heard was the sound of the rushing water, but apparently Dwalin had heard something else._

_Several seconds passed until finally Dwalin spotted something and pointed dramatically. “There! Look there brother!”_

_~XXX~_

_Being raised as a dwarf from Durin's line, Kíli was taught never to give up on anything._

_His stubbornness was not necessarily always a gift, but his recklessness that was by far confirmed to be his curse._

_However, with how sore, cold, and tired he felt right now he was finding it increasingly hard to continue hanging onto this rock._

_All he had been doing for the past... however long he'd been here was pray silently._

_The faint glow of a torch stretched into his line of view, well the small majority of it that wasn't being obscured by rushing water._

_Yes! There it was, there was a figure mounted upon a pony to his left, he wasn't seeing things!_

_'Is that them?!' he couldn't help but ponder silently, even though he knew that this was a very slim chance he just wanted out of this wretched water._

_“B-Ba....Balin!”_

_The pony stopped moving and Kíli saw the rider instantly become more alert._

_Maybe he didn't hear him the first time._

_Just as he was going to call out again, Kíli quickly stopped short when he scanned his environment once more._

_A horrifying realization sunk in as he realized that the creature the rider sat upon was no pony, it was much too big for that._

_Viscous snarling confirmed his suspicions immediately, that was a warg._

_A lone orc scout!? This was just not his day!_

_The orc was throughly scanning the rapid waters for the source of the noise, and Kíli being well aware that he was a sitting duck, the young dwarf tried to duck down a little further behind the rock, shifting his grip on the old wood that mounted him there._

_When a noise that was so familiar to him in particular being an archer, sounded. The young dwarf glanced up and felt his heart fall into the pit of his stomach when his eyes spotted the bow that was aimed right at him from where the orc stood._

_Something in black speech was grumbled from the beast and Kíli squeezed his eyes shut, praying that his end would be quick._

_The arrow never came though, instead he heard shouting and pretty soon the dying shriek of an orc and the viscous growl of a warg caught his attention._

_“Kíli! Durin's beard!” he heard a gruff voice call over the roaring sound of the rushing water._

_'Mister Dwalin!' it took him a moment to register the sound._

_Just as Kíli went to lift himself back up so that he could see around the rock, he was horrified when he found that maybe ducking down hadn't been a good idea because now he could not lift himself to his previous position for his body was too numb to cooperate._

_He tried to call out, but found that hard as well and instead let out a frustrated cry as he rest his head against the cool stone._

_“Aye, we can see ye laddie!” that was Balin's voice._

_Dwalin had wasted no time in hacking at a medium sized tree along the banks, if he could get it to come down across the rushing waters he might be able to reach the lad if he got it to collapse right._

_That part of his plan had been easy, but as Dwalin stared he looked skeptical at the sad sight, the young Durin heir clinging onto one of the many rocks that obstetrical along the rocky rapids before the waterfall that pooled into a valley below._

_Putting hesitation aside, Dwalin started to make his way across the creaking body of the fallen tree to go and retrieve the young dwarfling, but it was not with little effort._

_Effort indeed!_

_Though it took him several minutes to actually make it to the stone where the younger dwarf resided, he did make it._

_“Kíli.” he called in that gruff voice of his which earned the lad's attention._

_“Dwa... Dwalin...... !” came an abnormally shrill voice from the dwarfling._

_“Aye, it'll be alright laddie?” the older dwarrow soothed while he lowered himself down so he could get into the cold water._

_Kíli's mouth dropped open, had the larger dwarf gone senile?!_

_“Dwalin stop, you can't!” the brunette's shrill cry reached the warrior's ears._

_Dwalin laughed in response and Kíli found the deep rumble coming from the back of teacher's throat to be rather soothing._

_The sudden presence of torchlight was very much appreciated by Kíli and soon Balin came into his line of view when he came up behind his brother, a small smile played upon his aged features._

_“Lad, I'm more than certain that my Ox of a brother can withstand those waters.”_

_Though he still remained unconvinced, Kíli went quiet and watched as the larger dwarf lowered himself into the water beside him._

_A couple curses in khuzdul at how cold the water was caused a small grin to appear on Kíli's face momentarily, but it vanished just as soon as it formed._

_Dwalin used one arm to brace himself against the rock and the other to run his fingers through his sopping mop of hair._

_“Poor lad.”_

_Kíli let out a whimper when he felt Dwalin shifting some debris aside so that he could free him from where he had been anchored down._

_His shoulder hurt a lot! Why was he feeling this just now?_

_It didn't take long before Dwalin had him out of the water, he asked Balin to go get the ponies ready to go home which the older dwarf had no protests against._

_A loud creaking noise flooded into everyone's ear drums and Dwalin scooped Kíli up in a dead panic and started to move across the fallen tree towards the river bank._

_“Brother look out!” Dwalin turned his attention the side just in time to see a large log of what used to be a dead tree coming right at the makeshift bridge they'd made._

_He didn't have enough time to make it to the shore, he knew that so the older dwarf did the only thing he could think of and turned his back to keep Kíli out of harms way as best he could._

_“Brace yerself laddie.” was Dwalin's gruff warning._

_**~ End Dream Sequence ~** _

Kíli was startled awake when a heavy weight landed on him rather roughly causing him to instinctively grab the knife from below his pillow and lashed out to defend himself. 

He hit someone, before he could comprehend anything he heard a choked squeak and a feeling of dread escaped him when the other body on the bed shifted. 

The knife dropped from his hand which he now realized was covered in crimson that looked more black at the moment. 

A shaky hand lifted to rest against his face and Kíli felt hot tears running down his face once he recognized the face of his 'assailant'. 

_'Fíli'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I'm SORRY I'M SUPER LATE WITH THIS!!! I've just been really busy lately!! 
> 
> As always love you guys!!! <3 <3 <3


	19. Chapter 19

The first thing Kíli felt was immediate panic, Mahal please someone tell him he was still dreaming. 

It wasn't a dream though.

Fíli sat before him, and he could see the blood that started to trickle to flow freely from his brother's mouth, cascading down staining his blond beard crimson as it dripped off his chin.

Frozen in terror at the situation before him, he found himself unable to call for help even though he knew he should. 

Realizing he still held onto the blade he'd plunged into his brother's abdomen he let go hand trembling.

Fíli could see the horror and guilt written all over Kíli's face, oh how he wanted to speak reassurances to him. 

He reached up with both hands he cupped the younger dwarf's face gently using his thumbs to wipe away some tears. 

This seemed to snap Kíli out of it, “Fíli....I – I.... help! Help someone get in here!” 

Even though it was only a couple minutes, it seemed like an eternity before Dwalin came running in with one of his axes at the ready. 

The older dwarf let out a grumble, skidding to a halt when he saw no one and to add onto that both the boys were on the bed sitting down.

“Lad what in Durin's name...?”

Kíli turned to him and he could see the tears running down his cheek, his face one of desperation,“Mister Dwalin! Help please! It... it was an accident....” 

After throwing down his ax upon one of the tables Dwalin briskly started to close the distance between him and the boys. 

He noticed Fíli was leaning against his brother's chest, his breath coming in labored pants. 

Wait was that blood dripping from his mouth?

As he got closer his curiosity morphed into horror when he spotted generous quantities of blood soaking the bedsheets along with the golden haired prince. 

“Durin's beard Kíli! What's happened?” 

“M-Me... I … I stabbed him.... h-he.... I didn't... d-didn't know it was --- oh Fíli no!” Kíli cried as his brother went completely slack against him. 

Dwalin felt sick, he understood what must have happened it didn't take long to piece it together. 

“Let me have him laddie...” he spoke softly. 

Even though he was reluctant to loosen his hold the young dwarf knew that Fíli needed help, so he didn't protest when the bigger dwarf pried him from his grasp.

Dwalin eyed the dagger still embedded within Fíli's midsection and tried to be as careful as he could when he lifted the lad into his broad arms.

Dís came running into the room in a blind panic, “Dwalin what's going- “ she trailed off, clamping her hand over her mouth time seemed to stand still as she took in the sight before her. 

Dwalin standing covered in blood, holding her Fíli in his arms completely lifeless, Kíli's dagger digging deep into Fíli's stomach, then her Kíli equally covered in blood sobbing hysterically on his bed. 

“M'going to find Oin. Stay with the lad, he needs ya.” Dwalin gushed, leaving no room for arguments as he hurried out of the room.

Standing there with her mouth agape she turned to her youngest before slowly making her way over to him. 

“Kíli... what happened?” 

“M-Ma... I-I... I didn't.... know! He... s-scared m-me.... I didn't... I-I... oh Fíli! M'so s-sorry!” he wailed burying his face into his hands. 

Tears started to well up in her eyes, she took seat beside her devastated son she wrapped her arms around him, “Oh my child..” 

“I-I-I swear I d-didn't mean to hurt h-him Ma...” 

She took a deep breath trying to keep herself calm, she knew it was an accident but that didn't mean she wasn't worried. “I know love.” 

He pulled away to look his mother in the face, and for the first time Dís could see something in about his features... his eyes that wasn't right. It was strange, something was wrong but she couldn't explain what it was. 

“C-Can you.... g-go.... get uncle f-for me? I-I think... think he said he was.... going to the lake w-with Dwalin.” 

Dís tensed visibly, staring at her son in surprise. Thorin was still in a coma... and … wait Dwalin was just here...

“Kíli... Thorin is still in a coma.... remember?” 

Kíli's mouth fell open to respond but nothing came out, instead he looked down at his hands and started to think.

His mother sensed his distress and placed a comforting hand upon his back, she noticed a couple tears fall into his lap but his face was obscured by his mop of hair. 

“Kíli.... what's wrong...?”

After a few seconds of silence he slowly lifted his head to look at her. Dís felt her heart throb painfully as she noticed deep sorrow and fear. 

However that wasn't all she saw, she could also see confusion, frustration, hesitance, and shame. 

The first time he opened his mouth to respond he closed it again as if trying to think of how he should answer, but finally she did get a reply.

“I .... not felt well.... for while...” he whispered softly his eyes welling up once more. “... M'havin trouble remembering things... small things...”

Taking a deep breath the dwarrowdam cupped his chin with one hand, “Oh my precious child... why didn't ye say somethin'?”

“Fíli... e's going through so much....”

Dís mentally kicked herself, of course that would be the reason.

Both her sons were like that, they didn't want to burden each other if something was wroing. 

Just like two mirrors. 

“I really want Uncle Thorin...” 

His words caught her attention once more, “I know child, I miss him too.” 

“Have.... they any idea when he'll wake up? Even a guess?”

Tears welled up inside her eyes, she remained silent, unfortunately not knowing how to answer his question and a small sob escaped her lips.

Trembling arms embraced her once more, and she could feel Kíli bury his face in her hair. 

“Fíli....” he keened softly. 

“Shh, Kíli... your brother is strong.”

“No... w-why is.... why is Fee left to deal with the consequences of Uncle's fall? He.... he shouldn't have to make such a decision!” 

A soft hum escaped her throat, “Because Fíli is the first heir next to Thorin-” 

“I-I know that!” 

“I don't understand Kíli.” 

He pulled away looking at her with fierce eyes, “How could Dáin press that on him when he's going through what he is!”

Dís bit her lip anxiously, “A kingdom needs a ruler Kíli. Let's not discuss this now, you're exhausted. How about I go check on your brother and come back?”

Kíli settled down, sleep sounded very good actually. “Aye...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then, looks like Kíli's secret is out now, yeah? Whoopsie! 
> 
> Stay tuned!


	20. Chapter 20

**Past: Seven Years Ago**

_It had been just yesterday that Dís had left, and the house was quiet._

_Currently Thorin sat at the kitchen table quietly reading a book, the exiled dwarf king had asked Dwalin to take care of the smith for today, he didn't want to leave Fíli alone after what had happened last night._

_Soft footsteps tainted with a limp caught his attention, he looked up to see the lad standing in the doorway._

_'Speaking of Fíli.' he thought quietly to himself._

_Fíli stood quietly, his golden tresses were in a fuss all with all but one loose braid undone, tired and red were his eyes with dark circles underneath, his posture slack and graceless._

_Poor lad was so exhausted after last night that he'd slept all morning, it was two in the afternoon._

_The young dwarf's eyes were looking all around doing everything they could to avert his uncle's gaze._

_Sorrow filled Thorin's heart at the state of his blond sister-son's appearance, he knew Fíli had been feeling immense shame since the incident in the pub._

_Setting his book down and pushing his own personal feelings aside, he offered Fíli a warm smile._

_“Good morning Fíli.”_

_Fíli's meek voice returned the greeting softly as he walked to the table and sat down in the chair next to the older dwarrow._

_He wasn't going to press Fíli right now, even though he wanted to ask him what happened his instincts told him that wasn't a wise idea._

_The two sat there in silence for a while until Thorin stood deciding to make tea and took a few minutes to put some water on the fire._

_Gathering some other things from the cabinets so he could make lunch, he heard Fíli's voice speaking to him but he only caught the word 'hurt' so he turned to face the young dwarf._

_“What was that Fíli?”_

_Fíli's blue eyes were glassy as they looked up at him, he opened his mouth to speak again but closed it not quite having the courage to do so._

_The two stared at each other for a few moments, Thorin watching his young heir trying to gathering his bearings and Fíli trying so hard to not break down._

_After a moment the tears spilled freely down his face and he whispered in a barely audible voice; “He..... He h-hurt me.”_

_Thorin's entire body sagged, he wasn't used to seeing such vulnerability from his boys, especially Fíli.  
The loud whistle of the tea kettle forced him to respond as he took it off the fire to poor the hot water into the mugs. “Aye, I know he did.” _

_Returning to the table with both drinks in hand, Thorin took his seat again handing one to Fíli who accepted it with trembling hands._

_Again silence echoed through the room and Thorin noticed how his heir fidgeted restlessly._

_Torn between what he thought was right and what seemed right, Thorin took a deep breath. “Fíli.”_

_Eventually blue eyes met his own._

_“Do you want to talk about it lad?”_

_Fíli looked down, appearing to be deep in thought he could still see the tears that sparkled in his eyes._

_Thorin waited patiently, he didn't want the boy to feel pressured and after a while Fíli spoke. “I was getting ready to come home...”_

_Giving his nephew his full attention, the exiled king sat in silence._

_“You know t'was my first time drinking out by myself... I didn't.... expect it to take so much out of me.”_

_“Aye, no one blames you for what happened to you my boy.” he reassured softly._

_Fíli didn't seem to acknowledge his words, instead he continued to tell the story. “Was having trouble walking and he helped me, he introduced himself to me then started askin' me questions...”_

_Thorin's brow furrowed, Fíli looked skittish all the sudden as if he'd done or more said something wrong._

_“Questions?” he inquired softly._

_A couple tears streamed down the young dwarf's face, he knew Thorin wouldn't be happy that his attacker had gained important information about their family, namely their royal line and stuff his uncle tried to keep that as secretive as possible for safety._

_“A-Aye.... he... he recognized me....”_

_Thorin winced, this situation was worse than he initially thought._

_“When he hinted at that, I decided t'was time to leave... I-I... I bid him goodbye and left b-but.... he followed me.....”_

_Taking as shuddering breath to will himself to calm down, he continued._

_“Coming home... I noticed that the cellar of the pub had been broken in.. bottom hinge was totally broken off... an' I decided t'let the owner know...”_

_Small tremors started to rack Fíli's body and Thorin placed a comforting hand over one of Fíli's trembling ones._

_“He.... staged it.... he'd been waiting for me t'turn around.... and he... he...”_

_Thorin wasn't at all surprised when Fíli broke into a mess of hysterical tears and buried his face into his arms upon the table._

_“I shouldn't have turned my back!” he cried in frustration._

_“Oh Fíli, you-”_

_The golden haired dwarf jerked upright again, almost alarmed, “I-I fought back! I did! I-I... I really did!”_

_The older dwarrow sat there dumbstruck, he already knew that the boy would have fought tooth and nail to get away from something like that._

_Why would he think he thought otherwise?_

_“H-He was …. a huge m-man! ... and he was so much b-bigger than m-me.... h-he picked me up... like... like I-”_

_Thorin had heard quite enough as he grasped Fíli's chin in a gentle hand, the action stopped the lad's frantic rambling and earned his attention._

_“Fíli....”_

_Two hands were on either side of his head, running through golden waves and cautiously Fíli looked into his uncle's icy blue eyes, glassy with unshed tears._

_“My son, you have done absolutely nothing wrong.” Thorin spoke calmly pulling their foreheads together._

_“Men lananubukhs menu...” Fíli replied softly lip trembling with emotion as the older dwarf pulled him into an embrace._

_Thorin let out a small sigh, resting his chin upon blond curls. “My brave Fíli.”_

**~ Present Day ~**

The silence of the large room was cut by a loud yet haggard gasp of air. 

Pain and fatigue were the only things he could acknowledge at the moment. 

Within the desolate room, two deep blue eyes slowly slid open to the dense blackness of the candle barren chambers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Insert dramatic 'ooooohhh'* 
> 
> ;p Stay tuned guys.


	21. Chapter 21

Dís let out a tired sigh as she sat by Fíli 's bedside.

She hadn't allowed herself sleep ever since Óin told her that Fíli would be fine and that he should wake sometime today. 

Though, the poor child has been asleep for well over twelve hours. 

What if Óin missed something and her Fíli may not wake at all? 

Dís quickly shook her head of the nonsense, Óin has been assisting their family for decades, he too was family after all. 

The old dwarf was wise and ninety percent of the time, he knew what he was talking about. 

"Dís." 

The voice, gentle as it was startled her in the exhausted state she was in. 

_'Balin'_

"Afternoon Balin." 

There was an awkward silence from the dwarf and it didn't go unnoticed by the woman. "What's the matter?"

A small smile came to the elder's face, "Good evening." 

The correction that normally in any other circumstance would have irritated her caused her to grin but it soon fell.

"Lass, I'm sure your body would thank ye for some rest. You look exhausted." 

She shook her head, "I wish to be here when he wakes."

"Aye, but ye know your son Dís." 

Dís looked up with a questioning stare.

Balin chuckled but continued, "Ye know how sensitive he is, laddie will feel worse when he finds you in such a state over him." 

The dwarrowdam said nothing in response, but she did glance toward the door then back to her boy.

"Might I suggest that you rest for a little while? I will stay here and watch the lad." 

Reluctant as she was, the dark haired woman agreed plus she was too exhausted to argue at this point.

Offering a smile the woman spoke, “I appreciate your help Balin. Thank you.” 

“No thank you is necessary my lady.” the other dwarf spoke in his gentle aged voice.

The two exchanged an embrace before parting ways, Dís stumbling out the door and Balin taking his seat near Fíli 's side.

 **~ Dale ~**

A loud crash followed by a frustrated groan echoed through the crumbling structure.

“Sigrid have you seen your brother?” Bard asked.

The young woman couldn't help but laugh from where she had been watching her father struggle to fix one of the window panes, which by the way had so gracefully crashed to the floor upon his failed attempt. “I did tell you that you should have waited to work on this until he returned.”

“Yes. You did. Do you know where he is?” 

“He's been in the market area, helping with reconstruction.”

Bard looked toward the door then back at he's project at hand, mayhaps he should let his son be. They could handle the cold for another night or two. 

“Perhaps I could be of assistance laddie.” 

The bowman had to admit he was a bit surprised when he found the source of the voice belonging the dwarf with the funny hat, what was his name… again…. Bafur? Bomfer… Bofur? Oh yes that was it, Bofur.

“Good afternoon Master Dwarf, I wasn't expecting you.” 

“Aye, sorry about that. What ye working on? Afternoon lassie.” Bofur greeted Sigrid with a nod of his head having finally spotted her in the house.

“I'm trying to get the place fixed up to be a bit warmer until I can start working on the construction again. Tilda's caught a cold I'm afraid...”

Bard paused for a moment, then glanced at his oldest daughter, “Speaking of Tilda.” 

“I'll see to her Da.” Sigrid replied, sending a smile toward the dwarf before heading into the next room.

“Poor lass, that's not fun at all.” the dwarf commented. 

The bowman slunk down into a chair, “No, I suppose it isn't.” 

Bofur eyed the mess of a project on the wall before choosing his words, “Did ye want some help with that?” 

A tired sigh was the son of man's response as he forced a smile on his face, “No, I don't think so, but thank you Master Dwarf. Bane will be back soon, well I should think so.” 

The dwarf chuckled at this, “If you say so.” 

Bard scoffed to himself, but soon found the silence that followed to be more than uncomfortable. 

Wait a minute. Why was there a dwarf of Erebor in Dale? Surely not to help with construction. Unless he awfully misjudged the dwarves.  
“What brings you here Bofur?”

He grinned at him, “Lady Dís wanted to invite yer family to supper.” 

Bard couldn't help the fact that his jaw dropped open, nor the exasperated groan when laugher bellowed from the shorter man as a response. 

“M'just kidding lad. She just wants to speak with you when you have a moment, she says she would come herself but there's a… situation that she has to take care of.” 

The hesitant pause in the middle of the dwarf's sentence didn't go unnoticed by the son of man, curious eyebrows rose. 

“Situation? Has something happened?” 

When Bofur shifted uncomfortably he took that as a sign that the dwarf wasn't at liberty to say, “I see.” 

“M'sorry, I wish I could tell ye.” 

Bard shook his head, “No, I understand master dwarf. Did she say what time would work best for her?” 

A negative shake of the head.

“Da I'm back!” his son's voice announced as he walked through doorway, pushing the slanted door that was hanging off one of it's hinges aside. 

“Ah, there you are! I need you to help me with something-”

The dwarf cut him off and once more gained his attention.

“I could help with that, why don't you go on up to Erebor and see Lady Dís. D'be more than happy to, be nice to get out of the castle for a while.” 

He couldn't help but gawk at the shorter man, “Are you sure?”

“Aye! If yer alright with that.” 

Bard looked toward his son trying to see if the suggestion bothered him, though Bane quickly got annoyed by the stare. “Da, we'll be fine.” 

The bowman scoffed in amusement and ruffled his son's hair briefly. 

“Sigrid!” he called to the next room. 

Bane looked to the dwarf and rolled his eyes at his father's insistence to make sure everything was 'perfectly fine' before he left.

Bofur couldn't help but chuckle softly, apparently he wasn't the only one who thought the man was an overprotective parent.  
“Yes Da?”

“Master Bofur, is going to stay behind and help your brother with the window while I run up to the castle to speak with Lady Dís.”

Sigrid poked her head through the doorway, “Alright?”

The man blinked at her expectantly and when she didn't react he let out a frustrated huff. 

“What?”

“Is that alright with you?” 

“Oh, yes of course. We know him, he was one of the one's here when Smaug came.” 

There was a pause before a small 'Oh.' came from the man.

“Okay, well I'll be back soon.” 

**~ Erebor ~**

It was around night fall when he finally trudged up the stairs to the massive structure, and it didn't take long til he was wandering through the stone corridor's searching for the dwarrowdam.

Honestly, why was this place so huge?

He assumed that more dwarrow folk were making the journey to the Lonely Mountain to return to their homeland. 

It just seemed wrong for a structure of this size to seem so barren. 

More than likely a few months most of the dwarves would have returned to Erebor. Then hopefully these dark halls wouldn't have to seem so eerie any longer.

Bard couldn't help the surprised gasp that escaped him when a something caught his forearm in a vice.

This person was much smaller than he was, he could tell by the way the hands gripped at him, his first instinct was to turn around but when he felt the sharp tip of a knife pressing into his back he decided against it.

He heard haggard breathing like the person was trying to catch their breath and then a deep growl. 

“What... in Durin's name are you doing here son of man?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to apologize for the late update but I've had an awful past couple months. I've had to go through some stuff no woman should have to go through alone, and I'm not proud of some of the stuff well a lot of it. Frankly I really wish I could get a time machine and do 2015 over. I've been in a bad way for quite some time with my mental health. My depression has been absolutely relentless and some of the 'trials' god has been throwing at me lately, has just been...... not very nice, and very not helpful. 
> 
> Also since it's been a while since I've even been on this site, I want to share a moment of silence with everyone for the passings of some of my childhood and adulthood idols. 
> 
> Heaven has gained a ferocious Starman, a classy Eagle, and a beautiful Dove. When heaven comes crashing down to the ground blaring music, we'll all know who's at fault for it. Rock on you legends. You all helped define music in your own way and we owe you so much! 
> 
> I owe David Bowie a lot, he has always been one of my life inspirational people. Like Michael Jackson, Whintey Houston, and Prince, he was one of a kind. An amazing unique man with his own style that everyone knows has inspired millions of the performers that saw him before they themselves were artists. Right next to Robin Williams, he is now the second celebrity passing that when I heard the news I bawled. I was so deeply saddened that it physically hurt! He was just so amazing! It's scary how someone you've never even met can mean so much to you, and how much they can impact your lives. A lot of people are just like "Oh my god you didn't know this person" but am I right when I say that those people have their heads up their arses and have no idea how much pain some fans go through? 
> 
> We also lost one of our favorite Hogwarts professors. I remember that week and oh Jesus it was a hard one. David Bowie died on the 10 two days after his 69th birthday. Four days later we lost Alan Rickman on January 14th. Oh my gosh, it was just so awful. I called my mom and I'm like "OMG SNAPE DIED!" 
> 
> Cancer is a plague that strikes even the mightiest of people and we need to find a cure. 
> 
> R.I.P David Bowie - January 8, 1947 --- January 10, 2016  
> R.I.P Alan Rickman - February 21, 1946 --- January 14th, 2016  
> R.I.P Glenn Frey - November 6, 1948 --- January 18th, 2016  
> R.I.P Prince Rogers Nelson - June 7, 1958 --- April 21, 2016


	22. Chapter 22

The Bowman didn't move a muscle, the cogs in his head were moving quickly as he tried to think of a way to explain himself. 

It wasn't that he was afraid of answering, it was more so he was worried about how the dwarf king's mental state was at the moment. 

He must have just woken up from his coma, because just from seeing how protective and stern Dís was with her boys she knew she must be the same way with her brother. 

“I'm waiting.” Thorin leered dangerously.

Bard cleared his throat awkwardly, “My Lord Thorin, it's a relief to see you on your feet once again.” 

The knife faltered for a little but it still remained threatening close. “What are you doing within these halls?! How is it you got into my home amidst a war!?” 

“My Lord… the battle has finished, quite some time ago I'm afraid.” 

The knife fell to the floor, and he felt his arm being released as the smaller man backed up. 

When the bowman finally turned to face the shorter man, his heart panged with sympathy. 

“You were in a coma my Lord, for little over a month.” 

Thorin looked around for a moment, he needed to sit and he was relieved when he found they were near one of the benches that decorated the vast stone halls throughout the kingdom. 

Bard watched as the dwarf took a seat on the marble bench, sitting there with his mouth hanging open., struck hard with shock over how much time had passed. 

Though he was extremely hesitant to do so, he felt like he should inform the king of some of the things that had happened during his absence. He wasn't really sure if it should come from him, but maybe it would ease the relationship between the King of Erebor and himself, which to be quite frank he REALLY needed to accomplish if he wanted to pursue a relationship with Thorin's heir. 

_'Oh god how is he going to take that part…? I just won't reveal that yet.'_

“If I may… would you like me to update you on the events that have taken place during your absence?”

Thorin looked at him, his jaw tightened in what at first seemed irritation but then he relaxed. A sorrow flooded through his head and he nodded. 

“Aye, that would be appreciated.” 

Bard nodded and took a seat beside the dwarf king. “The battle was won as a result of the conjoined forces of the dwarves of Erebor, the Elves of Mirkwood, and the men of Dale. However, as with all battles there were casualties-”

A sharp gasp came from the king as he remembered something important, or rather someone… two someones actually. A wild panic that the Bowman never thought he'd see within a dwarf's eyes at least not this one's shone brightly. 

“My sister sons are they-?”

Bard raised his hands as he tried to soothe the dwarf, “They live my lord. Young Kíli fought valiantly, he suffered some severe injuries such as yourself. I have heard he took a blow to the head that has given him some trouble, but I expect he's recovering.” 

“And Fíli?” 

The dragon slayer paused, he actually felt like he should let Lady Dís talk to him about Fíli. 

“Prince Fíli suffered some frightening injuries himself, but he has recovered for the most part my lord.” 

Thorin let out a sigh of relief, body relaxing once he learned that his nephews survived.

“Several of the dwarves from the Blue Mountains have already arrived in Erebor. Lady Dís has been keeping a watchful eye-”

“She's here-”

“T-Thorin….” a soft voice came from down the hall. 

Both men looked and they could see the dwarrowdam. Her body was rigid within her blue dress, her mouth agape, as she stared. 

The dwarf stood abruptly and immediately started to walk towards her. “Sister.” 

Dís however did not walk, no instead she bolted down the hall as fast as she could and almost tackled the king to the floor with an embrace. 

Both siblings held each other for a long while and Bard could see the tears full of so many emotions upon the woman's face. “ Durinu-me turg Thorin! I'm so relieved t'ee ye nadad! Ye scared me, ye scared us all!” 

Thorin smiled despite the glassiness of his eyes, how he'd missed his baby sister after all the time that has come to pass. “I apologize Sister. It is good to see you, I have missed you greatly.” 

Bard continued to sit on the bench quietly not wanting to interrupt, and it remained that way for several minutes before Dís finally realized he was there.

“Bard the Dragon Slayer, what brings ye here la- oh...”

“I was told that you sent for me.” 

Dís shifted her eyes to her brother to the man and cleared her throat, “Thorin, brother come with me. Master bowman, I will be right back laddie.” 

**~ XXX ~**

Despite the intense argument the two dwarves had over him going back to bed, Dís managed to keep him there by getting Dwalin to sit down and explain to him what had happened to Fíli and his current… impairment. 

She knew that as soon as Dwalin were to give him those details, the king would come storming into the infirmary but she knew she'd have enough time to inform the son of man about Fíli's situation before that happened. 

“Apologies for the wait laddie.” she spoke as she returned to the hallway where she left the man. 

“No apology is necessary m'lady. Master Bofur said you wished to speak with me?”

The dwarrowdam nodded and joined him on the bench, “Aye, that I do.” 

An awkward pause was deafening within the vast stone corridors, and finally Dís spoke. 

“Fíli, is not fairing very well. There had been an accident th' other night.”

Dread filled the bowman's stomach and it was making his heartbeat race. “Might I ask what happened?” 

The woman bit her bottom lip, it looked like she was trying to hold back tears. 

“My sons have always been very close, more so than most siblings. Their bond is very unique, in fact 'lot of the time 'sides gettin' their names messed up, I have folk askin' me if the boys are twins. Very similar in personalities they are, very protective of each other, wherever Fíli goes, Kíli follows. They be inseparable. Th' Boy's never really slept in different beds, I've always assumed that it's just more comfortable for them.” 

Bard nodded idly, as he listened patiently to the woman's story.

“The other night, Fíli had come home later than usual, an' Kíli had been sleeping. According to Dwalin, Kíli was havin' a battle with some demons in his rest when it happened. Fee was comin' up to climb into bed but the poor boy tripped an' fell on top of his brother. Kíli was scared an' confused, thought he was being attacked, he grabbed a knife from under his pillow and stabbed him in the gut.” 

The bowman scrubbed a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly. 

A few tears trickled down the dwarrowdam's face, “When the poor lad realized what had just happened he started screamin' hysterically. When I got there Dwalin was tryin' to coax Kíli to let him take Fíli to get help. Kíli tol' me what happened and I also learnt that he has been sufferin' from memory loss and some confusion that Óin believes to be caused from his head wound. He hadn't said anythin'.” 

A look of surprise and a tint of guilt flashed over the bowman's face, and it didn't go unnoticed by the dwarrow woman. 

“Did…. Ye know about this?” 

He nodded grimly, “Aye, Fíli told me. I apologize, I would have thought you knew already.”

Dís' eyes hardened in frustration as she glared at the ground, “That foolish boy, he should not have hid this from me. He didn't want me t'worry, but now look at the consequences!” 

Just then they heard a crash and two heavy wooden doors slaming open, followed by Dwalin's voice, “Thorin will ya wait a moment laddie!!” 

Bard offered a weak smile to the distraught woman, he gave her hand a small squeeze, “I'm comfident that Fíli will pull through m'lady. He's a strong man. I do believe I best leave now before I overstay my welcome.” 

Dís nodded as she heard the stomping of Thorin's boots as he stormed down the corridor. “I do believe yer right lad. Don' ye worry 'bout my brother. I shall keep that hot blooded stubborn dwarf in line, I plan t'set him straight about yer relationship with my son.” she reassured with a small wink, chuckling when she saw the heat that rushed to the man's face.


End file.
